What is wrong with me???? Stricken with free-floating fear of everything

[GirlInDisguise]

I don't know where to start so if this sounds strange then sorry...this could be long..I'm hoping someone will read this

 

I am scared of everything! About 3 years ago I was in a bad situation that seems like it made everything in my life change! I was on my way (walking) to a store. I was a pretty good distance away from my home when a man approached me making sexual comments..he kept talking about how he'd love to rape me! I started running home and it was just comment after comment about my ass my thys my legs my small little body sorry I just get a little chocked up when talking about this! So many thoughts were running through my head! When I was running I felt like an Angel came inside of my body and gave me the strength to run! I made it home. I thank God for that..I know that situation could of been a lot worse.

 

Anyways the police did absolutely nothing about it..as a matter of a fact we had to call the police 2 months after it happened because I saw on the news all this stuff and at school we got a paper about a serial rapist around! Well the police came to my house and expected me to be able to tell them what the man looked like. My mind just freezed and from the point foward well actually until the other day I didn't know what the man looked like! The police left after getting all the detail and they never called me to tell me if they caught the man or whats up.

 

Anyways this story I think has to do a lot about how my life is! I am scared to death of everything! I'm 18 years old and I can't even stay home alone! I can't drive, I've had my temps but I start flipping out when a car comes behind me and I stop I just freeze up, I can't walk anywhere..I can't even walk to the mail box unless my Mom or Dad is watching me, I hate answering the phone I get scared when it rings, I jump when the doorbell rings, when I'm working I always feel scared but I don't show it, I can't go inside anywhere by myself, and I know a lot of people are going to laugh but I'm scared to sleep alone..I always sleep with my sister in her bed!

 

I make sure all the doors are locked at all times, I search my house for cameras because I constantly feel like I'm being watched, when I go to the bathroom I have to have the lights off..same thing when I'm getting a shower, wow I could go on and on forever and forever!

 

I didn't have any of these fears until after all that stuff happened. I felt so secure before that happened but now I know just how sick this world is.

 

I feel so crazy!

 

what in the hell is wrong with me?

[Tony T]

My opinion, and I am not a doctor, is that you have the beginnings of an anxiety neurosis that could result in severe agoraphobia and possibly panic attacks later down the road. I urge you to seek psychological counselling at your earliest opportunity. If you don't your condition will worsen and your avoidance behavior will consume your life for all your days.

 

People who have the predisposition for phobias and anxiety can have them easily set off by the kind of horrific experience you had. There are certain biological, physiological, and genetic factors that come into play here. Also, you could have easilly been raped and killed. Your angels were with you for sure that day. The police were just as bad as the man who approched you.

 

An excellent therapist can help you put this into perspective and give you techniques for changing your ways of thinking so that you will not be so alarmed and see life is such a threatening way but you absolutely must get counselling by an excellent, competent counsellor who knows what he or she is doing. I urge you do to this less you suffer from worsening symptoms as the days pass.

 

If you would like to read more, simply put "anxiety neurosis", "agoraphobia", "panic attack", or just "phobia" in a good search engine. I caution you not to try to treat yourself totally. What you have needs outside intervention and fast. Get help you need from somewhere. If you can't afford it, find universities, free clinics or women's centers that will help you.

 

And please don't judge the world by a few as'holes. You have to understand we live in time when even a very small percentage of evil people can do a lot of damage. We cannot give them the power over us to destroy our lives...as you are now doing. You be the victor in this situation.

[GirlInDisguise]

Is there anything I could do about it besides going to a psychitrist?

 

I'm going to do some research but I hope some people will give me some feed back on something they think I could try besides that

[Tony T]

"Is there anything I could do about it besides going to a psychitrist?"

 

I have not written that you need a psychiatrist. Please read my post again. There is a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychological counsellor, however it very well may be determined that you need medication temporarily.

 

But let me make it every more CLEAR TO YOU than before. I personally know you have a situation which could worsen into the most serious, life altering problem you could ever have. SEE A DOCTOR, A COUNSELLOR or other professional as soon as possible. Don't try to treat yourself. Now, if you aren't going to listen to me, that's OK. But just know that you could cripple your entire life with fear as this problem escalates. Please don't let that happen.

 

There are not even counsellors who would take on your treatment via online means. So why would us non-professionals try to do it?

 

I'd even suggest to you some breathing exercises but how the hell am I supposed to show you on a message board? You can get this from a professional. If you are too afraid to go to their office, find one who will come to your home.

[GirlInDisguise]

Thanks so much for the advice Tony!

 

I really think I should look into something because lately I have been noticing several different things! Like when I get scared I feel like I can't breath, I get all shaky, etc! I guess it does make since that the problem will only get worse!

 

I left something out of my 1st post that I'm going to add..I don't think It'll make much of a difference but this conversation about this has just came up in my house! I have a fear of eating in front of people...which I know many people have. I'll go to parties or something and I won't eat or drink, I'll drink something once in a while but I'll keep my eyes on it the whole time..I won't let go of it until I want to throw it away! The reason why I'm saying this is because the other day I went to this thing and my mom asked me what I ate and I told her nothing and then she started saying that that was a sign of a sevre phobia type thing.

 

I feel like such a freak

[Tony T]

Please don't feel like you're a freak. Many millions of people go through periods of anxiety in their lives when they develop various inexplicable fears, social phobias, etc. What is important here is that you get the proper medical and psychological intervention immediately before the condition worsens into something it could take you many years to get it check.

 

You are not an isolated case. There are millions of people who have agoraphobia, which is a salad of various phobias. Many of these people are too afraid to even go out of their homes. That's why I urge you to get professional help ASAP and not take this lightly. What you have is the beginning of what can become a very serious condition which could alter the quality of your life for many years.