dazzle22 Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 I live in CA too. Do you earn more than she does? If so, LOOK OUT. You are going to have to "support her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed" and you do NOT want to make this any more adversarial. She has already made noises about you not getting 50/50 custody, so that is low. Then the other noises that can be made...he is abusive, and then the MOTHER of all accusations...I think he was trying to abuse one of the children...wouldn't put it past this woman. Don't add more drama at this point. Take care of your own ship, and THEN mail out the video... Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 PS. It is not illegal to monitor your OWN computer. Only if it was hers. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted January 9, 2010 Share Posted January 9, 2010 i WOULD WANT TO KNOW IT HURTS WORSE NOT KNOWING BUT FEELING SOMETHING IS WRONG BUT YOU CANT FIX IT.MAYBE SHE WOULD HELP YOU I WOULD. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dmchatster Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 I live in CA too. Do you earn more than she does? If so, LOOK OUT. You are going to have to "support her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed" and you do NOT want to make this any more adversarial. ... I guess I should consider myself lucky. We're both high earners, and I currently make a bit more than her, but in two weeks she starts a new job where she'll be earning more than me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dmchatster Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 PS. It is not illegal to monitor your OWN computer. Only if it was hers. I've heard that from a couple of other people, but unfortunately I don't think that's the case in my situation (believe me I *wish* it was.) Based on my research, and what I've found on a few sites, I think my use of the keylogger to read my wife's email - even though it confirmed that she's having an affair - is an invasion of privacy. It would likely be hard to prosecute, but that doesn't mean my STBX wouldn't try - which is why I prefer to not even make the emails part of the equation when potentially discussing evidence with the OMW. Link to post Share on other sites
Joe Normal Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I'm new to this site, so forgive me for not knowing all the abbreviations. Here's my situation: after years of being in a loveless marriage - where we stayed together for the kids - in October I found out that my wife was having an affair with a married neighbor down the street. I confronted her about it and she denied it, but the result has been that we're now planning on moving forward with a divorce. So my question is whether I should tell the BF's wife. They have no kids, and the affair is still ongoing (even in the BF's house when the wife is out of town on business), so I can't shake the feeling that I should tell her. I don't have plans to tell her, but I have to confess that it's very hard not to - since I know that if the roles were reversed my STBX would probably be telling everyone. The couple of people I've asked have been emphatic that I shouldn't tell the wife, and I suspect that'll be the general consensus here - but I am interested in hearing the range of opinions. Definitely tell him. He is at risk to STDs, and is being lied to in a horrific scale. If in doubt, ask yourself this - if he had known your wife was cheating, would you have wanted him to tell you? Or would you have preferred he smiled at you when he met you, then laughed at you behind your back, without letting you know. Treat him as you would like to be treated if you were in his shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts