Uh... We fu*%@$ up

[Eriond]

Uh im gonna shorten this as much as I can but i think more detail would give me better answers so... bare with me.

Me and my best friend met when we were 12. She moved in next door. I liked her in that puppy dog kinda thing ya know and she liked me to. But nothing ever happen. About 7th grade we dated for...3 days i think. She was like its awkward your my best friend my brother whatever. I was like ok its cool. We kissed on a truth or dare thing, both of our first kisses.

So 11th grade high school were 17. Shes dated this kid named *bob* for about 4 years. They break up on and off, he treats her bad, yea. Well i liked her this whole time and it was terrible, picking her up from his house crying at like 2 am. Hanging out with her and shed be like can u drop me off at *bobs* or come pick me up.

Well they broke up for the final time and we started talking serious again for about 2 weeks. then she broke it off and went back to *bob*. Im gonna input here that i was basically her best friend and she told me everything, from sexual to school. Thats hard to hear btw, but i was always there because if she was happy, i was...yea.

Well family crap came up and she moved across the country, in January. We visited her during...July? We hung out the whole time she blew off her bf for me and everything and then after about a week we went back home.

So we txted, aimed, just talked to each other the whole time. She came down about 2 weeks ago to visit us for Christmas. When she got here she told me she always knew i was the one and she always liked me. Surprised me but I told her I still liked her to. So we chilled together all week laid in bed, cuddled, watched movies, all that good stuff.

2 days before she left she said she had a headache so i was rubbing her head. Then uh things got a little hotter and ended up with me fingering her. The next day we talked about it and she was like i let my hormones take control but the kiss during it was all me. Next night were cuddling together and were getting a little hot, but shes stopped my hand once or twice, and her family decides its time to leave. I kiss her goodbye and shes moving back in may and is like im gonna wait for you when i come home ur all mine.

Ok I really am sorry for the long story and if i get no help i completly understand. But my question.

1. WTF do i do?

2. She was seriously into me, i turned her on from rubbing her back, thats not possible.. I know. So that means it wasnt where I was rubbing its the fact that it was me. right?

3. Was I wrong to do that if i knew it was just hormones. Like she kissed my neck at one point, girls only do that if hormones are involved.

Any advice at all is amazing because that means you read all this crap about some random person and you cared. Your amazing, or just really bored.

[paddington bear]

Forget about this hormones nonsense, people get turned on if you've been cuddling up in bed with them, massaging them etc. it's only natural that things get heated up.

 

I have a suspicion that she's not over Bob...or there is another Bob or she might not be convinced that she wants you more than a friend, otherwise she wouldn't have pulled away. Whatever the reason, she's confused and is making excuses for getting turned on by being with you.

 

I say, get out there and date other girls until you move back. Don't put your life on hold for this girl, she knows or assumes that you will always be there for her in the sidelines no matter what she does. Don't be that guy. Either she wants you as a boyfriend or just a friend. You need to find out which it is, and if it is just a friend you need to stop picking up the pieces for her and to concentrate on your own life and loves.

 

You've been there to support her through thick and thin, she knows you want her as more than a friend - but beware the promise of things to come, it could be you move back and she's dating someone else. Call her or email her and ask her, 'did I get that right, that when I move back you're all mine?' and try to figure out if so, why she didn't want to take things any further with you when you were last with her.

 

Remember actions speak louder than words.

 

Best of luck!

[Eriond]

Yea the story was already long and confusing enough so I tried to wrap it up.

 

 

Call her or email her and ask her, 'did I get that right, that when I move back you're all mine?' and try to figure out if so, why she didn't want to take things any further with you when you were last with her.

 

 

When she stopped me and i looked surprised she said that she didnt want to go to far before she knew what she wanted and to make sure she felt the same way after she left.

 

So your saying I should not worry about it until she moves back and just stay the way it was untill then.

[paddington bear]

OK, so she said that she wanted to make sure she felt the same way. Listen to those words. That is not an 'ok, we are all systems go'. There is a 50/50 chance that she might say, yes I want you as my boyfriend, but equally that she decides she doesn't see you that way.

 

I'm saying do not put your life on hold for this girl. Have a look at all other threads here of guys in love with their best female friends and getting friendzoned and out of the friendzone. By being there for her all the time and acting like a boyfriend, but getting none of the benefits, you are friendzoning yourself. Seriously, put frienzone into the search here and read the mostly guys stories and the consequences of their actions etc.

 

A little jealousy never does any harm to speed up other's decisions about whether they want you or not. Hence go and date others until she moves back again, or until she definitely says she wants more than friends and sticks with that. Also dating others gets your head focused away from this girl, who, remember still may or may not want to date you as a boyfriend. You don't want to get your self-esteem crushed by her not wanting you. She has to realise that you won't wait around forever for her to make her decision.

[Eriond]

Lol you just said exactly what I am thinking. So it is the right thing to do, now if only it was easier. thanks for your advice, hopefully ill be able to follow it