mjk Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 Oh Yeah, Good going, Remember, when she is talking, let her talk! Many guys make the mistake at first in trying to do all the talking (me included). I'm reading a good book. Kinda corny when John Gray the author refers to guys and girls as Martians and Venusians, but it has very good info. The book is called " Mars and Venus on a Date". Of course you always want to believe some of what you hear, and all of what you see? (doesn't that saying go something like that?) But...I thought the book has some excellent pointers on how woman and men react when they are together. It also helped to define the 5 stages of being together and how it interlinks with your relationship. Hey, the book is less than the cost of a six pack of beer and a burger so why not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 I try to let her do the talking yes^^ I guess that the only thing that bothers me is the fact that i cant keep thinking that im imagining stuff thats not there, that shes just talking to me like any other guy, that it just me thats placing any importance in our conversations. That it means nothing to her really Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 I guess it depends on which question is most important to you. There's 'does she like me, too?' and there's 'would she be glad if I liked her?'. Sometimes the second one precedes the first. Sometimes people get by just fine if someone is pleased to be liked by them. Others must be liked back with the same intensity. She obviously enjoys talking to you - or she wouldn't do it. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 Argh, she just logged on.... Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 And she's about to say 'hi' and wish you a Merry Christmas Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 2 sec from that she logged on, she did say hi^^ She said merry christmas yesterday though^^ Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 So she's thinking of you on Christmas. This is good Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 I guess, she not disliking the idea that i like her, thats a good start^^ Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 Exactly. Be of good cheer. Things look good for you so be happy about that! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 Im trying to be happy, and that not so hard when shes on^^ Its when were not talking that the fact that im a born pessimist shows, cuz somehow it all seems to good to be true As if, god made a mistake and accidently gave me some good luck, im just enjoying the time i have until he realizes he messed up^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 Oh.. Hmm.... i dont know if this means anything but... We were talking about how to send the drawing im making for her, and how things get mutilated in the mail, so i joked and told her id buy a trainticket for the drawing and that way get it to her, that led to the possibilty of theft, so i said "Ok then! Ill take the train, holding the drawing and growl at anyone that even looks like hes gonna dent/steal it and hand it over to you personally" That, she thought, was a great plan and how we should do it, so we agreed on that she may have just been joking, but i had to post it^^ Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 25, 2003 Share Posted December 25, 2003 People are amazing. Some people don't get it when the people they're interested in are telling them they are interested back and others don't get it when the opposite is true! I expect you two will be an item one day fairly soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 25, 2003 Author Share Posted December 25, 2003 She hasnt in any way told me shes interested^^ And becoming an item... now thats a nice dream^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 26, 2003 Author Share Posted December 26, 2003 I just wanted to say thanks^^ For all the great advice, i have noticed that i can talk more freely to her now For instance, when she asked how my day has been, i told her that it had been great, but that it had taken a turn for the better at around 17:01:35, she wondered why and i asked her "Well, what did you do at that time", and she soon figured out that she said hi at about that time^^ And became really happy, and then i told her that my jaw hurt, well, i had been smiling for two hours straight, they really were aching a bit^^ There was a really nice mood yesterday^^ Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 26, 2003 Author Share Posted December 26, 2003 Well... I got the chilly treatment today... It was a agonizing hour of me trying to start a conversation and her answering extremely short... This is beginning to seem hopeless, ah well, thanks for trying to help^^ I appreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 you know, she really does seem interested in you. Maybe she just had a bad day. I know I'm the worst on MSN when I'm not having a good day. Keep at it for a little while stil..from what you've posted, it is quite obvious she has SOME interest .. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 I'm not sure if i can take that again, it was really awful, i just felt as if i was troubling her, I'm thinking that maybe she is just too kind to tell me to leave her alone. Maybe its for the best if i do leave her alone, i really would not wanna force my presence on someone who does not want it, I'm not that kind of person, no matter how much i would like to see us as an item someday, its just not worth a repeat of today. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 Please do not do her thinking for her. Do as you have been doing (though maybe lighten up on the compliments a teeny bit) and let her make up her own mind and decide for herself. How can you be 'imposing' on somebody who IM's you? As Sarah said, people have moods for reasons other than you. In the words of a wise fellow I know; you worry too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Dave1234 Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 well in yon quest to find out why people can be so cryptic i will tell you that it not all the time involves codes and things like laser-beams and electro-magnets for example &&&&&&&&&& (*_&jkj there is a boy who i dave am cognizzant of and his name is ruben and is aither puto-rican or maybe an arab or maybe a portu-geese but this is beside the point his nick-name is "zipper-boy" and to this i will ytell you that we need not worry what this means, his name is just zipper boy alas good bye zipper-boy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Dave1234...what? Moimene maybe... but i just hate the idea of being a nuisance, especially when it is a girl.... i mean, im starting to think that she said a lot of stuff that i misinterpreted somehow, and that i on those things she have said have based a completely wrong idea of what is going on, and that i in fact, am just imagining things Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 impression 1: you have low self-esteem impression 2: you see this girl as being above you (why? because she shows interest in you? you deserve it dude!) impression 3: you spend alot of time in the future and the past, but not in the here and now impression 4: the girl likes you conclusion: Change your thinking. You can't put yourself below this girl or else you will never be yourself around her. Think of yourself as equal if not higher than her, and do what comes naturally. Don't plan things out so much, take them as they come. Rushing this is coming from the fact that you've invested alot of yourself in this situation= that is the future. you are too concentrated on the future. Take a step back and see it for what it is - a little dot on your life experiences map, having very little consequence unless you force it to. At the moment, your low self-esteem means that the consequences seem huge - if she rejects you it means you are not worthy. THIS IS NOT TRUE. people get rejected daily, the idea is to realise that the person who rejects you has been rejected themselves many times and will do in the future. You are worthy, you don't have to see yourself below others and it is not healthy to. Why am i saying all this? i have exactly the same problem as you, and you know how ****ed up it is that i can give you advice but can't take it myself? mm.. good luck buddy, just take a step back and realise you're da man Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Ill see how things are tomorrow..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Thanks subtitled. after reading that a couple of times, im starting to see this in another way, maybe it isnt _that_ important, but it still feels important^^ I do have low selfesteem, but that has a history, and its not easy to shrug off... I guess, ill just take things as they come from now on. If she want anything from this, i guess shell show that, wont she? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Enigma Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 Im starting to notice something... Our conversations arent as filled as they were before... And im starting to think that if we continue in the track were going now, everything will just get weaker... and weaker.. until it disappears Please, what should i do.. Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 i think you got too excited about this too soon... your expectations were set really high, you thought wow this is perfect! and then it shifts slightly and it appears to be 'disappearing'. imagine you were just taking this as a fun little game, or some light entertainment whilst you were online, and didnt think about it at all when offline.... do you think you'd still be wondering if it was getting weaker and weaker? maybe she's just thinking it's a bit of fun/amusement whilst she's online, or maybe she's told herself not to think of it as anything more because these internet relationships are often dodgy. what advice could i give... try to forget about it. about her. for as long as you can. don't go online for a while, take a day or two off from talking to her. this will give you time to go out, see your friends, get some perspective and realise you've only been talking to this woman for 2 weeks and she could be an absolute horror in real life you survived fine without her before you ever spoke to her, so if it does just 'disappear' you'll be fine once again. this is a no lose situation, unless you let your low self-esteem win. so just take a step back, dont talk to her for a day/two, try not to think about her. do it for a week if possible. she isnt' going anywhere. just think, if you come back after a week, and she's thinking "he's barring me off.." and then you come online and say hi all nice and chirpy, talk about what you've been up to, she will rid herself of that thought, things will be back to where they were except you've given yourself some room to move, a bit of perspective and it might not feel so intense. try it. i did it once with a person in real life - left them alone for a week, the next time i saw them, it was much better. Link to post Share on other sites
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