Do You Delete Them As Facebook Friend After Being Broken Up With?

[SadKitty78]

I still have my ex as my FB friend and seeing him change his relationship status was devastating and another punch in the stomach (second to the words coming out of his mouth saying he was done with the relationship). I've even gone onto his page several times today to see if he has deleted the photos of us. I know I should stop! It's not doing me any good, but why can't I delete him? That just seems so final, so much of a definite thing, and frankly, I don't feel ready to do that.

 

Any thoughts? Advice? What do you all usually do in this situation?

[Howitzer]

You could just hide his status updates on your home page for now if you want. Or you could just stop using facebook for awhile. It's up to you what steps you need to take. The important thing is that you learn to stop obsessing over how he thinks about you. Realize it doesn't matter what he is doing. He broke up with you, so rationalize how he feels. I know it's tough.

 

It sucks to see the words that came out of his mouth come true. It's like they're being confirmed right? Sorry about what happened.

[Golfilla]

A better question is why he's still an FB friend to start with? You should have deleted him the day you broke up. This is one of those situations where it's better to react angrily and burn your bridges so there's no going back. Just go in and delete him from your FB friend list right now and have done with it, and while you're at it, block him from contacting you. Once it's over, it's over.

[SadKitty78]

 

It sucks to see the words that came out of his mouth come true. It's like they're being confirmed right? Sorry about what happened.

 

Yes, yes, yes!!!! Him saying it was one thing, but I kept holding on to hope that maybe we would still work things through since his FB relationship status was "In a Relationship" for a day after our breakup. Then today I saw that he had changed it and I was crushed.

[Citizen Erased]

When I broke up with my ex he deleted me on FB the next day, if he hadn't I would have done so. There is no point in being able to see what each other is up to.

 

He did try to add me back a couple of days later but I ignored it and blocked him so he can't even find my page anymore and I can't see his page or comments he makes on our mutual friends photos, updates etc. Like I said it was pointless and I knew he'd be driving himself crazy reading things on my FB, aspects of my life away from him he had no idea about as he wasn't in my life anymore. And that's what you're doing, driving yourself crazy. You really need to delete him.

[Space Ritual]

Delete and block him or deactivate your account for awhile, because you got this far in life without that damn FB,.didn't you?

 

Social sites are not the end all be all of existence as some would believe. If anything find something else to do online...write a blog, pick up a new hobby but for the forseeable future until you feel string enough to co-exist with this guy on the same platform you will do yourself a favor if you don't go there for awhile. because the guy is bound to use a status or post in the near future to try to exact some emotional extortion or use it as a weapon. Thats how modern day breakups are played out in the internet era...sniping on statuses. don't play his game

[carolinawanderer]

Don't just delete him, BLOCK him.

 

I made the mistake of not blocking my ex quickly enough. The result was me seeing a picture of her new boyfriend kissing her. I wanted to scream bloody murder.

[adamt]

remove as a friend and block him. there is no reason to see anything about your ex. day after i was dumped my ex changed her profile to single and it hurt like hell. i kept her as a friend for a month. but there was no point so i unfriended her then later on blocked her. you gve to block them to help you to move on

[CaliGuy]

Delete

Block

End of story

 

If you don't, you will be miserable. And there is no benefit to them seeing your page either. It won't make them want you more. It will simply punish you, not them, to keep looking at their page.

[Barriers-down]

I deleted my boyfriend from my fb frient list the same day he broke up with me because I knew that I would be obsessing over him and also I wanted to avoid the "punch in the stomach" that you described, seeing him change his relationship status.

 

It took me 10 more days to change my relationship status to single..did it on the 30th of december, because I wanted to start the new year fresh.

 

However, despite all my attempts to appear strong to him, which I probably or hoperfully do, I am so hurt inside and yearn for him to contact me again. I mean, I would not reply, but I don't know I just want him to realise that he wants me back...

 

I have not managed to block him...If I do, I think that will be it. But maybe I should... I don't know....

 

I think you maybe need to start gradually, step by step. Start by deleting him as a friend, you will feel much better and you will imply that you are strong and have self-worth. At least that is the message I hope will get across...

[ladymistique]

Hell yes! Delete, deactivate, disengage and proceed.

[adamt]

Once you have removed them as a friend then the hard bit to deal with is having mutual friends. The times when they comment on a mutual friends status or the other way round. or they turns up on someones photo album or a friend is tagged on their album. In the end the only solution is to block them. Be warned, if you then unblock them it takes 48 hours before you cn block them again. It's hard when youy see photos of the ex cropping up shows she is having such a fun time without you, however bare in mind that facebook life is meant to make is seem everyone is having a time of their lifes, if it were true they wouldnt be on facebook so much

[LovelyDaze]

Once you have removed them as a friend then the hard bit to deal with is having mutual friends. The times when they comment on a mutual friends status or the other way round. or they turns up on someones photo album or a friend is tagged on their album. In the end the only solution is to block them. Be warned, if you then unblock them it takes 48 hours before you cn block them again. It's hard when youy see photos of the ex cropping up shows she is having such a fun time without you, however bare in mind that facebook life is meant to make is seem everyone is having a time of their lifes, if it were true they wouldnt be on facebook so much

 

adamt is right. I hid all of my ex's statuses and blocked him because I knew it would be good for my heart to just stop having any kind of knowledge of what he was up to. Hiding statuses is a good first step, then blocking and then deleting altogether is the finished product.

 

I've read here on LS how many dumpers used Facebook & MySpace to gloat about their new gf/bf or how happy they are to be finally single. I know that has to hurt. My ex did that in a way about being engaged only to come over multiple times to my home to ask for me back...all while he was engaged to someone else AND posting cute "I love you's" to HER!

 

adamt's last statement: bare in mind that facebook life is meant to make is seem everyone is having a time of their lifes, if it were true they wouldnt be on facebook so much.....is spot on. We all have bad days & suffer in the heart. Dumpers want to make the dumpees believe that every day is sunshine and roses. It's not. Love & happiness isn't boastful. Let them keep playing that game all by themselves and delete them.

[adamt]

another thing i forgot to say is that sometimes you can work something out you ex might have done. in my case a mutual friend(he is not that close to me or my ex) added some friends and a sister of my ex yesterday. I have an idea where the mutual friend went for new year and probably bumped into them all. so you end up wondering how the ex was doing.

 

But the most important reason to block them is that you dont want to find out they are seeing someone else while you getting over them. do you really want to see a profile picture of your ex with someone else. my ex joined a gym and lost weight in the lead up to dumping me and it hurts me to see how hot she now looks. i cant deal with it and i dont want her to find that out.

 

just block them! end of!

 

once i meet someone else i am going to think about deactiviting my facebook account. I've met someone who i really like and thankfully she isnt on facebook. hopefully something develops. also thinkof the complication of when you start dting soemone new and you may have some of your picture of your ex on facebook in your albums. remove the albums where you went on holiday together..etc

Edited January 3, 2010 by adamt

[Catseye8]

Oh, yeah. Delete delete delete.

 

When I went on Facebook post-breakup to delete him, I noticed he'd sort of got there first - he deleted all the people he'd met through me, but kept me. Um, riiiiiight. I finished the job and deleted him, anyway; I don't want to see any of his status updates, even '[Commitmentphobic Screwup] has been to the shop to buy milk', because it'd just kill me.

[adamt]

the little nonsense status updated do mess with your head no matter how trivial they are. it makes you wonder what the ex is doing. it does hurt when you think some of your mutual friends came from yourside. I hve some friends who have hardly ever spoken to her but they ended up as friends on facebook. you just hve to take facebook with a pinch of salt, i mean who can possibly have 500+ 'friends'?

 

But just be proactive and anticipate the worst can happen and fix it before it does happen. facebook is evil in a break up! nothing worse than a status being changed to single then people being nosey and wondering what happened! any future relationships i will be very careful with facebook.

 

What you dont know can't hurt you!

Edited January 3, 2010 by adamt

[HLP234]

All those sites only make things worse. Especially the newsfeed stuff. Even if you remove them from friends it still somewhat shows up. I'm not sure if she has blocked me or just removed me..but when I search for her in my friends list she is not there so I guess I have been removed..I see it as ok as long as you too have said its over..but in my case removing me from facebook to say its over is harsh.

[adamt]

and also dont read into it too much if after the break up they still have pictures of you up. more than likely they are over you,moved on and not bothered if they are still there. they may get removed if they meet someone knew though.7 months on i know for fact my ex hasnt take her pictures down.

 

Thinking about it i hate facebook, i am sure it contributed to the break up. she reconnected with old friends and would spend far too much time on it. especially in my company. it can damage a relationship in many ways and break down communication

Edited January 3, 2010 by adamt

[HLP234]

After I found out she removed me from her friends today, I have seen she has no pictures of me and her up, only her and her new guy or whatever. I removed mine promptly and changed my relationship status. She can't see that I think because we are not friends anymore but if she says something than I have nothing to say in return...she could have at least told me im sorry its over but no, she had to do it by posting pics and removing me from there, which is stupid.

[adamt]

that's a bit crap getting dumped via facebook like that.

 

jsut checked and my ex still has at least 1 photo of me on her facebook. Feels odd that were arnt even friends and spoken only once in 8 months yet some of our holidays photos are stil on her profile. but i aint reading anything into it.

[HeavenOrHell]

Fb is a curse. Hate it. I feel depressed most days cos of some fb thing of his. I deleted him a while ago and he immediately re-requested me and he said did you mean to delete me? Yes, I bloody did!

I want to delete him again but haven't made myself do it yet.

[DustySaltus]

My ex-fiance and I had so many mutual friends that I just wound up deleting my account entirely. I just wanted to disappear. At the end of the day when breakups occur it's the undelrying issues that lead to the breakup that hurt more than any status update or friend request.

[SadKitty78]

Ugh, he has given me only LIMITED access to his site and removed ALL the photos of us! I can't believe this! Over ONE New Year's Eve fight, he decided to break up with me?!!!!! And everything is this final?! Another blow!!!!

[adamt]

Ugh, he has given me only LIMITED access to his site and removed ALL the photos of us! I can't believe this! Over ONE New Year's Eve fight, he decided to break up with me?!!!!! And everything is this final?! Another blow!!!!

 

Just block him. you deserve better respect than that from a coward!

[SadKitty78]

Just block him. you deserve better respect than that from a coward!

 

Yup, ONE day later he changed his relationship status. The whole day of the breakup I kept going to his page and seeing it hadn't been changed and hoping that it was just a temporary thing that he was just mad at me and we were just working things out.

 

Second day, he has now done the limited access thing and removed all photos! I gotta be strong here and delete him!!!!

 

EDIT: What's wrong with me? I cannot do it! I tried, yet instead went ahead and looked at it again, and although I can't see his status updates nor his friends' comments (blocked that from me), I could see that he had deleted the photos of us!

 

I think I do it because it makes me feel closer to him at least, this curiosity, but everytime I do it, there is no satisfaction, only pain.

Edited January 3, 2010 by SadKitty78