can you help

[minnipaws]

i hope there is some advice out there.

i am 36 and i am soon to be married

my soon to be husband and i have lived together for

2 years last Christmas he did't get me any thing not

even a card he said he was sorry and he would not do this again this Christmas we decided to give to the charity that we pick out but i thought i would have received a card or a gift he received many from me and i received nothing from him but excuses about how he kept his word and did not buy me any thing

i am to be married on Jan 3rd and i question the fact

and i don't think i want to go Thur with this can you help

[dyermaker]

Hold on a minute, Let me get this straight... You don't want to marry him, because he doesn't GET you things? Can you play that back in your head, and see what it is that you gave us to work with? If it's just that, then I'd say you should stop being so whiny. But, my guess is, there's something more, maybe that he often doesn't keep promises? Or something else that affects communication?

 

I think you should talk to him about this, but try to present it in the grander scheme of your relationship, not like, "Honey, I don't want to marry you because you never get me gifts, cheapass".

[moimeme]

we decided to give to the charity that we pick out

 

So together you decided this but, for some reason, you expected that he would not keep his word. And this is a big enough issue that you don't want to get married.

 

By all means do not marry. It does not sound as though you have spent sufficient time to get to know one another and you mustn't really love him all that much if this one issue is enough to get you to ditch him.

[mjk]

How is he about other things? Gifts to other relatives etc.

 

Maybe he isn't a good gift picker-outer?

 

I think you have a good concern but to stop a wedding...I don't know.

 

There must be other things that are buggin' you about your relationship with him?