How do I get my power back?

[thepulse27]

First I’d like to say thank you to brokenhearted_girl and banana boat, just knowing that other people feel the same as me is a comfort, and reading your posts has really given me a lift. I was hoping I could join this discussion as I could really use some support right now from people who understand what I’m going through.

 

I am clearly crushed and unable to function. Knowing that my ex is not feeling any pain or guilt is killing me.

 

I know exactly how you feel. It’s been one month today since my fiancé tore my life in half. It would have been four years next month. I’ve been a mess since then, everytime I think I’ve turned a corner the next day brings me right back down.

 

But last night I sorted some things out in my head that made me feel a little bit better, and then reading this today has finally convinced me to sort myself out. Holding on to all this pain and confusion is not going to win her back, and it’s not going to make me happy. She doesn’t deserve me, and I have thought that before, I just loved her too much for it to make a difference.

 

CaliGuy I can’t thank you enough for your page on second chances, it made a lot of sense. I was already doing some of it, but realizing that I have to let go and move on, even if I want her back, was so liberating. I’m doing it all except the no contact, not yet anyway. I have finally stopped pining and trying to find out what she is doing, but I will wait for one more conversation before I stop contacting her. This is because I need some answers, there are still things she hasn’t told me, and she will do so in the next few days. I know that hearing them is going to be almost more painful than I can bear, and will probably put me right back to where I was a few days ago, but I need to understand to be able to move on. I hope this makes sense to anyone reading this.

Again thank you all for finally convincing me that one day this pain will be gone, and I will be happy again.

[bananaboat11]

The Pulse - Thank you.

 

I wish I had more time to respond.. and I will later on in the evening (EST -5 for me) as I'm stepping out in a bit, but I will say this... I may only be 25, but I've seen and heard and read and observed and analyzed MANY relationships in the last 2 -3 years. Unfortunately, I've suffered 2 heartbreaks... one of which (the non toxic relationship previous to this last toxic relationship - of whom I dated for 8 months) has recently told me she isn't looking for a relationship with me right now... she may never.. she may in the future. She doesn't know, BUT she feels we are soul mates / our souls are connected and she really cares about me.

 

I told her I'm heartsick and can't deal w/ it right now.. so we're doing the friendship thing. I learned... whether you did the hurting.. they did the hurting... you broke up.. they broke up... clearly there WAS a problem. But you know what.. BOTH the dumper and dumpee BOTH experience pain. Unless you have serious mental illness there is A LOT going through your head... and I'm quite positive 89-95% of all dumper's SOMEHOW (for whatever reason - good or bad) try to get back with the dumpee, unless the dumpee breaks the NC and pushes the ex away again)...

 

...the thing is.. the dumpee has to know to move forward. The dumpee needs to be stronger. The dumper usually does not hurt right away... but it sets in. I'm sure of it. Take this time to reflect on how amazing you are... learn from the relationship. Don't dwell on what you did or didn't do... if you did it all over again (and some people get a second chance, and take it... and very few of these DO work out).. i'm sure the SAME hurt will be endured... again. Unless BOTH parties commit to a serious endeavor to make it work...

 

relationships are hard work, dedicaiton, perseverance, companionship, trust, honesty, infatuation, and all those amazing qualities we seek... but they're never perfect. It's taking the insecurities and weaknesses of your partner and sizing them up and being COMPLETELY 100% ok with it.

 

and vice versa...

 

Be strong. NC! Good luck =)

 

ps - BHG is amazing.

Edited January 9, 2010 by bananaboat11

[Brokenhearted_girl]

First I’d like to say thank you to brokenhearted_girl and banana boat, just knowing that other people feel the same as me is a comfort, and reading your posts has really given me a lift. I was hoping I could join this discussion as I could really use some support right now from people who understand what I’m going through.

 

I am clearly crushed and unable to function. Knowing that my ex is not feeling any pain or guilt is killing me.

 

I know exactly how you feel. It’s been one month today since my fiancé tore my life in half. It would have been four years next month. I’ve been a mess since then, everytime I think I’ve turned a corner the next day brings me right back down.

 

But last night I sorted some things out in my head that made me feel a little bit better, and then reading this today has finally convinced me to sort myself out. Holding on to all this pain and confusion is not going to win her back, and it’s not going to make me happy. She doesn’t deserve me, and I have thought that before, I just loved her too much for it to make a difference.

 

CaliGuy I can’t thank you enough for your page on second chances, it made a lot of sense. I was already doing some of it, but realizing that I have to let go and move on, even if I want her back, was so liberating. I’m doing it all except the no contact, not yet anyway. I have finally stopped pining and trying to find out what she is doing, but I will wait for one more conversation before I stop contacting her. This is because I need some answers, there are still things she hasn’t told me, and she will do so in the next few days. I know that hearing them is going to be almost more painful than I can bear, and will probably put me right back to where I was a few days ago, but I need to understand to be able to move on. I hope this makes sense to anyone reading this.

Again thank you all for finally convincing me that one day this pain will be gone, and I will be happy again.

 

Hi Pulse!

 

You know I have a lot of unanswered questions as well and I have accepted that no matter how I try, I really won't get all the answers that I need to hear. What I see and feel is loud and clear, he's gone and there is nothing else I can do to make him come back. And I don't want him back anymore either. I just want to move on with my life and accept that that he was a chapter in my life and it's best to keep it that way. I admire you for still wanting to know the answers. I am not that brave. I feel that I can easily keep it together if I don't hear from him, see him on his facebook, etc. I have deleted him on all my personal websites and blocked him on my email. For me no contact has worked tremendously well with my previous breakups, however I recognize that different people deal with their heartbreak differently. So keep on posting, and chin up. Hopefully in a few months, we would be feeling better and on our road to recovery.

[HLP234]

The Pulse - Thank you.

 

I wish I had more time to respond.. and I will later on in the evening (EST -5 for me) as I'm stepping out in a bit, but I will say this... I may only be 25, but I've seen and heard and read and observed and analyzed MANY relationships in the last 2 -3 years. Unfortunately, I've suffered 2 heartbreaks... one of which (the non toxic relationship previous to this last toxic relationship - of whom I dated for 8 months) has recently told me she isn't looking for a relationship with me right now... she may never.. she may in the future. She doesn't know, BUT she feels we are soul mates / our souls are connected and she really cares about me.

 

I told her I'm heartsick and can't deal w/ it right now.. so we're doing the friendship thing. I learned... whether you did the hurting.. they did the hurting... you broke up.. they broke up... clearly there WAS a problem. But you know what.. BOTH the dumper and dumpee BOTH experience pain. Unless you have serious mental illness there is A LOT going through your head... and I'm quite positive 89-95% of all dumper's SOMEHOW (for whatever reason - good or bad) try to get back with the dumpee, unless the dumpee breaks the NC and pushes the ex away again)...

 

...the thing is.. the dumpee has to know to move forward. The dumpee needs to be stronger. The dumper usually does not hurt right away... but it sets in. I'm sure of it. Take this time to reflect on how amazing you are... learn from the relationship. Don't dwell on what you did or didn't do... if you did it all over again (and some people get a second chance, and take it... and very few of these DO work out).. i'm sure the SAME hurt will be endured... again. Unless BOTH parties commit to a serious endeavor to make it work...

 

 

You couldn't of said it any better. I always wonder if my ex who just all of a sudden left without saying anything will realize and feel bad at all. After reading your post, I have noticed that it is true about both people hurting. She may not hurt now since she has someone else, but later I figure she will.

 

Not that it will matter anyway, like you said its rare that second chances work out. I just hope by the time she contacts me I will be able to move on or already moved on. As much as I love her, her emotional instability is not something I can deal with right now.

 

I hope to be just as strong and not look back even if she ever says anything..which I don't think she will anyway because I'm sure the reason she has removed me from all her sites and everything has to do with her feeling guilty or bad about she did.

 

If I were here and did the same thing, I would not want to face the other person at all. As the dumped, we hope that the other person realizes their mistakes even if it means not taking them back or them talking to you ever again. You just have to hope they do whenever the time comes, and be strong enough to figure yourself out in the meantime.

[bananaboat11]

You couldn't of said it any better. I always wonder if my ex who just all of a sudden left without saying anything will realize and feel bad at all. After reading your post, I have noticed that it is true about both people hurting. She may not hurt now since she has someone else, but later I figure she will.

 

Not that it will matter anyway, like you said its rare that second chances work out. I just hope by the time she contacts me I will be able to move on or already moved on. As much as I love her, her emotional instability is not something I can deal with right now.

 

I hope to be just as strong and not look back even if she ever says anything..which I don't think she will anyway because I'm sure the reason she has removed me from all her sites and everything has to do with her feeling guilty or bad about she did.

 

If I were here and did the same thing, I would not want to face the other person at all. As the dumped, we hope that the other person realizes their mistakes even if it means not taking them back or them talking to you ever again. You just have to hope they do whenever the time comes, and be strong enough to figure yourself out in the meantime.

 

...most of them come back. The best thing we can do for ourselves? Not be there. I hate to say it, but right now.. in this very moment, we have to be selfish as they once were. For our own sake and peace of mind. We all search for that small measure of happiness.. and I'm beginning to learn.. it comes from within. That's where I found my closure.

 

Good luck to you =)

[myhearthurtsbadly]

Bannana is right about most of them coming back, however unfortunately most of the time it is for them to know you are still there waiting for them. Banana read the update in my no contact post, you will not be impressed with me..

[Brokenhearted_girl]

I just wanted to say hey to everyone. Hopefully you guys are doing better than I am. I've been crying my eyes out again. Breakups are tough! I feel like I've been crying for the whole week now. I'm soooo looking forward to talking to a therapist on Tuesday. I have to get my head straight. I am starting to feel really pathetic.

[bananaboat11]

I just wanted to say hey to everyone. Hopefully you guys are doing better than I am. I've been crying my eyes out again. Breakups are tough! I feel like I've been crying for the whole week now. I'm soooo looking forward to talking to a therapist on Tuesday. I have to get my head straight. I am starting to feel really pathetic.

 

 

Hun, you must stay strong. I know how you feel.. I'm having huge ups and downs and it's been 3 months, but since seeing the FB thing... but you know what? I said **** it. I blocked them all. The ex.. the mutual.. the ex's friends I used to know... it's all a balancing game.

 

You need to recognize something, BHG. He was with you... CLEARLY there must be MANY GREAT qualities about you. And one day... he left. That tells me he is the problem. Not you. I would hold that a compliment to you.

 

I shed a single tear as I write this to you.. and I don't feel pathetic as a typical alpha male... my heart feels for you. I sit here and give you my ears... my shoulder. DO NOT repent.. do not feel remorse... but do grieve, sweetie. If it'll make it easier. there have been nights that I have been unable to sleep... and NEITHER of us deserve this. Do not question yourself... not for one second. The conversations we've held ... when you are at your weakest point emotionally... tell one a lot about an individual's structure. You're well mannered, poignant, respectful, courteous, intelligent.. and I'm sure you are quite attractive on the outside as well. Otherwise you wouldn't have attracted such an ******* - and *******s are usually shallow.

 

Sweetie, please, for me.. lift your chin up and dry your eyes.. give us all a smile.

 

-BB

 

PS - if you want to talk on AIM and you can trust me enough.. shoot me an e-mail with your AIM contact to Robby31784[@]gmail.com w/out the [ ] clearly... and i'll be happy to talk. i'm home @ my parents for the weekend nd all my old time friends have moved away.. i'm BORED silly =/

Edited January 10, 2010 by bananaboat11

[Zeegagge]

Brokenhearted, I have to say you're story sounds amazingly similar to mine in so many ways. Only real difference is that I'm a guy and I'm the one that got dumped. I feel I am working my way through my grief in a similar fashion to you. It's tough. It's so tough. There's this broken down car parked in front of my house (ok it's mine, lol) and I've sat in it and cried for hours several times. Me, a grown man, ya know?

 

You write well and I can tell you're intelligent, and sound like someone who's probably a lot of fun! I'm sure you'll get that attitude back in you real soon. There's a million guys (one right here) who would love to have a girl like you and some of those guys are going to make you so happy you'll never even think about your ex!

 

If you wanna chat I'm on AIM as Hoopiguy42 I really feel like we're going through a very similar situation and could at least vent. Kill some time either way.

[HLP234]

Just hang in there and you will be fine. I haven't been getting better myself either..every day is just a drag. The more you cry, the worse it gets some time. Just keep your head up and tell yourself you will be ok.

 

Even if you have to feel like you are mad at them, hate them for now, and pay no attention to what they have done. I don't literally mean hate them, because that's a strong word..but just as long as you say to yourself what they did was wrong and I deserve way better than that.

 

It will help you forget them and move on a little easier. One day you will wake up and it will be over, you won't be thinking about them. Its not going to go away little by little, but rather all at once. Just think about this and how awesome that day will feel. I can't wait for it to get here.

[skydiveaddict]

I just wanted to say hey to everyone. Hopefully you guys are doing better than I am. I've been crying my eyes out again. Breakups are tough! I feel like I've been crying for the whole week now. I'm soooo looking forward to talking to a therapist on Tuesday. I have to get my head straight. I am starting to feel really pathetic.

 

 

 

You are NOT pathetic! You're just heartbroken. so am I right now. Just went for a night jump over lagerman reservoir (that's in colorado) -41 deg @ 24000 ft. Get your mind off that worthless piece of s..t Do something for yourself. You are worth more than he'll ever know.

[Truthfulanswers]

If you are not forgiving yourself the question is why not?

 

Only you can do that... so do it today. What is in the past is in the past and if you ask to be forgiven with honest intentions then it's time to also forgive yourself.

 

I'm not sure what you want from your relationship or even if you have broken up as you were not very clear...

 

I do hope you forgive yourself though as you really should.

[thepulse27]

Brokenhearted you are not pathetic, not in any way. We all know how it feels to have your whole world fall apart. Crying when it gets too much is the only way we can let it out. If we try and hold it in you will go numb, and you won’t feel anything at all. I know right now that sounds like an improvement, but trust me its not. You're better than that, and he’s not going to do that to you. So cry when the pain feels too much, and you’ll be ready to smile in those moments when you see light at the end of the tunnel. And there are going to be more and more of those moments, I promise.

Losing her, trying to heal and move on is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to do it. We all are.

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Hun, you must stay strong. I know how you feel.. I'm having huge ups and downs and it's been 3 months, but since seeing the FB thing... but you know what? I said **** it. I blocked them all. The ex.. the mutual.. the ex's friends I used to know... it's all a balancing game.

 

You need to recognize something, BHG. He was with you... CLEARLY there must be MANY GREAT qualities about you. And one day... he left. That tells me he is the problem. Not you. I would hold that a compliment to you.

 

I shed a single tear as I write this to you.. and I don't feel pathetic as a typical alpha male... my heart feels for you. I sit here and give you my ears... my shoulder. DO NOT repent.. do not feel remorse... but do grieve, sweetie. If it'll make it easier. there have been nights that I have been unable to sleep... and NEITHER of us deserve this. Do not question yourself... not for one second. The conversations we've held ... when you are at your weakest point emotionally... tell one a lot about an individual's structure. You're well mannered, poignant, respectful, courteous, intelligent.. and I'm sure you are quite attractive on the outside as well. Otherwise you wouldn't have attracted such an ******* - and *******s are usually shallow.

 

Sweetie, please, for me.. lift your chin up and dry your eyes.. give us all a smile.

 

-BB

 

PS - if you want to talk on AIM and you can trust me enough.. shoot me an e-mail with your AIM contact to Robby31784[@]gmail.com w/out the [ ] clearly... and i'll be happy to talk. i'm home @ my parents for the weekend nd all my old time friends have moved away.. i'm BORED silly =/

 

Hi Banana!

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate what you said to not repent and not feel remorse. Lately that's all I have been doing. I have been wondering about the things I could have done better as his gf, but I've come to the realization that at that time, I gave him my all. Maybe it wasn't everything that he would have expected from a gf but to my credit, I can say that I loved him and was faithful to him until the end.

 

Last night was a very rough night for me. I posted my message on this thread then cried myself to sleep. And I didn't sleep much either, every couple of hours I woke up and memories of him would crop up all of a sudden. I even had a dream about him, we were talking about the breakup over the phone but he was not being responsive. I guess that's how it will play out in real life as well if it does happen.

 

You're right, he is an ******* and a self-serving coward. For once, I would love to meet and fall in love with a man who can be faithful in every sense of the word (physical and emotional fidelity). Sometimes I hate to say it but it seems like honesty and fidelity have been long forgotten in relationships. If only my ex would have been honest about his feelings, I would have had a better, much clearer view of my relationship. But all this is water under the bridge now.

 

While in my relationship, I used to ask myself why he wouldn't consider committing to me for marriage. I have a lot to offer, and won't even depend on him financially since I have a good paying job, I pay my own bills and live responsibly. I am in every essence a good girl. I can be funny too but lately it's just been doom and gloom for me.

 

As I sit here, analyzing what went wrong, I realize that if a person really wants out, every little reason, every little weakness, no matter how small they may be, can be magnified a thousand times just so they can justify to themselves that it's the right thing to do. My ex had somebody else lined up to fall back on. All he needed was for me to show my weakness, my insecurity. I don't know when he started to become an enemy. All I know is that there will be a time in the future when none of this would matter and yes, I will smile again, laugh and not feel like something in my life is missing.

 

Sigh... Thanks Banana for always coming to my rescue. I hope you don't grow tired of hearing me rant. I actually do not have aim but I have added your email on my contacts and will send you emails every now and then.

 

For us and for every single person who is hurting right now, I wish that 2010 will be the year that we turn our lives around and find our happy selves again!

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Banana,

 

One more thing! I'm proud of you for choosing yourself and your recovery when you blocked your ex's and mutual friends' FB! You're on the right track! Thats how you get your power back !

[bananaboat11]

Hi Banana!

 

Thank you so much! I appreciate what you said to not repent and not feel remorse. Lately that's all I have been doing. I have been wondering about the things I could have done better as his gf, but I've come to the realization that at that time, I gave him my all. Maybe it wasn't everything that he would have expected from a gf but to my credit, I can say that I loved him and was faithful to him until the end.

 

Last night was a very rough night for me. I posted my message on this thread then cried myself to sleep. And I didn't sleep much either, every couple of hours I woke up and memories of him would crop up all of a sudden. I even had a dream about him, we were talking about the breakup over the phone but he was not being responsive. I guess that's how it will play out in real life as well if it does happen.

 

You're right, he is an ******* and a self-serving coward. For once, I would love to meet and fall in love with a man who can be faithful in every sense of the word (physical and emotional fidelity). Sometimes I hate to say it but it seems like honesty and fidelity have been long forgotten in relationships. If only my ex would have been honest about his feelings, I would have had a better, much clearer view of my relationship. But all this is water under the bridge now.

 

While in my relationship, I used to ask myself why he wouldn't consider committing to me for marriage. I have a lot to offer, and won't even depend on him financially since I have a good paying job, I pay my own bills and live responsibly. I am in every essence a good girl. I can be funny too but lately it's just been doom and gloom for me.

 

As I sit here, analyzing what went wrong, I realize that if a person really wants out, every little reason, every little weakness, no matter how small they may be, can be magnified a thousand times just so they can justify to themselves that it's the right thing to do. My ex had somebody else lined up to fall back on. All he needed was for me to show my weakness, my insecurity. I don't know when he started to become an enemy. All I know is that there will be a time in the future when none of this would matter and yes, I will smile again, laugh and not feel like something in my life is missing.

 

Sigh... Thanks Banana for always coming to my rescue. I hope you don't grow tired of hearing me rant. I actually do not have aim but I have added your email on my contacts and will send you emails every now and then.

 

For us and for every single person who is hurting right now, I wish that 2010 will be the year that we turn our lives around and find our happy selves again!

 

 

Hun, don't stress it. You seem too good to be true. But that's what I love about this e-friendship

 

That's my public spam e-mail and I don't check it ... so in the next few days shoot me an e-mail and I'll drop you my 2 private e-mails (university & my private gmail). If you ever need to talk.. let me know. I'm happy to converse... you are a beautiful, strong, courageous woman.. who I know is smart, independent, and so much better than the man you were with. In my eyes, he does NOT deserve you.

 

Men like the ones on these boards are few and far in between.. and even that... some of us put on fronts. Men are VERY much more insecure these days with the equality among men & women and won't admit it... that's why now more than ever men care more about penis size... it's an insecurity thing...

 

personally, I used to a non-arrogant confident... and I miss that feeling. I used to be the alpha male that brought confidence to people around me and I just don't seem to do that anymore... so thank you for listening to me

 

Wish I could meet a woman like you... instead of all these insecure, selfish, immature, emotionally insecure girls.. my last girlfriend ( or rebound as I'm beginning to believe ) was 23.. and acted like she was 19 or 20...

 

Hmm... thank you hun I'll stop ranting. I'm glad I joined these forums. I see you, Serena, LD, DP, Penelope and am brought to realize (aside from my real life friends who are around me)... there are true good people out there... so thank you. The reason I give my e-mail is I'm on so much onw b/c I've been home w/ my parents for the week w/ nothing to do and i've been sick (so no gym)... but once I'm back at my place.. I don't know how much I'll be able to post

 

thank you so much for your insight, your heart, your smiles... it lifts me up.

[bananaboat11]

BHG - please.. call me Rob.

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Just hang in there and you will be fine. I haven't been getting better myself either..every day is just a drag. The more you cry, the worse it gets some time. Just keep your head up and tell yourself you will be ok.

 

Even if you have to feel like you are mad at them, hate them for now, and pay no attention to what they have done. I don't literally mean hate them, because that's a strong word..but just as long as you say to yourself what they did was wrong and I deserve way better than that.

 

It will help you forget them and move on a little easier. One day you will wake up and it will be over, you won't be thinking about them. Its not going to go away little by little, but rather all at once. Just think about this and how awesome that day will feel. I can't wait for it to get here.

 

I can't wait for that day to come as well when I can wake up and not feel pain, when I can get my 8 hours sleep, when I can say to myself, what was I thinking crying over him? Right now all I can do is wait for that day to become a reality. I am choosing to feel the pain instead of numbing them through rebounds, breaking NC or drinking as I have done in my past breakups.

 

How are you holding up? I agree sometimes crying makes me feel worse. That's why I am going to talk to a therapist too, maybe it might help me out a bit. I might be clinically depressed.

[Brokenhearted_girl]

If you are not forgiving yourself the question is why not?

 

Only you can do that... so do it today. What is in the past is in the past and if you ask to be forgiven with honest intentions then it's time to also forgive yourself.

 

I'm not sure what you want from your relationship or even if you have broken up as you were not very clear...

 

I do hope you forgive yourself though as you really should.

 

Your message was spot on. I can't seem to forgive myself for my shortcomings in this relationship. I was raised to always give my 100% and to compromise my needs and wants because I was the firstborn and my siblings always came first. I was brought up to always settle. I now recognize this issue affects my relationships and how I deal with them. I have to learn to love myself and say it's ok, I'm human, I make mistakes but that doesn't make me unlovable. I think it is only through self love and forgiving myself that I can move past this.

[HLP234]

I can't wait for that day to come as well when I can wake up and not feel pain, when I can get my 8 hours sleep, when I can say to myself, what was I thinking crying over him? Right now all I can do is wait for that day to become a reality. I am choosing to feel the pain instead of numbing them through rebounds, breaking NC or drinking as I have done in my past breakups.

 

How are you holding up? I agree sometimes crying makes me feel worse. That's why I am going to talk to a therapist too, maybe it might help me out a bit. I might be clinically depressed.

 

I wish I could get 8 hours of sleep too. For some reason I was alright, or so I thought but today I woke up with a little bit of tears, dunno why..I've never actually cried before but I have no clue why I woke up like that.

 

I've pretty much talked to every one of my friends and they tell me to just get over it, like its so easy or something. All it takes is time but time doesn't make pain go away like that. I'm more upset and depressed about how it happened rather than that it ended. I knew this "break" would not end good, but damn I would not expect her to just abandon me without even letting me know she made up her mind or whatever.

 

NC is not a problem, I will never talk to her again and I know that very well. Carrying all the pain and burden is the hardest part no matter how much I tell myself I'm getting over it and moving on.

 

Don't feel bad or pathetic, you are not that, you're just hurt. I'm gonna spend the night in AC with some friends, although its not like no matter how many times I go out and try to enjoy myself, as soon as its over, it just comes back another day.

 

I hate how one day you will feel fine or so it seems and then it just comes all the way back, its like a curse.

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Hun, don't stress it. You seem too good to be true. But that's what I love about this e-friendship

 

That's my public spam e-mail and I don't check it ... so in the next few days shoot me an e-mail and I'll drop you my 2 private e-mails (university & my private gmail). If you ever need to talk.. let me know. I'm happy to converse... you are a beautiful, strong, courageous woman.. who I know is smart, independent, and so much better than the man you were with. In my eyes, he does NOT deserve you.

 

Men like the ones on these boards are few and far in between.. and even that... some of us put on fronts. Men are VERY much more insecure these days with the equality among men & women and won't admit it... that's why now more than ever men care more about penis size... it's an insecurity thing...

 

personally, I used to a non-arrogant confident... and I miss that feeling. I used to be the alpha male that brought confidence to people around me and I just don't seem to do that anymore... so thank you for listening to me

 

Wish I could meet a woman like you... instead of all these insecure, selfish, immature, emotionally insecure girls.. my last girlfriend ( or rebound as I'm beginning to believe ) was 23.. and acted like she was 19 or 20...

 

Hmm... thank you hun I'll stop ranting. I'm glad I joined these forums. I see you, Serena, LD, DP, Penelope and am brought to realize (aside from my real life friends who are around me)... there are true good people out there... so thank you. The reason I give my e-mail is I'm on so much onw b/c I've been home w/ my parents for the week w/ nothing to do and i've been sick (so no gym)... but once I'm back at my place.. I don't know how much I'll be able to post

 

thank you so much for your insight, your heart, your smiles... it lifts me up.

 

Hi Rob!

 

Thank YOU! Your posts are very uplifting.

 

I got the book "It's called a breakup beause it's broken". Have you read it? It's a good read.

 

So how's your Sunday so far? Mine was good, I went out with my mom and Sis, had a margarita and Mexican food for lunch then went shopping. I actually felt like my normal self. I saw a glimpse of me and it felt good. This is the first weekend since my breakup. It was tough but I survived. Thank God! But I know there will still be a lot of ups and downs. However, It's good to know that I can rely on myself and being single isn't all that scary.

 

Anyhow, I'll send you an email so we can keep in touch. Thanks again!

[bananaboat11]

Hi Rob!

 

Thank YOU! Your posts are very uplifting.

 

I got the book "It's called a breakup beause it's broken". Have you read it? It's a good read.

 

So how's your Sunday so far? Mine was good, I went out with my mom and Sis, had a margarita and Mexican food for lunch then went shopping. I actually felt like my normal self. I saw a glimpse of me and it felt good. This is the first weekend since my breakup. It was tough but I survived. Thank God! But I know there will still be a lot of ups and downs. However, It's good to know that I can rely on myself and being single isn't all that scary.

 

Anyhow, I'll send you an email so we can keep in touch. Thanks again!

 

Hey BHG =)

 

That's excellent to hear you're doing well today! I'm quite confident you are an amazing woman - you're making a huge step from where we both were only a few days ago. That's excellent. The ups & downs will come, but you know what? That only means you're human and you're healing. One day.. one day soon you're going to meet someone when you least expect it... and you're going to be happy. And when your ex calls you... you'll pick up... you'll be courteous, but you won't have time to talk to him because you'll have plans already with this new person!

 

My sunday has been ok. Went to my brother's graduation party today - saw friends & family... bought myself a new Droid Eris Google phone... it's nice will take some time getting used to, but ... we'll see. Today I had my up & down swing... but I'm good now. Blocking my ex was probably the best thing I've done since the breakup. I feel the days of past so close, but so distant now. Thank you for your support. It truly has made me a better person.

 

I'll definitely have to check out that book you recommended - I'll stop by Border's tomorrow and pick it up. Thanks.

 

All the best! And continue to be strong!

 

-Rob

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Hey BHG =)

 

That's excellent to hear you're doing well today! I'm quite confident you are an amazing woman - you're making a huge step from where we both were only a few days ago. That's excellent. The ups & downs will come, but you know what? That only means you're human and you're healing. One day.. one day soon you're going to meet someone when you least expect it... and you're going to be happy. And when your ex calls you... you'll pick up... you'll be courteous, but you won't have time to talk to him because you'll have plans already with this new person!

 

My sunday has been ok. Went to my brother's graduation party today - saw friends & family... bought myself a new Droid Eris Google phone... it's nice will take some time getting used to, but ... we'll see. Today I had my up & down swing... but I'm good now. Blocking my ex was probably the best thing I've done since the breakup. I feel the days of past so close, but so distant now. Thank you for your support. It truly has made me a better person.

 

I'll definitely have to check out that book you recommended - I'll stop by Border's tomorrow and pick it up. Thanks.

 

All the best! And continue to be strong!

 

-Rob

 

Hi Rob,

 

I sent you an email.

 

Anyhoo, how is your monday. I'm bummed but keeping my chin up. After all life's too short to cry over a liar and a cheater. It's the memories that keep messing me up and the thought of him with her. Idk how to deal with those thoughts, each time is like a stab in the heart.

[bananaboat11]

Hi Rob,

 

I sent you an email.

 

Anyhoo, how is your monday. I'm bummed but keeping my chin up. After all life's too short to cry over a liar and a cheater. It's the memories that keep messing me up and the thought of him with her. Idk how to deal with those thoughts, each time is like a stab in the heart.

 

This man you think of... is unworthy of your world. To contemplate the cruelty of another human being ...it disgusts me. The best thing you can know is he wanted you. That is where you draw the line. You feel emotion.. your heart speaks to you. You are beautiful. That is normal. You are no longer succumbing to your own scrutiny because you realize he is the one that is losing.. he will soon come to understand, the greatest gift G-d could bestow upon his world is no more... as you go on to be with someone who is deserving of your love... and you, to procure his own heart... virtuous and true to you. And together, shall a new sacred bond be formed between two individuals... a bond so strong that nothing will bear to shatter it... not even the finger of g-d himself.

 

Be strong, be true to yourself, and let your heart be free

[Brokenhearted_girl]

Right now I am just really angry!!! I want to see my ex and his skanky-ass "online friend" suffer. I am not a violent person but I think they should get what they deserve!!! Karma is a bitch!