therhododendron Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 There's this guy I've been on and off with for a good two months now, his name's Matt. At first when we met I thought he was a total creep. I didn't like him at all like that, but he was head-over-heels for me. And he was always talking to me (texting, facebook, aim, etc) Trying to get ahold of me anyway he could. And one night, after a really dramatic fight with my friends, I was desperate to talk to anyone at that point. And of course, cue Matt. We talked over facebook chat for a while, and I was freaking out the entire time... I was pretty much hysterical. And then he called me, and we talked through it for a while and I felt better. I went to bed and didn't think twice of it. I didn't have any stronger feelings for him, still. I just thought it was sweet of him to be there for me. And these phonecalls continued, and we started to talk even more. I still had no intentions of being his girlfriend or anything like that. Infact, I heard from numerous amounts of people he still hadn't quite gotten over his ex (he'd been dating her for 2 years) and he was just desperate to get with another girl. I'd semi-recently broken up with my boyfriend I'd been dating for a year, so I was in need for some lovin' as well. Even though I didn't like Matt, I dropped indistinct hints that I wanted to keep him around. I had him wrapped around my finger. And finally, he invited me to go listen to his band play (he's in a classic metal rock band, he does covers of bands like KISS and Judas Priest.) I accepted and went to his house that same night, and when I watched him intently play his guitar, absorbed in the music, our feets tapping in sync... that's when it hit me. I liked him, a lot. I really, really, really liked him. And so began the friends with benefits. I really enjoyed what we had... even though it was extremely short-lived. We actually slept with eachother, as well... and after that I had a feeling it was time to take the next step. Matt actually asked me out before all of the benefits started, on Halloween to be exact, but I politely said no and that we should take things slowly and be friends first. But abruptly, everything stopped. The secret flings, the cute indistinct flirting that only we would understand... it was like nothing ever happened. I gave it a couple weeks to see if it was just his mood. His home-life wasn't so swell so I gave him sometime... because his family could really drive him off the edge. But nothing seemed to change, and I finally mustered the courage to ask him what was up. He said, "I don't want a relationship right now, ever since what happened with Lauren I don't know if I want to date anyone anymore... or even get married. I really don't want to hurt you, but I want to be honest with you." I appreciated it, I really did. I was mentally prepared to accept the hit and walk off, but something inside me didn't click. I made myself a pathetic mess in front of him, and I made it perfectly clear that I was hurt. (I didn't say this but I wanted to scream at him, "I'M NOT LAUREN!") Anways, it wasn't a good move, I know. I didn't say anything to him for a day, I made it noticable, too. I laughed and giggled with my friends, and would glance over to see him looking over at me. I usually sit with him and my other guy friends as well, but I didn't sit there that day and sat with other people, making it look like nothing was effecting me. Later that day, my friend Becky told me that he was complaining about it the entire time that I was ignoring him. Feeling a little bad, I decided to put the heartbreak that occured the other night aside and talk to him like everything was normal. And everything did go back to normal, but we were just friends. I still had extreme feelings for him, but I knew he didn't feel the same. It killed me. But now... he's starting to get all flirty with me again... but I don't know if it's because he likes me emotionally or if he just wants me sexually. I don't know what he wants, so I'm going with the flow. We're back to being friends with benefits, but we haven't kissed once. We've just gone straight to fourplay (we haven't had sex) Yesterday we went into his bandroom and we did some things, and I think at one point he was going to lean into kiss me, but I rested my head on his shoulder instead. I don't know what he wants from me. He barely texts me anymore, he only texts me a couple times a week asking if I want to hang out or something sexual. Nothing really... emotional. I don't know, I'm so confused now. I want him to like me more than just a sex buddy... and I don't know if that's how he feels. He still complains about his ex to me and our friends all the damn time. Anyways... any suggestions to what his thinking process is? Does he like me emotionally/sexually/both? And how I can get him to want me back? Or.. if he already does, how to I make the move or get him to? Ahh! I'm so confused! Help me!! Feel free to ask any additional questions about it to sum up your awnser better! Whoa.. this turned out to be way longer than I thought, heh. Link to post Share on other sites
ordinary_girl Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 would it be possible to re-post this with some paragraphs please? not many people will read it like this Link to post Share on other sites
Author therhododendron Posted December 30, 2009 Author Share Posted December 30, 2009 Thanks for the tip! I'll change it now! Link to post Share on other sites
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