Will he ever stop lying? ugh why?

[knowhowyoufeel]

Speaking to the lady who brought up the "settling" part. I seem to go through days on end when I can accept the multifaceted diatribes of life and since I'm a writer and lyricist - I look upon it as good fodder for my songs

 

But today I'm of the other mind. I know I'm an enabler - I have no idea why I'm that way - over empathy to others maybe? Whatever the deal is - its a really good arguement for my belief in reincarnation. I MUST have brought it over from a past life.

 

In my case the situation didn't start out the way it's turning out to be. When I met my boyfriend he had been diagnosed with cancer. He was loving, attentive, sensitive and deep - and never failed to let everyone know how much he loved me. In retrospect, I'm now remembering the comments of people who had known him for a long time. Things like - "Wow, he's changed, lets just say he used to be a somewhat different person", and "I've never seen him so smitten before - he used to not be nice". Well, that was almost 2 years ago and at least right now he's cancer free - but now the person that everyone knew before is apparently back in town. Although he makes sure I lack for nothing and spoils me - the one thing I wanted most of all is what I had with him when we thought he was dying. He used to be so affectionate. He used to say random **** like "You make me want to be a better person". I used to feel such a connection. I think that's what I'm still waiting around for - a guy who ironically DID die, in a sense. That's who I have to realize is never coming back, maybe then I can stop enabling the one who took his place.

Edited January 9, 2010 by knowhowyoufeel

[You'reasian]

I'm dating a liar. That I am sure of.

 

Now it's everything else that has me questioning. I've been dating and living with my highschool sweetheart for a year now. We met in highschool, dated, broke up. I dated someone else for a while and my sweetheart fought for two years to win me back and finally did.

 

We were in heaven and I decided to move in with him. So after fighting for me for so long I dont understand why lie to me now when everything is perfect and mess things up?

 

It started small. These damn social networks. grrr After 8 months of dating ( jan-Aug) he leaves his myspace open and I couldn't help it I peeped. And he was writing to his ex gf " Hey you've been lost you don't answer my calls call me" I was so hurt. The message was from July so it was three months old but what happened after is what has me concerned. I confront him and he denies the whole thing, says Im crazy and that someone must have 'hacked' into his account and wrote to his ex to start problems between us. wow..I said are you kidding me? He denied it for a whole day sticking to that story. I slept at a friends and when I came home the next day I gave him one more chance to tell the truth and he lied again. So I started packing my stuff. He broke down and eventually told me the truth after lying for two days. Long story short I forgave him, said we had a clean slate and that was that.

 

A month later he leaves his yahoo open. I already dont trust him at this point so I peep again. ( I know Im guily too but I had to look ) I notice its a yahoo account that he used to email me from in HS. we met at 15 and are know 25. SO he has two yahoo accounts. I'm looking around and he has answers from women on craigslist. From personals. I check the sent box and he had written to three women telling them 'like your pics I can show you around town email me back for my pics' signed a different name than his.

 

So now i'm like craiglist? c'mon! So I confront him in the morning. He says im crazy again that he doesnt know what Im talking about. Goes to work calls me at 1 in the afternoon and says he remembers. That him and his guy friends were bored at work and they were all huddled around his computer and decided to go on craiglist to look at girls for innocent fun. One thing led to another and in typical guy fashion they all competed to write to girls and see who could get a response the fastest.

 

I didnt buy but since I have nowhere to go I just sucked it up and let it go. *(besides this he is the most romantic, attentive, sweetest, amazing boyfriend I have ever had in my life)

 

At this point I know Im crazed. I dont believe anything he says. I always had his current yahoo password but never used it. So I decided to one day and what do I find? and email sent to his co-worker of some chick with her "area" exposed and naked. THe subject just said pics. I confront him again and hje gets angry fo rme snooping and proceeds to tell me he loves me but I need to stop sccusing him. He says his friend who's married, was having an affair with the girl in the pictures who happens to work with the both of them. He said his friend works from his computer on certain days and saved them on his computer and then asked him to send it to him through his email so he could save them.

 

its like hes feeding me bs and more bs.

 

THing is hes always home, always with me on the weekends, never home late. Phone doesnt ring at night. Nothing suspicious yet my gut screams sketchy.

 

So all this leads to know. We got new phones and he wasnt receiving texts. So he asked me to call the provider up and help fix it. as Im in his phone talking to customer service i see a text from a girl asking "could she pass by his job for an oil change lol" ( he works at a dealer) i asked he said it was just a friend from school ( yet i just found out shes 20) so then day before yesterday he gives me his phone to see a pic and when i go send it to myself I see her name in his call log.

 

I go to work and check our phone bill on line and sure enough hes called the number a few times. I ask him and he swore that his mother died he hasn't spoken to her since the text message for oil change.

 

Im just so fed up with the lies. I dont think he could be doing anything wrong but I don't know whats going on? I dont know what to do. I have no where to move to because im school currently and working partime. My family lives out of town and dont really have friends. But I will leave if I have to.

 

It seems he has a perfect story and excuse for everything and I just dont know if i can ever really trust him? any help would be greatful. Even just some people to vent with. Im having a tough day

 

Break up with the guy. If you don't trust him, find someone you can trust.

[Peter Attis]

Honey, you need to dump that zero and get you a hero!