crysiet Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 I have this guy friend. I love him so much, he is the best friend I have. He is in love with me (there is a difference). I know he would be a good boyfriend, but I just dont see him in that way. Hes not ugly or anything, in fact he is cute in his own way. He is considerate of my thoughts and feelings. He never has done anything to hurt me. He has like me for over a year, but Ive only known for about two months. He keeps asking me what is wrong with the way he is. I cant make him understand that he is not doing anything wrong. My previous boyfriends were not half as good to me as he is. Is there something wrong with me for not pursuing this? Should I feel guilty? I hope that Im only attracted to a**h***s. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Yeah, you are, and it's pretty common. I would not recommend pursuing a relationship with Mr. Nice. Even though it would be healthy, and inherently good--It's unfair to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in, and you'd just sabotage it anyway. You shouldn't feel guilty, it's just how you work. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 It's probably a phase that you are going through. Well, have your fun and keep in touch with this 'nice guy'. Maybe, in the long run, you two will be together. ~V Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 You find out sometimes that its okay to love someone and not NEED to have them love you back. He just needs to figure that out. Dyermaker and Vivid-29 are right. It doesn't mean you are attracted to a certain type, just that you don't feel what he feels. Let him love you and you try to feel okay about it. you don't have to love him like he does you. But PLEASE...don't give him the "just friends" thing if you do like him. We see sooooo much of that in here. Its better to say a little than that i think. The "friends" thing is like the Kiss of Death! Link to post Share on other sites
Author crysiet Posted December 26, 2003 Author Share Posted December 26, 2003 Crap! I was reading my original post and at the bottom I put "I hope Im only attracted to a**h***s." What I meant to put was that I hope Im NOT only attracted to these type. Its hard though. I think I may want to start looking for nicer guys, not necessarily this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 26, 2003 Share Posted December 26, 2003 give the man a chance. What do you have to lose?? Force urself to give this guy a chance he might just grow on you. Girls dont give nice guys enough of a chance, as a result, they go for idiots and then whine about it. Give the guy 1 month, and get into a real passionite relationship with him. I GUARENTEE YOU. Your perspective will change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author crysiet Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Well I think Dyer might be right. I dont think I could force myself to like (or go out with) him. I still want him in my life, and feel really guilty. I want the guilt to go away. Plus, how cruel would that be for him if he knew I was forcing myself. What would happen if I couldnt go through with it? Link to post Share on other sites
yogi-mon Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 well then dont do it. but dont complain when a bad boy dumps ur ass Link to post Share on other sites
Author crysiet Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Usually I brake up with them. And I said I want the guilt to go away. I didnt say I knew how to make it. Link to post Share on other sites
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