can 36 year old girlfriend have a midlife crisis?

[GrayClouds]

getting a moped:lmao::lmao::lmao: I do declaire I held it in till then. I burst out laughing. Wet me pants a bit:confused:

 

 

 

Yes if he was a real man he would have bought a custom chopped 61 OHV knucklehead Harley with straight pipes, oversized 200/60/15's and a removable bitch seat...WOW moped:lmao::lmao::lmao: what a wanker:D:D

 

or at least one those sissy brit bikes....

[brock9911]

yes one of the few things America can be proud of...Harley's and Pick-ups

[adamt]

She had a life-altering event (her mother dying when she was relatively young) and it affected her psyche. Suddenly, her own mortality stared her in the face and she re-evaluated her perspective.

 

Her seemingly drastic change perhaps is a rubber band from where she once was, but, in reality, her natural setpoint really was somewhere in between and it was hidden from view. Maybe it will settle out. Maybe not.

 

Having been through something similar and examining my own psychology in MC, I'll offer it up as one possibility. I doubt it had anything to do with you.

 

Some good points there, i do know in her younger days(student days) she was into going out a lot and dabbled in ecstacy sometimes and drunk a lot . although since she was about 29 she has been how she was with me. but like you say maybe now she trying to find where her balance in life and perhaps i met her at a time when she was going through a different phase. the situation made her think like is passing by and she wants to relive the great social time of her 20s. dont want to feel she is getting old. when i met her she wasnt that fussed about late nights out and happy chilling out at home. I was never the possessive type and a great believer in letting a partner having outside friends. she is 36 and how long can she go on like this? how is she going to be when she hits 40? i know i wont be around though.

 

we both joined facebook about 2 years ago and i think that got her reconnected with old friends so that will have contributed too. she does seem to go through phases of being into things for a year or so. before me she hadnt been out with anyone for more than 2 years, maybe she gets bored of a relationship after a while. maybe a little selfish and not prepared to work on relationships when it need freshening up.

[carhill]

Life exposes us. Each day is a new exposure. We each respond according to our own unique combination of psyche, experience and emotion of the moment. What she is doing right now is living her life; her responses; her impetuses. Upon reflection, she might go 'whoa!', but it is reality now.

 

What I learned in MC is that I had a hard time accepting things and tended to respond emotionally in the moment and how that dynamic can be unhealthy. The work was learning to accept and see a different perspective on 'stuff'. It's still a work in progress but I guess it is for everyone. When it's over, we die. She saw that, clearly, in her mother's death.

 

This likely will happen again, in some form, to someone you love, or to yourself. What you do with it is, well, what you do with it. Choices are ours

[nobmagnet]

[]Yes if he was a real man he would have bought a custom chopped 61 OHV knucklehead Harley with straight pipes, oversized 200/60/15's and a removable bitch seat...WOW moped:lmao::lmao::lmao: what a wanker:D:D

 

or at least one those sissy brit bikes....[/

 

 

indeed. say it all. the question was..........midlife crisis love......woman/ man its shallowness to expansion.

 

gray rests his case.

 

 

nob xx

[adamt]

Life exposes us. Each day is a new exposure. We each respond according to our own unique combination of psyche, experience and emotion of the moment. What she is doing right now is living her life; her responses; her impetuses. Upon reflection, she might go 'whoa!', but it is reality now.

 

What I learned in MC is that I had a hard time accepting things and tended to respond emotionally in the moment and how that dynamic can be unhealthy. The work was learning to accept and see a different perspective on 'stuff'. It's still a work in progress but I guess it is for everyone. When it's over, we die. She saw that, clearly, in her mother's death.

 

This likely will happen again, in some form, to someone you love, or to yourself. What you do with it is, well, what you do with it. Choices are ours

 

I guess i am reacting to her leaving me by getting myself into shape and getting fit and taking more care in my appearance and taking up new hobbies. making an effort to do new things and trying not to sit at home thinking too much.

 

I can now see the warning signs but it still knocks you sideways

 

i think i have never looked forward to spring so much in my life, going to get out in the fresh air hiking whenever i can or get out on my bike.I cant wait for that first spring day!

 

going back to my ex, she is a fully independent type lady. good job, own house and car..etc I suppose that is what attracted me to her cos my previous one before her was more clingy and i didnt like that. hopefully next time the balance is right. and maybe things are meant to be for a reason and this girl i am waiting to come back into the country is top totty:) fingers crossed!

 

My parents are still fit and well in their mid 60s. they do lots of walking/hiking. I suppose i just never think one day they wont be here. I dont know how i would cope to see my dad struggling to be on his own. i'll only know when it happens.

 

just feels so sad that someone you love pushes you away as they dont want you to help them through something so tough and just chuck something away that was really good for over 2 years

[carhill]

My parents are still fit and well in their mid 60s. they do lots of walking/hiking. I suppose i just never think one day they wont be here.

 

Yes, that was my life experience until 10:30 pm on one Friday the 13th when I was informed my mother was comatose on a ventilator. Life as I knew it ended in one instant. No warnings, no decline. Seven years later I can look into those largely lifeless eyes and remember that day like it was yesterday. It changes you. It affects people who love you. My situation was the opposite, in that I reached out to my wife and she wasn't there for me.

 

I hope your experiences will benefit you in the future. I know mine certainly have. Life is what it is

[adamt]

Life is about experiences-good and bad and learning from them. when it comes to losing someone close i am not experienced in that yet.(apart form losing my ex)If you do live to a ripe old age then you will experience lots ups and downs. When my ex was quiet I would ask her whats up and she said she felt sad and i said if it was because of her mom and she said yes. i then ask her if she wanted to talk about, i think she didnt want to talk about it because she is a tough cookie who likes to deal with things herself.keeping the british stiff upper lip. so i never pushed her to open up. but now i also think she was saying she was feeling sad because her feelings for me were changing. when we split up she felt our moment had passed and we were going in different directions and she wished we had spoke sooner and more often about how we felt. I dont know if she was surprised at the end how much she meant to me. i guess her feelings had gone and i could see that in her eyes., I've learnt that i cant be complacent in a relationship, thinking someone will always be there even if things are going so well.

 

One of my friends lost his girlfriend to a brain tumour when she was 30. he hasnt recovered 6 years on. Not had a girlfriend since, not even a sniff of one night stand. he also kept things to himself. I suppose everyone deals with things differently.

Edited January 7, 2010 by adamt