justagoodoleboy Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 There is a girl i like, says shes not wanting anything right now just friendship. I respect that and understand..but I really like her so I dont want to give up completely..but whats chasing compared to just not getting the hint? do women say no to see if a guy is willing to chase?
harmfulsweetz Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I think there must come a time when you draw the line and say enough is enough, she's not interested. Do I like being chased? No. If I've said no, it's no. It's not 'no for now, but if you keep at it, I'll change my mind.'
Kamille Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 I like a guy to chase once I give him the okay to chase. Meaning, he'll ask for my number and I'll give it. He'll ask me out and I will go. He'll lean in to kiss me and I will let him. At the beginning of a relationship 'chasing', for me, means he makes most of the first moves and leads the relationship on, not that he ignores a very clear message that I'm not interested. Given the 'not wanting anything just friendship', I would recommend you opt out of this chase and find someone else who will be more receptive to your advances.
threebyfate Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Most women know guys dread the friendzone, so they won't make reference to friendship, unless they mean it. Don't waste your time chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught.
hopesndreams Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Maybe some women do do this. They want to know how much you are really interested in them. It shows insecurity though. If she says, just friends, that's it, that's all.... then the only thing you can do is back off. Otherwise, you are just playing a twisted game.
Lizzie60 Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 It depends... if I'm interested.. then I will like a little chase.. or better... I like a more 'agressive' guy in that department.. one that will kiss me first, who will demonstrate his affection... If he chases me and I'm not interested ..then.. no I won't be more interested.. it will work the other way...
stillafool Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 There is a girl i like, says shes not wanting anything right now just friendship. I respect that and understand..but I really like her so I dont want to give up completely..but whats chasing compared to just not getting the hint? do women say no to see if a guy is willing to chase? If she has already told you she just wants to be "friends" them do not chase her. She told you the truth. When a girl wants to be chased and caught she would be vague but would definitely give you the "come on and chase" vibe. I think you should take her at her word.
Ilovecake Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 No means NO! It does not mean maybe or try harder.
tami-chan Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Why waste time? if he expresses interest and I like him, I will also express interest.
bac Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 In general, I expect a man to chase me at some reasonable rate. Also, if I say 'No', it can mean anything including 'Never','Yes', 'I do not know", 'I may change my mind later' and other stuff. It depends on the situation and how the situation will develop. If a guy can show me later in time that he can give me what I want, I will be happy to change my mind and say 'Yes'. It also depends on a girl. Some girls are flexible, some are not.
aerogurl87 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I think there is a fine line between being friendzoned and playing hard to get. When your friendzoned it's usually painfully clear. You may get thrown a bone every blue moon but usually your the girl's go to guy on dating advice (ex. why are all guys jerks), your the guy who she stays up talking to late on the phone because she's decidedly single and your a safe alternative to going out, and your the guy who always only gets the friendly hug. Now when a girl is playing hard to get she flirts with you, talks about other guys around you sometimes maybe to make you jealous, sends little flirtatious hints that you have a chance with her if you can keep your game up. And that's the difference. With that said I'm a girl and I like to be chased. It's nice to feel wanted.
babycakes62 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I think it depends. If the woman is saying well I don't know I'm not sure she may want to see if you'll put for the effort. But a flat out No probably means No, sorry .
alphamale Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 do women say no to see if a guy is willing to chase? a woman who is genuinely interested in a boy will never say no
InspiredbyYou Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 NO! Never. Do not chase a girl after she had told you she just wants to be friends, that is her polite and halfassed way of saying I am not interested in dating you. It could be a for a million reasons that have nothing to do with you, but please respect her wishes. If a girl does that to get a the guy to prove something to her, she is only looking for an ego boost anyway. Don't waste your time with women like these either way.
D-Lish Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I wouldn't tell a guy I only wanted to be friends unless I meant it. If I like a guy, I might play a bit mysterious in the beginning. I'll let him contact me first, expect that he gives me notice for dates, say no to a date if I have other plans. But- I will always return calls or answer texts and e-mails within a reasonable amount of time. I just won't ask him out or pursue him. If a girl is saying she only wants to be friends- she means it.
alphamale Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 If a girl is saying she only wants to be friends- she means it. this is one of the few examples where a female actually MEANS what she SAYS
SoulSearch_CO Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 a woman who is genuinely interested in a boy will never say no True! I was not looking for a relationship AT ALL when the current guy I'm dating and I met online (it was not a dating site). I hesitated to say I wasn't looking for a relationship because something in him sparked my interest. I had a feeling that if I had told him I only wanted to be friends, it would've made him back off, which was not what I wanted. I wanted to cautiously check things out before making a decision.
Linainverse Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 this is one of the few examples where a female actually MEANS what she SAYS So true. When someone asks me if everything is okay, of course everything is not okay - people aren't stupid they know when something is up. But me being a stupid female will say "fine" in an aloof, pensive voice and just stare off into the distance. It's a bad habit I think I need to work on..
gypsy_nicky Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 although I'm not a female: you have to go with actions not words. This is hard but doable. If your getting signs of interest non verbally (even if her replies are wishy washy or an uncertain no), push on.
Author justagoodoleboy Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 (edited) Im confused...some say "she's your friend so she'll talk about her guy problems" but others say to get me to chase she'll bring up other guys to make me jealous.. WHICH IS IT? Edited January 5, 2010 by justagoodoleboy
OceanTropic Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 A woman will not say no if she is interested. Women like to be chased not because they like to play games, but because a woman needs to feel wanted. I am currently very interested in a guy, and so far, he has shown some interest but I have been doing all the initiating (kissing, texting) because I am interested, but at the same time I know that if I continue doing this he will begin to think I am annoying or clingy. I think that if a woman wants friendship from the beginning, generally she is not interested. This isn't always true, but from most of my experiences, unless I was interested to begin with, relationships haven't formed from friendships. Did she say straight up that she only wanted friendship? Because alot of the time people become friends just so it can lead to dating.
threebyfate Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Im confused...some say "she's your friend so she'll talk about her guy problems" but others say to get me to chase she'll bring up other guys to make me jealous.. WHICH IS IT?That's up to you to decide, based on the advice given so far, in conjunction with your real life experience of her signals. We can't see your interactions and also, don't know you or the girl. Unless you expect us to have a crystal ball, we're guessing worse than you are, since the advice we've given, is solely based on your personal, very minute interpretation of what's going on between the two of you. Also, what kind of woman do you want? One who tells you one thing and does another? One who doesn't know her own mind or plays games? It's one thing to keep someone at arms-length so you can get to know them, and something else to state friendship upfront, whether this is with the view to elicit pursuit or not.
Author justagoodoleboy Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 Or, did she say she wanted to be friends after you guys dated? Maybe you did something to piss her off. heres a quick low down..ive known her from school/work and got to be friends...well school ended and we fell out of touch. its been a few years but we recently became acquaintances again. Hanging out or texting every so often. Well i let her know I was interested...and she said she was going through this thing with her ex, i guess who is a douche and was trying to get her back (they were pretty serious) and told me all she can give me right now is friendship. I told her its ok i understand and that good things take time and Im in no hurry. and we have since texted eachother, talked on the phone here and there....and im at this point now.
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