Wife Left No Contact (Homer)

[WonderingWhy]

I have another thread on here which detailed exactly what lead up too this point. My wife and I started talking again but it has only brought back the pain all over again so I have decided to go almost NC with her with the exception of our daughter. Any advice of how to continue this? It is hard, because she calls and wants to pretend as nothing happened, and everything is fine. Also any Homer ideas would be good, I've read about agreeing with her etc., but anything else? I want this to work with her, but feel she hasn't had the opportunity to miss us yet, because I have always been there for her. Any help would be good. Thanks all... This is so hurtful and stressfull it's unbelievable.

[JLoves]

I don't have many suggestions, but I feel the same way about my wife.

 

She decided to leave after I gave her the ultimatum, and is proceeding as if I'm happy that she has left. (well, thats the outward show. I have no clue as to her real feelings.. that was always the problem)

 

Of course she has to see the kids but every time I see her the pain comes back, although I guess its less and less each time.

 

The key point about homer/180 with regard to the OP is that you make it seem like you are happy without her. You become the happy you that she fell in love with. Allow her to miss that person.

 

Of course saying it is easy.. Damn hard to actually do.

 

I want this to work with her, but feel she hasn't had the opportunity to miss us yet, because I have always been there for her. Any help would be good. Thanks all... This is so hurtful and stressfull it's unbelievable.

 

Theres the key part... Don't be there for her. How can she miss you if you are there at her beck and call. She needs to work with you, not the other way around.

 

Gradually the hurt will go down to a dull pain. Unfortunately it takes time..

 

..... (reads other post) ....

 

I'm surprised I missed your original post. So many parallels to mine, even down to the long distant EA. At least your W seems to want to reconcile.

 

I often wonder what I'll do if she ever comes back and wants to try. Nearly 2 months since she walked.

 

From your last few posts it seems like you have been doing all the right things.. Just keep that up until you see her positive actions towards reconciliation. (not just talk)

 

Good luck..

Edited January 7, 2010 by JLoves