Addicted mother. Does anyone have any suggetions?

[36sandy]

Hello, new to the forum. Just happened upon it while searching "drunk mothers". I know that sounds crude but that is what I have. Honestly I was hoping that she wasn't so that we could have a beer at christmas and holidays. Just chill out like any old family...but that is not the case. She went to Delaware to visit her parents and keeps calling me drunk. She doesn't admit it when I question her about it but obviously I can tell.

 

The crazy thing is that my grandparents and mother have just lost my aunt after being an alchoholic/drug user for 35 years. My grandparent took care of her for the last 4 years of her life. It just kills me to know that my mother is so bad off that she is drinking in that same house.

 

My mother is using alcohol to stifle the pain of losing my father a year and a half ago...so that I understand.

 

Anyway, she lives at home with my brother who is a complete lunatic...anger problems, ect. I keep blaming him for things because he is so crazy that I think the problem may be that he is causing the stress that my mother doesn't need. But then she goes to DE and has the same problems so...it really isn't fair to put that on him.

 

I know that all of the things I just read on this forum say to go to Al-Anon and help myself...I get that. Not even sure I need that, I know it is her problem and that I should let it go but it is so hard to let a mother go...

 

She fell down the stairs recently, right in front of me and I had to call 911 and have her rushed to the hospital for a fractured skull and swelling of the brain (same thing my father died of, ect. no alcohol was involved).

 

Anyway, I understand that this may be an over worked subject. It jut feels good to get it out to some people. It is very hard to talk to about with friends as they all hav perfect families and don't really understand. I think the, "If there is anything I can ever do" quote is much overused.

 

Hope everyone is having a good holiday...I hope there is some encouragement out there. Thanks for listening

[sugarmomma]

Has your mom ever been in treatment? If not I would seek out a place and call the AA hotline and they will do what's called a 12th step call on her. Where they introduce her to the program. She might be receptive since she sounds like she's in the beginning stages of alcoholism. also ask her if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. If she says yes, you are halfway there. She doesn't sound like she's beyond help. Just needs to be introduced to a new way of life. Iknow you want your mother back and anything is possible. Try to get a 12th step call done on her.

[Jade 02]

Hello, new to the forum. Just happened upon it while searching "drunk mothers". I know that sounds crude but that is what I have. Honestly I was hoping that she wasn't so that we could have a beer at christmas and holidays. Just chill out like any old family...but that is not the case. She went to Delaware to visit her parents and keeps calling me drunk. She doesn't admit it when I question her about it but obviously I can tell.

 

The crazy thing is that my grandparents and mother have just lost my aunt after being an alchoholic/drug user for 35 years. My grandparent took care of her for the last 4 years of her life. It just kills me to know that my mother is so bad off that she is drinking in that same house.

 

My mother is using alcohol to stifle the pain of losing my father a year and a half ago...so that I understand.

 

Anyway, she lives at home with my brother who is a complete lunatic...anger problems, ect. I keep blaming him for things because he is so crazy that I think the problem may be that he is causing the stress that my mother doesn't need. But then she goes to DE and has the same problems so...it really isn't fair to put that on him.

 

I know that all of the things I just read on this forum say to go to Al-Anon and help myself...I get that. Not even sure I need that, I know it is her problem and that I should let it go but it is so hard to let a mother go...

 

She fell down the stairs recently, right in front of me and I had to call 911 and have her rushed to the hospital for a fractured skull and swelling of the brain (same thing my father died of, ect. no alcohol was involved).

 

Anyway, I understand that this may be an over worked subject. It jut feels good to get it out to some people. It is very hard to talk to about with friends as they all hav perfect families and don't really understand. I think the, "If there is anything I can ever do" quote is much overused.

 

Hope everyone is having a good holiday...I hope there is some encouragement out there. Thanks for listening

 

 

Hi 36Sandy

 

From what I read I,and somesI do have a hard time comprehending,bit seems to me you are not enableing your mom,which is cool,But you typed You don't think that AlAnon,might be for you,why not give it a go,it worked for my mom,and made her life a lil more peaceful,But at the same time I know what saddness you are going threw,hope nothing real bad happens.

 

I wish you the best,and I do care

[Jade 02]

Has your mom ever been in treatment? If not I would seek out a place and call the AA hotline and they will do what's called a 12th step call on her. Where they introduce her to the program. She might be receptive since she sounds like she's in the beginning stages of alcoholism. also ask her if she thinks she has a problem with alcohol. If she says yes, you are halfway there. She doesn't sound like she's beyond help. Just needs to be introduced to a new way of life. Iknow you want your mother back and anything is possible. Try to get a 12th step call done on her.

 

Great Idea Sugarmom,I forgot all about that ,the 12 step call,that be excelent,if she (36sandy's mom) woud meet people just like her who are happy and sobber. I agree try that also 36sandy,and let us know if she excepts or chooses her own road to go down. God bless you 2,and your mom 36