HELP!!!! I think im in love

[neely]

i have a big problem....i like this girl that i am close friends with more than just a friendship......i let her know.....how i feel and she seems to take it like im giving her a big head......she doesnt react any real way....what do i do?????

 

I dont want to take that extra step cause it might ruin the great friendship we already have....is it possible it could turn into something else???? we act so great around each other....its like shes scared of getting involved with anyone....she only wants to be friends ......its as if she is denying her feelings......what should i do......i try to back off....and let it roll.....but everytime i see her or talk to her.....i want more.......its killing me!!!!! she is so great....i have never had a connection with a girl like this before.......

 

The thing is.....is that she knows she has no business being involved with a guy the way i want......she has to deal with some issues.....but the crazy thing is ....is i have the same exact issues......we can help each other.....out.....like we already do.....it seems so perfect........but yet ......doesnt seem like the time.....i need some help

[SoleMate]

I'd love to help, but I'm a bit confused. I don't understand the "big head" part, or the "issues" that you share.

 

As far as I can tell, you have a close, platonic friendship that you would like to turn into a romantic relationship, but without ruining the friendship if the extra stuff doesn't work out. You have attempted to communicate your desires, yet she shows no reaction. Hmmmmm.

 

Well, that may mean:

 

1) you were too subtle and she didn't even get your hint

2) she got the hint, but she wants to keep you as a platonic friend

3) she got the hint and is interested, but is waiting for you to actually DO something

 

There was a thread a while back about how ineffective it is for a man to "let her know how he feels" and then sit back and wait for the woman to take action. It's really lame to put all the burden on her. If you start telegraphing your intentions, she'll pull back if she's not interested, and move towards you if she is. She probably won't say, "Oh, in that case, let me climb on to you now and we'll make love like wild weasels". So what kind of reaction were you expecting? It may not be fair, and I didn't make the rules, but yeah, if things are not going fast enough for you, you will need to DO something.

 

If you really need some literal moves, make sure you are alone and try holding her hand or massaging her shoulders - just something that's a little more physical than you've been so far, yet not so far that anyone would be horrified (like grabbing her and sticking your tongue down her throat or your hands down her pants). Smile in a quiet, confident way. See how she reacts to your touch - does she tense up and pull away, or lean towards you? If she seems to enjoy it, then hopefully you can take it from there.

 

Good luck!

[AllyKat]

I agree!

 

Sometimes, if people have things to deal with, they just need a friend. Not to complicate things with a relationship...which may happen.

 

Deal with the things you need to first, then you can put all of your effort towards her!

[mjk]

I agree with SoleMate,

 

But another thing, how old are the two of you?

 

And if you are old enough, like being on your own etc., Do you really want what sounds to me by your

 

 

The thing is.....is that she knows she has no business being involved with a guy the way i want......she has to deal with some issues.....but the crazy thing is ....is i have the same exact issues......we can help each other.....out.....like we already do.....it seems so perfect........but yet ......doesnt seem like the time.....i need some help

 

a co-dependant relationship?

 

Or maybe the two of you need to just spend time together, and work on each other slowly.

[Spengles]

Originally posted by SoleMate

I'd love to help, but I'm a bit confused. I don't understand the "big head" part, or the "issues" that you share.

 

As far as I can tell, you have a close, platonic friendship that you would like to turn into a romantic relationship, but without ruining the friendship if the extra stuff doesn't work out. You have attempted to communicate your desires, yet she shows no reaction. Hmmmmm.

 

Well, that may mean:

 

1) you were too subtle and she didn't even get your hint

2) she got the hint, but she wants to keep you as a platonic friend

3) she got the hint and is interested, but is waiting for you to actually DO something

 

There was a thread a while back about how ineffective it is for a man to "let her know how he feels" and then sit back and wait for the woman to take action. It's really lame to put all the burden on her. If you start telegraphing your intentions, she'll pull back if she's not interested, and move towards you if she is. She probably won't say, "Oh, in that case, let me climb on to you now and we'll make love like wild weasels". So what kind of reaction were you expecting? It may not be fair, and I didn't make the rules, but yeah, if things are not going fast enough for you, you will need to DO something.

 

If you really need some literal moves, make sure you are alone and try holding her hand or massaging her shoulders - just something that's a little more physical than you've been so far, yet not so far that anyone would be horrified (like grabbing her and sticking your tongue down her throat or your hands down her pants). Smile in a quiet, confident way. See how she reacts to your touch - does she tense up and pull away, or lean towards you? If she seems to enjoy it, then hopefully you can take it from there.

 

Good luck!

 

is this thread still around? I need advice like this..

[yogi-mon]

just be her friend and dont push anything

 

eventually, if its right she will initiate something, or give you clear signals she wants you to initate something.

[ifebuche]

You look cute