She has a boyfriend

[Kornfused]

Well its been over 4 months of separation. I started seeing someone quickly and although it shouldve been a disaster its been really good. But I still obsess about my STBXW so much. I found out she has a boyfriend yesterday. When she was locked up in detox for severe alcoholism and drug addiction she told me she screwed someone to hurt me because I told her I was seeing someone. Im not convinced she wasnt messing with this guy when she left me. Such a train wreck. Im sure this is a good thing. A milestone to help move on. But I just fell really sick to my stomach and wanna take a flamethrower to them both. She also told me yesterday that no matter what is going on or who either of us are seeing she will come back to me if I ever want her back. Of course I want her back. The her that she was before she started drinking and using and lying and cheating. Sigh. I can see a decent future now without her. I couldnt a few months ago. I still think I will always love her and resent her for basically having a selfish disease. So anyway she has a boyfriend and he is a pos junkie who is supposedly trying to stay sober like she is supposedly trying to stay sober. What a pair. She told me she lost the best thing that ever happened to her (me) and told her sure sure as @#$! did. Im still taking care of her son from her former 3 nights a week and Saturdays. The rest of the time his Grandparents care for him. Not that I mind. He is my son too. Just exposes what a pos she is. I know she has never and will never fully accept her motherly responsibilities especially as long as her parents are willing to do it for her. Anyways in regards to the new boyfriend info, Im waiting for the wave of panic and pain and anger to wash over me today.