Another break up story?

[xyoungforeternityx]

Me and my boyfriend have just finished and although it happened a few days ago, it's just hit me now what has actually happened.

Before me, he was in a long distance relationship with a girl for three years and she broke it off with him. He met me a few months later. He was very open about what happened and because of this, I wasn't really uncomfortable with him mentioning their break up because he seemed over it.

Everything was fine up until a few weeks ago when he suddenly became really down and not as fun as he used to be. Though we'd still see each other as normal, just one minute he was fine and the next he'd seem down. Whenever I'd ask him about what was wrong, he'd say everything was fine and he was happy and then question whether I was. I wasn't convinced though and realised that I thought maybe he wasn't really over his ex all along and I just didnt want to acknowledge it.

Nothing really changed so I asked him again when I was at his house and he finally admitted that he'd been 'finding things difficult' but was happy and would deal with it.

I knew this meant he wasn't over her even if he didnt say in so many words. Things still remained the same.

I had all these ideas of why he was with me in my head that had been driving me crazy about how maybe I was just his rebound, and he wanted to just return the point he was at with his ex before he finished with him, becuase we moved pretty fast and he was saying how he was falling for me after 3 weeks of meeting. I think I was just caught up in the romance of it all.

I decided to say something last wednesday and he told me that its noting like that and aplogised for how he's been. Although I felt like a huge weight has been lifted and everything I was thinking was out in the open, I still felt down, even though he was acting normal the next day, texting at work etc.

His plans for new years had fell through and there were no more tickets left for the place I was going, so he asked if I wanted to meet up beforehand but because I wasn't convinced about what he had said the night before, I said no because things weren't sorted and I knew I'd be thinking about him all night and not enjoying my night out with my friends. He asked if things were okay between us but I think we both knew they were not.

Just before I was about to go out, he texted me saying I was right about his feeling for his ex but that I was helping him get over her and how much he cares for me etc, and that he is sorry for making me feel so bad.

My night was ruined already. I didn't text back until 12 midnight after he text me 'happy new year' ironically. the next thing my mum calls saying he has turned up at my house cos he thought I'd be back home. We talked at mine and he kept saying how he wanted to be with me and didn't want things to end but I kept saying that he shouldnt be with someone if he isn't over someone else.

The next day he agreed that we wouldn't work at this time but he stills texts me and mentions about if I ever want him, he's there and about if I ever want to meet up for drinks or cinema, then he's always free.

For the past two days its been like this and I'm so confused because I don't want things to end and Ive been so down about it.

As silly as it sounds, it was only today that I realised we're really over when he changed his relationship status to single on facebook. It just didnt seem right, but he still text me afterwards all normal.

Im glad I brought everything up and I feel like we've both been open about everything now, at least I hope he has, and I only thought giving him space and ending things was the right thing to do cos I don't want to be a replacement or second best, even though he insists I'm not.

I don't wanna be all gullible but I feel even worse now than I did thinking all those things.

It doesnt feel like the end but then again I'm all confused and unsure. I can't talk to my friends cos they're all mad at him for making me leave nye early cos he just turned up at my house so out of the blue. They say I should just ignore his texts and calls for a few days and he'll realise how much he misses me and needs me and that'll make him get over his ex quicker too. But I don't wanna play mind games.

I feel like everything apart from this was perfect with us.

I was hoping anyone might have any ideas about what I should do?. I'm rubbish at this stuff.

Sorry for the massive essay.

xxxx