More than friends?

[hscrush]

Thanks to HS reunions and Facebook, I recently got back in touch with my old high school crush. We were good friends back then, but never dated. In fact, he used to make me crazy by asking about all my friends, but never taking the next step with me. I didn't have the confidence then to make the first move. He moved out of state when we were still in HS, we wrote for a few years (this was before texting and IMs) then eventually lost touch

 

Fast forward 30-odd years: At our HS reunion a few months ago, we sat together and talked most of the night, and it felt like I'd seen him yesterday: same attraction, same easy conversation. Since then, we've been emailing with one another on almost a daily basis. He's told me his marriage is on the rocks but he doesn't "want to cheat," but also has talked about wanting to meet other women and about his "fantasies." At times, he's flirtatious, other times not at all.

 

I am in an "ok but not great" marriage, but find myself thinking about my hs crush all the time, and getting that feeling of excitement when I get his emails. We've seen each other 2-3 times since the HS reunion, but always with other people (including twice my husband) around -- never alone. When I suggest meeting for coffee or a drink, he always has a reason to say no. In our emails, Crush and I talk about our respective relationships, life situations, kids, etc., on a regular basis.

 

Now to my question: Does this guy have more than a friendly interest in me? Is he just holding back because, as he's said, he "doesn't want to cheat," or is it that I'm not the one? I'm not sure if I would go so far as to do anything with him anyway, but my ego would sure like to know that someone other than my husband could be attracted to me after all these years. Thoughts?

[Flying Goose]

It doesn't matter what he wants. He will never say it unless his marriage actually fails. If you ask, you will risk a great amount - his friendship and/or yours and his married life, all for the sake of appeasing a hungry ego?

 

If you care about anything, don't let it go - not for 30 years, for that's when such questions come to your mind. It illustrates the value of dealing with things when they're imminently relevant. Had the two of you explored those 'feelings' those many years ago, there would be nothing left to ask, no questions, no doubts.

 

He cares enough to talk to you - that should be enough.