TaraMaiden Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 A friend of mine, raised as a Jew, but who took up Buddhism 20 years ago, (he says he's 'Jewddhist'!...)gave me the following: Sayings of the Jewish Buddhist: If there is no self, whose arthritis is this? Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy. There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that? Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis. ('Bupkis', apparently means 'phukk-all'.) The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others..... The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as a wooded glen. And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha with such rounded shoulders. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist. Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness. The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So, maybe we're off the hook. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated? Drink tea and nourish life; with the first sip, joy; with the second sip, satisfaction; with the third sip, peace; with the fourth, a Danish. Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story. Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health, or a life without problems. What would you talk about? The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others..... The Tao is not Jewish. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems. Take care, Eve xx Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 :lmao::lmao: oh, these are priceless, TM! Link to post Share on other sites
Trey Walter Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Oy. The Torah says, Love your neighbor as yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So, maybe we're off the hook.LOL, hilarious! You got some more of those sayings? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TaraMaiden Posted January 2, 2010 Author Share Posted January 2, 2010 Following a slightly different tack, visit - www*dot*despair*dot*com I laughed 'til the tears rolled down my legs...... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 2, 2010 Share Posted January 2, 2010 hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha Link to post Share on other sites
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