Boundary Problem Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 So I'm sitting around the dinner table tonight listening to a bunch of married couples in their late thirties. Here is what I'm hearing: -the women want holidays where they shop and the husbands look after the kids ALL DAY. -the husband wants a boat and his wife says absolutely not. (they could afford it) -wife wants holidays, husband wants to save for retirement - they go on lots of holidays. no saving happening. -husband gets an email from another woman, wife insists on being cc'd on all emails in the future -big dinner, turkey etc - husband cooked it all. Wife says she doesn't cook (and she really doesn't). Shouldn't grooms-to-be be warned? I didn't see one husband making one authoritative decision tonight. Actually there was one. But that is another story. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Question is, why are women marrying klutzes in the first place? Does their backbone disappear the moment they say "I do"? Why don't brides-to-be get THAT warning? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Boundary Problem Posted December 29, 2009 Author Share Posted December 29, 2009 Does their backbone disappear the moment they say "I do"? Why don't brides-to-be get THAT warning? This is the exact issue. This is why marriage becomes so numbingly boring. To have to agree on everything necessarily pushed the marriage into the middle of the road. And all I heard at that table tonight was blah blah blah. No one was thinking outside the box. I suggested I was going to get rid of my xmas tree (big fake one) because I'm bored with it and I think Christmas should be reinterpreted, and you should have seen the horrified looks. Everything is cookie-cutter these days in how people live their lives and how they run their marriages. No one wants to risk pissing anyone off, so everyone is agreeable and life gets boring. And husbands start turning into doormats. Because the cost of sticking up for yourself can be very high. And people don't want to pay the piper. They prefer their daily comforts rather than reclaiming the essence of who they are - eg that husband who wants a boat. They belong to the yacht club - why can't he have a little boat. She says no and it would only cost $150/mo moorage. They can afford it. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 You know the problem with people nowadays? They sweat the small stuff. And no, it's not all small stuff. But the big stuff gets obscured by the 5h1t-that's-huge mountain of trivial small stuff, and that's all people see. they don't get it. Until it's too late. Then, the small stuff has overwhelmed them so much, they don't have a rat's@$$ clue of how to deal with the big stuff. we're teaching kids the wrong skills, if we're teaching them anything at all, that is..... Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Attwood Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 we're teaching kids the wrong skills, if we're teaching them anything at all, that is..... Exactly!! For a start, parents should pass a test, like a driving test, before they are allowed to have children!! You put a kid in charge of a dangerous vehicle without any knowledge of how to treat it, then there's going to be a nasty accident. Same goes for children!! Same with schools; they teach kids how to pass tests and be attractive to employers. They do not spend enough time teaching the kids about life and themselves. Thrown headlong in to a scary world, seeking a place, an identity, without even knowing who they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Too much money, too much time. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Attwood Posted December 29, 2009 Share Posted December 29, 2009 Thrown headlong in to a scary world, seeking a place, an identity, without even knowing who they are. It's no wonder, so many crash .. Link to post Share on other sites
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