JD-Sailor Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 A little background on this first, I've been close friends with this girl for a really long time, for a couple of years now and I've always had feelings for her but things just never eventuated, in the beginning I think she had feelings for me but I wasn't so sure of my own feelings so I just let it slide. Now she's with someone else but just last night something happened; I had some friends over for dinner on Christmas Eve and then after a few drinks some of us were quite intoxicated (me and her included). Then she got really touchy on me, always looking to hug and hold me and even sat on my lap. This isn't the first time that something like this has happened between us, but this time we ended up in another room and we ended up kissing and then my hand went down there and I started fingering her; but then I just stopped. We kept kissing for a bit before we stopped and then we just left the room. Her boyfriend came to pick her up and I woke to find a missed call from really early in the morning... I called her back but she didn't answer so she's probably sleeping as it's still early but I'm very anxious because I'm concerned that I might have really stuffed things up between us because as much as I love her, I don't want the friendship to end because of this. I know everything you do has consequences and I hope this doesn't end badly. Does anyone have any clue what I should do or say when I see her? How does this change things? How much does this change things? Link to post Share on other sites
AllyKat Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 I do not condone cheating. If she didnt want to be with the guy she is with..she would leave him. You are trying to have a "relationship" with someone who seems to want to have her cake and eat it too. I think you have changed your relationship in some ways. I mean, its physical now...now she has cheated on her boyfriend! So not cool. Leave her alone, you need to get someone who is NOT taken. If she wanted you, she would dump this guy. Alcohol clouds judgement...even though you kissed, it may not have meant much to her. Dont get me wrong, it could have as well....you need to talk to her and find out. But, if she says she was wrong doing that...you need to back off, for you own sake. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 what i think i would do is admit that you have feelings for her, but say sorry for disrespecting her committment to her bf. but if she ever feels like it, you'd give you&her a shot, unless already committed yourself. oh, and drink a lil less -yes Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Sometimes the heat of passion makes the strongest people get weak... I would contact her to clarify things, maybe mutual "I'm sorrys?" It could change things a lot, ( she tells her guy and he hunts you down), or it might not change at all, (mutual respect re-develops), or it might go full bore into a fling, LTR, who knows. Honesty is the best policy between the two of you. Try to reach mutual respect again! Link to post Share on other sites
Minus Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 I been there and done that JD, so I know your situation all 2 well. The best way to do this is just to give her some time 2 herself. After a while it would be best to call her up and talk about what happen. When I went through this, I told my friend that even though I think she is very beautiful and a wonderful person, I should have respect her and the commitment with her bf, and that the alcohol effected my judgement on that. Like kat says, its not wise to go after someone who is already taken. Also if you decide to tell her your feelings, dont press them onto her, because then she might feel pressure and will fear that she will lose your friendship with you if she doesnt decide to dump her bf for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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