Simon Attwood Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I don't agree! I'm not exactly sure what it is you are not agreeing with I am a post abortion councelor Most counsellors I know, know how to spell counsellor Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 No lie...something needs to be done...this is the second time that it has been so bad and disrspectful....what can be done about this????? I am serious!!!!! "the hatred of OW and MM forum" is more appropriate in my opinion. There has been a wave lately of picturing MM in a very bad light. No understanding of them and their difficulties at all. Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 You have no idea what you are saying and I will not even justify this with an answer....God help for what you have assumed I am....I am a post abortion councelor....so do not go there....you do not know what you are talking about where I am concerned and I wish you the best and am done with you.... I don't understand?? You are done with me? What have I said that is so wrong? What won't you justify with an answer. I do not understand what you are so upset about. My post was my honest feelings on what support is. What is wrong about that? What was hurtful about that? Why do you want to bury your head in the sand every time someone says something you don't like. My post was very honest and came from the heart of wanting to help ow in pain. You sure don't help them by telling them to stay involved... Link to post Share on other sites
greengoddess Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 You have no idea what you are saying and I will not even justify this with an answer....God help for what you have assumed I am....I am a post abortion councelor....so do not go there....you do not know what you are talking about where I am concerned and I wish you the best and am done with you.... Interesting also you keep complaining that people are judging people but every other post you are bringing your god into this and threatening them with his judgment if you don't like what they say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pureinheart Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 "the hatred of OW and MM forum" is more appropriate in my opinion. There has been a wave lately of picturing MM in a very bad light. No understanding of them and their difficulties at all. I know JJ and God dealt with me on that...that some MM are just going through some difficult things...that they are not the monsters even I communicated....I had a real manipulator and it is not that way with every R....shoot even he isn't that bad...he's been hurt also....actually the truth is all parties need consideration, lest they are dangerous...then they need professional help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pureinheart Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 I'm not exactly sure what it is you are not agreeing with I believe the God of the Bible is God of all creation Most counsellors I know, know how to spell counsellor Sorry...I am a Post Abortion Councellor....just tired....and I have certain words I choose to spell my own way and that is me...lol....ask me a question concerning abortion...I worked for right to life for many years....must pass out now....had to deal with too many horrible people....this forum will change one way or the other though because it is pathetic....almost to the point of being funny Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 The problem is, you're not coming across as being coherent, practical or logical....all these full stops....make your posts....disjointed.......and you sound as......if you're just.....rambling.......and trust me.......talking to people the way you do....is ....guaranteed to get people's backs........... up. Come back when you're rested and try to put your point across a little less vehemently, vitriolically and a little more dispassionately. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 If you frequented this forum you would understand....it is impossible to state every thread....read the recent treads in this forum, they are long...you would have to keep up with them. Show me what gives you the right to judge me based on one reply, you are rude one and I am done dealing with you....this is almost funny and a waste of precious time. It is interesting that you consider me "complaining" because I am fed up with the abuse of OW....that says it all my dear, I wish the best for you. Excuse me Not Pure In Heart, but you are the one who is complaining that people are treating others the exact way you treat them. Who are you to tell people what they should and shouldn't advise anyway? Tony is the moderator here in case you don't have a clue. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 "the hatred for OW forum" More like the incessant whining forum. Link to post Share on other sites
eeyore1981 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I have noticed a great deal of judgementalism, cruelty and absolute disrespect in replies to those seeking compassion. We do not have to agree with the reason for the need of compassion, love or understanding, although is there any among you without sin? Is their sin "greater" than yours, or are you arrogant believing the lie that you are perfect. I am not trying to preach, I just do not know of any other way to communicate this. At this point, after what I am seeing, I do not care which forum it is, this is just terrible and very immature. I can tell by the OP's that they are sincerely hurting, right....wrong...or indifferent, they are sincerely seeking love, understanding and compassion...some are seeking advice....if this be the case the advice should be respectful and not judgemental based on old hurts from the person replying. I am seeing abusive replies.....and it's no wonder the world is the way it is. One reply was so disturbing concerning the sheer joy out of another persons pain, it was this reply that prompted this knowledge that those that will not judge themselves first will have the mirror turned on them and those that find pleasure in anothers pain will have a broken mirror turned on them. In 1993, during much counceling I ran around blaming everything and everyone else....the mirror got turned on me and I cried for 4 days...that was the beginning of compassion....some of you have a very long way to fall because you lack mercy and are arrogant....you will need great mercy and you will find none. Concerning "I am better than you because I do not do that"....you are able to point out anothers wrongs especially when they are posting and have admitted wrong where it is due them...God help you is all I have to say. I have been down this arrogant road and was dealt with.....get ready and don't be surprised.... I understand what you are saying, I really do. However, IMO, this seems like a double standard. The motto for OM/OW seems to be, "I owe nothing to BS, I am doing no wrong, I have no contract with BS, so I'll do whatever I want to BS, and if they wake up one day and find their world has come apart, don't blame me, blame the spouse." Justifications are made. "It just happened." "I fell in love." "I deserve to have what I want, to be happy, etc." OM/OW do not have compassion towards those they hurt with their actions. Yet they expect to receive compassion. Ever heard "Do unto others as you expect them to do unto you?" A lot of times, it is not just the BS who gets hurt. A lot of times, there are children involved, and they suffer as well. To me, a lot of OM/OW are like drunks. You get in a car with your friend and drive 10 miles to a bar. Maybe you tell yourself you are just going to have one drink, but you instead have 12, because you like to drink, drinking makes you feel good. You sit there and watch your friend drink 20. You both then get up all slobbery and stagger to the car to drive the 10 miles home. Your friend plows into another car, maybe just containing one person, maybe a family. Everyone, including you, is injured. You then declare yourself the victim, as everyone knows people drive drunk, and the other car should have been watching for you and gotten out of your way. Besides, you weren't even driving, so no blame for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Attwood Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I believe the God of the Bible is God of all creation Which part of The Bible? I was quoting directly from The Bible and the God I was quoting was the God of The Bible, and yet, you said that you didn't agree. I wasn't aware I said anything to agree with or disagree with. I quoted direct from The Old Testament the words of God as stated in Deutoronomy 7:2/ 20:16. It wasn't my opinion, it was a direct quote from The Bible. Just to be sure, are you not agreeing with the God of The Bible? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I have noticed a great deal of judgementalism, cruelty and absolute disrespect in replies to those seeking compassion. Actually I think in the past month or so, maybe more, MOST threads have been respectful and nice. Ofcourse there's always going to be one or two people (doesn't matter if it's a BS or an OW) who will let loose, take shots, but honestly, I don't see the judgement, the fighting going on like before. "the hatred of OW and MM forum" is more appropriate in my opinion. I do have to comment though, the few MM who have posted in this section have been run off by OW. Kind of ironic seeing as OW want respect and not to be judged by anyone, let alone a BS, yet when a MM posts, many OW come at them, like he's their MM.. What some OW accuse BS's of doing (taking it out on them like they are their husband's OW) they do the SAME THING to MM who post here! Not only here but also in the infidelity section as well. Those MM get judged, called names, accusations thrown at them. I'm just sayin'.. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I think alot of people get pissed and attack because the posters in this forum always seem to make the BS sound like an idiot..Not all the time..but I'm not even a BS and it offends me the way they belittle the W/H because "they have no idea what we have" maybe people should just be a little more considerate. in life and on here with a bunch of strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I do have to comment though, the few MM who have posted in this section have been run off by OW. Kind of ironic seeing as OW want respect and not to be judged by anyone, let alone a BS, yet when a MM posts, many OW come at them, like he's their MM.. What some OW accuse BS's of doing (taking it out on them like they are their husband's OW) they do the SAME THING to MM who post here! Not only here but also in the infidelity section as well. Those MM get judged, called names, accusations thrown at them. I'm just sayin'.. I've noticed that too and just MM in general get bashed here on LS very strongly...there have been several threads about it recently about how MM suck in general. No wonder there are so few MM who post here...they're run off immediately. Also, many times MM are 'hated on' by both the OW and BS. It's a shame really, because the MM perspective is the one that is most often sought after here by OW and BS. I like reading the posts by the MM, it really gives balance and context to the discussions on these boards. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner. This says to me that this forum is for the OP and the MP, not the BS. The BS has a subforum. But as this is obviously not a protected forum, if you can not have a thick skin then I would find one of the other forums that are geared towards the OP only. Here you will obviously get all sides, which is not a bad thing, but you will need to pick and choice what posts you want to read. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I do have to comment though, the few MM who have posted in this section have been run off by OW. Kind of ironic seeing as OW want respect and not to be judged by anyone, let alone a BS, yet when a MM posts, many OW come at them, like he's their MM.. What some OW accuse BS's of doing (taking it out on them like they are their husband's OW) they do the SAME THING to MM who post here! Not only here but also in the infidelity section as well. Those MM get judged, called names, accusations thrown at them. I'm just sayin'.. I am not talking about the MM posting here, I am talking about how we talk about MM in general when posting on OW's threads. Scumbags, liars, you name it. Poison the OW's mind against the MM so she will know to leave him, seems to be the motto of many posters on LS. What you are describing above about OW judging MM who post on LS I have not seen. Aren't most MM who post here (not all) treated with respect and interest from both BS and OW? Take Devil Inside for example. Everyone appreciates his posts. I think since MM are so rare here, we all want to hear what they have to say. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueeyedJonesy Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 "The BS has a subforum" Um, where exactly is that? because last I checked the infidelity forum has a constant flow of OW/OM commenting and posting. Do you think we want to hear about "How could she not know that I'm boinking her H" on the infidelity forum. I think you are trying to set a double standard here. Don't dish out what you can't take down. Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 "The BS has a subforum" Um, where exactly is that? because last I checked the infidelity forum has a constant flow of OW/OM commenting and posting. Do you think we want to hear about "How could she not know that I'm boinking her H" on the infidelity forum. I think you are trying to set a double standard here. Don't dish out what you can't take down. Hmm, perhaps we OW should start posting this on the Infidelity forum: Go NC and leave that scumbag of a husband you have. Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 "The BS has a subforum" Um, where exactly is that? because last I checked the infidelity forum has a constant flow of OW/OM commenting and posting. Do you think we want to hear about "How could she not know that I'm boinking her H" on the infidelity forum. I think you are trying to set a double standard here. Don't dish out what you can't take down. Well, at last check, I was not voted as spokesperson or voice piece for all OW and OM, I can tell you I have never posted on that forum. So I am not trying to set any double standard as I have stayed consistently over here. And if you read my second paragraph, since these are not protected boards and moderators allow the crossing over, in reality, everyone just needs to pull on their big girl and boy panties and just deal with all the feedback. Or go to forums that are protected and for each specific person. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 It always amazes me when people feel that raw emotions about affairs should be suppressed. IMO, the best way to get answers about how to deal with affairs is to take a close look at those who have been most hurt by them, BW's and OW's included. Why come to a board for "support" when all you want is a hug? Would you pay a therapist to hug you? Wouldn't you get more value for your money if the therapist gave you a real view of the pain that affairs can cause all of the parties involved? Maybe it's just me, but I like it when people are real even if I don't agree with them. The topic of affairs is a volatile one, so IMO you should not be surprised when the conversations become volatile. Nature of the beast IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 I ...advice should be respectful and not judgemental based on old hurts from the person replying. Since we are not all trained (paid) therapists, what do you propose we base our advice on if not our own life experience? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Another thing, threads like these do not help..At all..Infact, I think (just my opinion) it makes it worse and makes those who have been getting along roll their eyes.. MOST of the OW and BS's who have been replying and posting ARE getting along fine. Once in a while someone may say something harsh, but in the past little while I haven't seen any '3'regular' BS's, OW's have issues with one another. There are some who do "drive by's" and then they disappear..Those the people who come and stir the pot up. Noone gives credit to the BS's and OW's who have respect for one another, and really do care, and offer support, both ways. It's always negative threads like this that causes more arguments and fighting. Just my 2 cents. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Another thing, threads like these do not help..At all..Infact, I think (just my opinion) it makes it worse and makes those who have been getting along roll their eyes.. MOST of the OW and BS's who have been replying and posting ARE getting along fine. Once in a while someone may say something harsh, but in the past little while I haven't seen any '3'regular' BS's, OW's have issues with one another. There are some who do "drive by's" and then they disappear..Those the people who come and stir the pot up. Noone gives credit to the BS's and OW's who have respect for one another, and really do care, and offer support, both ways. It's always negative threads like this that causes more arguments and fighting. Just my 2 cents. Here..here. Smart lady. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Hmm, perhaps we OW should start posting this on the Infidelity forum: Go NC and leave that scumbag of a husband you have. It's been done, time after time after time. It's most easy to see vitriol when it's directed to you or to a group you (speaking as you in the broadest sense, not you as in you specifically) are aligned with. It's much more difficult to see when it is directed towards a group you have anger and/or antipathy towards. I like what WWIU said. Having a thread about how terrible that "other group" of people are and how cruel they are only makes things worse. That "other group" also has a lot of people who either are currently or have in the fairly recent past also been in a lot of pain, they have also been mugged, so what's the result? You just end up with a lot of people basically saying that the other group is bad and they are innocent - which is of course never the case. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pureinheart Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 So is this now the "vulture forum"? The 2 threads that I am referring to are "Dealing w/the STBXW", in which one reply...most of the replies were uncool and confrontational, althought there was one that was extremely delighted in the posters pain....this is sadistic. The other thread was "Dissappointed in these MM" where the replies were centered on her being a sleeze and provoking it. I simply started a thread to point this stuff out..............................................although obviously this type of behavior and treatment ot other people is okay, so have fun. The name of this forum needs to be changed, it has been taken over. I wish all of you the best. Goodbye Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts