My husband says he didn't cheat....

[thefirstwife]

He is in retail management and I found out that he has been texting her hundreds of times. He was trying to hide this from me. He claims that nothing happened, they are just friends.

 

Regardless, he is moving out and we are separating. We have two young children.

 

I know it doesn't matter anymore if he really cheated or not. And what he does with his time from this point forward is none of my business. But why do I keep dwelling on this? I really don't believe that they are just friends. I believe he has feelings for this girl. She is much younger than him (he manages a place that has all university kids working for him)

 

I feel so hurt and dismissed. I am an attractive and successful person. Why would he do this to me?

 

How do we find peace with never knowing if our spouse cheated on us or not? And moreoever, why do we care???

 

Sending my plea for reasoning out there to you in cyberspace....any ideas?

 

Sincerely,

The First Wife

[reboot]

If your gut tells you something like this, it's usually right.

[xbluudevilx]

^ +1.

 

Get over that POS and move on for you and your kids' sake. Good luck!

[hopesndreams]

I feel so hurt and dismissed. I am an attractive and successful person. Why would he do this to me?

 

It wasn't about you, it was all about him. His wants, his needs were and are first and foremost. You didn't even enter into it.

 

How do we find peace with never knowing if our spouse cheated on us or not? And moreoever, why do we care???

 

Your gut says he did cheat and so did the hundreds of texts. He wants the D, not to be alone but to be with her. He can't come out and tell you because he is a chickensh*t.

[phineas]

You caught him.

He's bailing on you because he knows he you won't let him have his GF.

 

Just like my wife.

It seems the cheaters play book is not gender specific.

 

Get a lawyer.

[thefirstwife]

Thank-you all for the comments. It is reassuring to hear from others that you think the same way I do. He tells me that I'm crazy and psycho for even thinking that he was cheating, then gets angry and mean. It's all mind games - he moves out in 9 days. I just need to make it through these nine days.

[phineas]

Thank-you all for the comments. It is reassuring to hear from others that you think the same way I do. He tells me that I'm crazy and psycho for even thinking that he was cheating, then gets angry and mean. It's all mind games - he moves out in 9 days. I just need to make it through these nine days.

 

Yeah, my wife said the same thing.

 

Is this moving out prompted by you catching him?

 

Personally, if someone accused me of cheating i'd hand over my cell phone & tell them to go wild.

I'd even pull up my phone bill & call log.

 

why?

Because i'm about 2 weeks shy of 38 & not once have I ever cheated on a woman & I think I can confidently say I never will.

So, I got nothing to hide.

 

Your husband would do the same if he had nothing to hide.

[reboot]

He tells me that I'm crazy and psycho for even thinking that he was cheating, then gets angry and mean.

 

They all say that, they all do that. It's straight out of the book. "Cheating for Dummies" I think. You can probably buy it on Amazon.

[JLoves]

I found out that he has been texting her hundreds of times. He was trying to hide this from me. He claims that nothing happened, they are just friends.

 

Just because he doesn't think he's cheating, doesn't mean he isn't.

 

Look up EA - Emotional Affair. Thats what he's having. In my book it's cheating, or very very close.

 

I worked out my W was having an Emotional Affair after I caught her kissing the guy when he came to visit us on holiday. In my house, when I was in the bathroom. Wish I had thrown them both out at that point. Can't rewrite history.

 

He wasn't having the EA, she was. In her head. All went downhill from there as the ILYBIDLY bomb was dropped hours later.