Tasha1675 Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 On Monday my ex emailed my best friend to see how i am. He said that he knows he has to leave me to get on with my life but he wanted to know if i am OK. Apparently he said if i had had anything like the terrible xmas and new year he had, he wanted to see how i am doing. I have asked my friend to just tell him i am OK as far as she knows, i don't want him to know what i am up to. He broke up with me and after almost 12 weeks of NC, i feel like his conscience has caught up with him and he is trying to ease it. Also if he has had such a crap time, doesn't that tell him something!?! I am also confused as to why he didn't just ask me himself...so confused! Link to post Share on other sites
twinklecat Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 Wow, after such long NC can understand you're confused, quite sneaky going through a friend too! All I can advise is keep with NC, by the sounds of it he doesn't deserve to know how you are doing. I hate that though, when exes say they had a bad time etc etc to try and make you feel sorry for them. They made the decision so it's their own doing! The fact he has gone through a friend and not to you, it's all breadcrumbs and to ease his own guilt. Ignore it and stay strong! x Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 On Monday my ex emailed my best friend to see how i am. He said that he knows he has to leave me to get on with my life but he wanted to know if i am OK. Apparently he said if i had had anything like the terrible xmas and new year he had, he wanted to see how i am doing. I have asked my friend to just tell him i am OK as far as she knows, i don't want him to know what i am up to. He broke up with me and after almost 12 weeks of NC, i feel like his conscience has caught up with him and he is trying to ease it. Also if he has had such a crap time, doesn't that tell him something!?! I am also confused as to why he didn't just ask me himself...so confused! Likely he had some general interest in your well being but felt if he contacted he woudl be going again your NC wishes. He is most likely happy with his decision and did not want to lead you on. Though it does not matter why he is doing what he is do. What matters is what your doing to help you heal and become a better you. From here out out it is all about you sister. Time to treat yourself like the you should be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha1675 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 Yeah maybe he is just feeling guilty about what happened - I can't believe he told my friend he had a bad xmas etc, like she would care! It's hard because the last thing I said to him was 'I love you' and he said he really loved me but he couldn't stay with me because he didn't feel ready to settle down. It was a very sad break up, lots of crying. I moved out, left the area, my job, everything. I guess he has had a couple of months to digest what happened and he feels a bit bad. My friend wasn't sure whether to tell me or not, but she's my best friend and I am glad she told me. It's a bit annoying as he's at the forefront of my mind again! I am definitely keeping up the NC, I am doing really well now and I don't him to know as it'll probably make him feel better. No way! hehe! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted January 7, 2010 Share Posted January 7, 2010 They all seem to come around after a few months when reality sets in but usually it is just nostalgia a little more. Keep the focus on you and enjoy your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha1675 Posted January 7, 2010 Author Share Posted January 7, 2010 Yeah I know, I will continue to be strong! Oh yes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha1675 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Share Posted January 8, 2010 So...I have now found out that my friend replied to my ex just saying that I am OK as far as she knows but that he really should contact me himself if he wants to know about me. He said that he hasn't contacted me as he is feeling crap and it would only be for his own benefit as he still loves me! He must realise she would tell me this! What is he thinking!? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 So...I have now found out that my friend replied to my ex just saying that I am OK as far as she knows but that he really should contact me himself if he wants to know about me. He said that he hasn't contacted me as he is feeling crap and it would only be for his own benefit as he still loves me! He must realise she would tell me this! What is he thinking!?I would say he's emotionally manipulative. He's feeling sorry for himself, more than likely hasn't found any greener grass and wants you to feel bad for him. Notice it's all about him? Don't bend. Stick to NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha1675 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Share Posted January 8, 2010 Yeah it's all about him! I will keep up NC, if he thinks I am weak enough to contact him, he can think again! Link to post Share on other sites
teanoranges Posted January 8, 2010 Share Posted January 8, 2010 Wow Tasha! You are amazing! please keep up nc. You are really given a moment to prove your strength to yourself! I wish I had that opportunity but I know life knows I probably wouldn't be able to do it. Good luck and great job! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tasha1675 Posted January 8, 2010 Author Share Posted January 8, 2010 Thanks! Yeah I will. It's quite satisfying to know he's still thinking of me and if he's got anything worth saying he can contact me, I will not cave! hehe! Link to post Share on other sites
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