Second Chance...Or So I Thought

[Octobre]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of fifteen months. He lives in...let's call this Place A.

 

I moved five hours away (Place B). We were trying to make it work. When I lived near him and we were physically able to see each other, we had a great relationship but about two weeks after I moved, we started constantly fighting about everything.

 

A lot of bad things happened to both of us that month which I think made the situation a long harder than it normally would've been. His grandmother (whom he cared for VERY much) died the week before I left. He got his hand caught in a machine at work and lost his job. He only got cuts and bruises luckily but now he's hesitant to get back into that industry. I don't blame him. He had an uncle in the family die. I found out my grandmother has cancer and I am alone about 14 of the 16 hours I'm awake everyday. I feel my loneliness was a difficult factor because I was constantly around people before.

 

Well, when I broke up with him, he agreed that it was best and we both thought it best that we try to work it out when I moved back. I recently found out that I was going to be back in Place A much sooner than I'd originally planned. I told him about this. He said he wants time alone and that he's not wanting to give it another shot after all. He'd been acting very distant after that. He seemed almost like a completely different guy. One that I was NOT very fond of. I was very hurt but I said okay and started working on an alternate plan. I talked to my close friend about going to get a job with him and living there (Place C) for six months to a year, saving cash and ultimately going back to Place A later in the future.

 

My ex and I were talking about it and I told him my plans of going to Place C. He told me he missed me a lot more than he let on and that he actually wants me to come back. He said he was acting distant because he was scared and that he'd rather me go back to him than off to live with my friend because he loved me and was being a.......[explicit] because he was worried I would leave again.

 

I ended up...stupid me..deciding to go back to Place A and trying to make it work with my ex. He was being sweet to me again and acting like he did before...then he just started being really weird again after a few days. He's completely confused and hurt me. He gets mad at me because he said he wants to talk to me but when I try, he always gets pissed off saying I don't give him any space and he's worried about trying to make me happy when I get back.

 

WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! He's the one that said he wanted me to go back. I am getting everything in order in my life. Everything's starting to fall back into place and he just flip flops out of nowhere. I know it's not me because my attitude toward him never changed. I've always loved him but I felt the relationship was going to be damaged permanently if I hadn't ended it then. I'm just doing what he wants and it's pissing him off. He snapped at me yesterday for trying to make conversation and apologized but by that time I was already tired of the whole thing.

 

I was asking him what he was doing. He said he was hanging out with one of our mutual friends. I said I would let him go because I didn't want to be a nuisance. He told me I wasn't. I told him to help make a conversation then because I'd been trying earlier and it hadn't worked out in my favor. He asked me why everything is based on coversations. I said because it's difficult to keep talking unless it's a conversation.. He replied "We don't have to be talking constantly though." I got pissed off because I told him I'd let him go a few minutes earlier. I said "I didn't say we had to..Sorry. I'll let you go." He proceeded with "Sorry, I just get stressed out when we can't talk." I responded with Sorry. He told it's not my fault. I exited the conversation.

 

This morning he texted me saying he had a killer migraine last night. I said that sucks and he responded with, yeah, it did. I didn't attempt to talk to him anymore today and vice versa.

 

Sorry for all the he said, she said. Seems very high school. I just didn't want to write up a fancy script.

 

 

Anyway...

I'm completely lost as to why I was the one getting pissy comments thrown at me when all I was trying to do was communicate. So I'm done trying for a while.

 

 

Can anyone tell me what all of this means? I put it under second chances because that was my biggest issue with all of this. The rest is just a little bit of extra stuff you guys can give advice and commentary on. All help is appreciated at this point!!

 

~Octobre