Tkgirl

[Samson]

i met "tkgirl" almost everyday this past summer. i'd have a few beers and watch AMC with her, sometimes sharing lunch while she'd pre-tend bar. very slowly we began to exchange more information, and the more i learned about her sensativity, intelligence, likes, and humor, the deeper i fell in love. never any physical contact, i genuinely fell in love with her attitudes toward family, friends, work, school, and life. when i thought she may be feeling the same way, i let her know about my very heavy "baggage." i know, especially now, that it was very bad timing. tkgirl had developed what she later described as a "crush" on me. only in hindsight can i explain that i hadn't been in love for years, missed the feeling, and wanted more. i also never imagined she felt the same way, nor was it necessary that she feel the same way: just being in love again was enough for me. in fact, it was better than enough. avoiding a direct relationship also avoided the stresses of lying and competition with what i imagined would be a huge number of younger others.

 

 

now she's moving away, and i'll probably never see her again. she accused me of being a coward for staying in my empty marriage. i agreed, but also pointed out that it wouldn't be any "braver" to leave 3 collaterally damaged children. the more i consider it the more i feel she was right; the the real reason for hanging on to what i have is because fear of the unknown.

 

wish that i could tell her what i've written here. the last thing i ever wanted was to hurt tk, and i'm feeling horrible if this has been done. i guess this is payback, and lesson learned.

[AllyKat]

You need to work on your marriage (if you are married, I couldnt tell) I mean of course the grass will look greener on the other side, you do not share children with this woman...nor do you live with her.

 

I always think women who look to a married man are really asking for it. I mean, why would you want a "woman" who is ready to have you risk everything for her?

 

I think its awful to ask someone to leave their children, she needs to put your kids first, not last.

 

You need to find out what you want. You need to stay away from her, if she cant understand your genuine interest in your children.

[bark]

now she's moving away, and i'll probably never see her again. she accused me of being a coward for staying in my empty marriage. i agreed, but also pointed out that it wouldn't be any "braver" to leave 3 collaterally damaged children. the more i consider it the more i feel she was right; the the real reason for hanging on to what i have is because fear of the unknown.

 

 

Summer flings, even those unconsummated, still resonate even into middle age. It sounds like you and tkgirl really hit it off. She probably had much that your wife lacked or does not have in abundance.

 

But you did the right and good thing, my man. When you refused to take her "you're a coward" bait, you showed the right stuff. A real man would not abandon his 3 kids--even for greener grass.

 

You showed class, Samson, when you stuck by your little ones. And tkgirl, for all her attributes, did not when she tried to lure you away by questioning your courage. You're home with your kids this Xmas, and that's how it should be.

 

Good man.