Should I let go?

[princess75]

Hi! My ex bf is still my friend. Actually after break up I had a chance to go out with another boy and I did but then

 

realized I am totally in love with my ex. Basically I knew all the way but my ex bf broke up with me and I was torn

 

and needed a shoulder to cry on. I was very honest with the second boy so there was no problem when we ended

 

the affair, he just wanted that and I guess I needed it to make the mistake. My ex bf broke up with me and within

 

one week started going out with this new gal. She is now his current gf. They are going out for 1 months and

 

something. Now my ex bf still sees me, we even had post breakup sex one time, where I did not know about the

 

seriousness of this gal (I assumed it was same as mine) But afterwards he changed and now wants to stick to the

 

gal, but we still decided to be friends. He claims to still love me, but does not want me back. We saw each other

 

whole weekend and then I became sick so he came to take care of me. We have passed the post break up sex

 

stage, we have not gone physical again, except for hugging each other. Till the other day, when we both were

 

very good with each other and just gave each other a kiss. Now he still says he wont come back to me and he is with

 

this gal. He even wants me to meet her, and be "friends" I dont think this is likely to happen, as I am totally in love

 

with him. I suspect he is too but due to fear of commitment he is going the easy way. Now, I dont like to snatch

 

bf's from anyone, I am not the type, and I am now feeling guilty for beign sort of doing that. How do I go about this

 

whole situation? Should I jsut stop it altogether? Another thing, is I am aware that if he can do it to his current

 

gf he can do it later to me...but we were going for 2 years and was 100% faithful and I trust him a lot. I was

 

wondering if trust can be rebuild or is it just not possible? Another thing, how do I convice him to be alone, without

 

me nor the other gal, so he is not confused...and can decide with the heart? PLease help.

 

Well, now some weeks have passed since I wrote the above. We have made love again, even though he still has his gf. He does say he is still in love with me, but does not want to come back to me for now. SHould I trust my instinct or should I let him go for good?

[texastapper]

You are extremely nieve, he is using you in every sense of the way and you are letting him. The mistake you are making if you truly want to be with this guy is letting him experience life without you. Let him see that he needs you in his life again, and that without you his life isnt the same. Right now he has his cake and he is eating it too, and you are letting him. He can have sex with you whenever he wants and is probably having sex with her too. Even if he says he isnt. You dont know the truth. You are basically bait to him right now. Whenever he is feeling lonely and the other girl is not conveniently there, then he turns to you. You have to put an end to this, that is not love that is using somebody for there own personal pleasure. If thats somebody that you want to be with then look out for your future because you are going to have a bumpy road to travel. He is not ready for commitment and you can not force that on anyone, it is something you have to accept. Be smart and tell this guy he can no longer have you if he is still with her. If he is smart then he will realize what he is losing, but you truly need to let him go, and give him time to see the big picture. If he does come back, make him wait for sex, find out if he is for real, or if the sex is the only reason he came back. If that is hard, then please yourself in other sexual ways so that you are not into him when that time comes. Trust yourself and you will see the results!!