hrtbrknx1000 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 I am separated from my husband of 4 years now for almost 3 months. During these 3 months he met someone..moved her in and she is now pregnant for about a month now. We have recently stopped talkin for about a week now. Before this we would talk, txt how much we missed and loved each other to fighting with each other...back and forth. When he told me the girl was pregnant..he was upset that I was upset and told me he loved me and later on that night we fought about it calling each other names and he tells me that he's happy now about to start a family and that all this wouldn't be happening if I didn't leave...blaming me for everything. My question is how can he just pick up with someone else and not even go thru the pain I went and am going thru. We were in love so I don't understand. I know that he got with her to ease the pain of our break up but is it possible for him to be happy? I can't ven think about being with someone else yet. Even though I could never forgive him, is this something he will regret? Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 The reality of his situation has not hit him yet. This relationship is new and exciting and if having a family was something that he wanted, he is thinking that he is happy right now, but let me tell you after that baby comes his life will be totally different. Having a child with someone you love and trust is hard, imagine how hard it will be with someone he doesn't even know. The two of them had hardly enough time to get to know each other let alone get to know each other well enough to decide if they wanted to have a baby together. Are there situations like these that work out? I am sure there are, but those are the exception not the rule. After the end of a relationship there is work the needs to be done on yourself and you are doing it, he is not. Eventually he will have to do it. He may think that he is happy and he may actually honestly believe that he is happy. But don't concern yourself with him. You need to concern yourself with you. Are you happy? If not, its time to get happy. Its is going to take a lot of hard work and there will be a lot of pain and lonliness along the way, but believe me it will all be worth it at the end. I was in your situation a year ago (minus the pregnancy) and last year was the longest year of the my life, but I am happy now and my life is better that ever. Embrace this time to get to know you and you will come out the other end a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 That was a VERY quick "move on" on his part....has he always been extremely impulsive, or has he been cheating on you in the last year? Let's just see how happy he is, when the baby is one month old, crying, pooping, throwing up, and she doesn't want sex anymore...(sorry, I am a bit cynical about "quick love"...) Link to post Share on other sites
Author hrtbrknx1000 Posted January 3, 2010 Author Share Posted January 3, 2010 He is 30 and I am 37...the new woman is 29. He is also the co-dependant type... Link to post Share on other sites
foreal Posted January 3, 2010 Share Posted January 3, 2010 hrtbrknx1000, I ask myself that too. My H left me and our 3 year old son. And I am the one now pregnant. He says he isn't with MOW, but I know he is. I am so sorry for your pain. I don't have any advise but just wanted you to know you are not alone. Startingover2010 is right though....we cannot worry about HIM. We have to take care of ourselves. Easier said than done but I hope eventually I can garner the strength...right now it is all i can do to not call, text email etc him. Why they do this I don't know. Everyone says he will regret it..but will he? And what about us, the women they dump and jerk around? What will we regret? I can only hope for you and me that one day we will look back and be happy this happened now...BUt right now the pain is so great. (((hrtbrknx1000))) Link to post Share on other sites
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