Oh the joys of having to "share" your S/O

[SophieA]

Hey guys, seeking your opinions. I need to vent and need to know if I am justified in being upset.

 

My amazing bf just went back to med school on Monday after an awesome 3 and a 1/2 weeks together. That time really flew by and he had family in town for about 1/2 of his visit so he spent the majority of that 1/2 of the visit with them. Totally understandable. His brothers live across the country and he sees them once a year if he's lucky.

 

Our original plan was for me to fly down on Feb 25-March 2 to spend his bday with him (his bday is Feb 27). We planned this before we got his schedule for this semester. Well, those dates can't happen due to some HUGE tests we found out about that have been scheduled on March 1 and 2. We mutually agreed that even though it sucks I won't be there for his bday- it'd be better if I flew down on March 4th-9th when he'd actually have time to spend with me rather than him studying for my entire visit.

 

This is where it gets icky.

 

My bf's best friend wants to fly down on March 6-March 12. He is also going to bring his gf (who I CAN NOT STAND. We clash. Badly. We've had minor spats in the past. She is negative. Never has anything nice to say about anyone/anything). This means our stays will overlap. And his best friend wants to stay in my bf's apartment with us (along with his negative Nelly gf) for his entire stay. My bf's apartment is TINY. VERY tiny.

 

So basically I am irritated. I already had to "share" my bf a lot over his last break. And now I'm going to have to share him again in March. I know that sounds terrible, but I don't want to share him this time. We only see each other 8 or so weeks out of the year and I want some time for just him and I.

 

I almost want to ask if he could ask his best friend to come a different week. I feel terrible saying it, but it's how I feel.

 

Am I justified in making this request? I doubt I will anyway. It just sucks.

[Rollercoasterr]

I think you're justified. Why ruin your visit when his best friend can come another time?

 

Personally Mathew and I are like recluses when we're together. We like to stay in just the two of us, go out just the two of us, do everything JUST THE TWO OF US. When your visits are so far and few in between I don't think it's too much to ask for a little alone time.

 

As for the girlfriend, I'd probably punch her and feel 10 times better, but that's just me.

[SophieA]

I think you're justified. Why ruin your visit when his best friend can come another time?

 

Personally Mathew and I are like recluses when we're together. We like to stay in just the two of us, go out just the two of us, do everything JUST THE TWO OF US. When your visits are so far and few in between I don't think it's too much to ask for a little alone time.

 

As for the girlfriend, I'd probably punch her and feel 10 times better, but that's just me.

 

 

Oh RC! I think if I punched her I might feel better too! haha.

 

I just know how it will go. They'll get there and she'll complain the whole time. About everything. And his best friend is a great guy...don't know why he puts up with her...

 

And how are the bf and I supposed to...be romantic...when they're going to be sleeping out on the couch about 10 feet from the bedroom door?! Ugh.

[Rollercoasterr]

Oh RC! I think if I punched her I might feel better too! haha.

 

I just know how it will go. They'll get there and she'll complain the whole time. About everything. And his best friend is a great guy...don't know why he puts up with her...

 

And how are the bf and I supposed to...be romantic...when they're going to be sleeping out on the couch about 10 feet from the bedroom door?! Ugh.

 

And there's a big problem. I'm going to use Scrappers terminology for what happens when I visit Mathew, so bear with me, LOL.

 

Mathew and I bowl. We like to bowl. A lot. So much it's sometimes hard to leave the bowling alley. If there were people there that didn't allow us to go to the bowling alley I'd be very very upset.

 

And you're right, you can't bowl with people sleeping on the couch 10 feet from you. And unless he's got a big ole couch, or a couch bed thing they aren't going to be sleeping very good anyways. Most guys don't think of this like women do. Actually, the only one I've found that gives a damn about if people hear or know that we're bowling is Mathew. So maybe if you bring it up from your point of view and say that maybe you and he might benefit in the "bowling" area if his best friend came another week I'm sure he'd at least half-way see it from your point of view.

[SophieA]

Bowl!! hahahahahaha. I love it!

 

I think you're right. Maybe I will just gently mention the bowling situation and see what BF has to say.

 

BF will also be in class a few of the days during our visits so that would leave me to entertain best friend and Negative Nelly since I've visited the island several times and they've never been. His best friend has already said "oh you can show us all the great restaurants/bars/beaches when we go down!"

 

Just thinking about having to spend that much time with her makes me nauseous.

[Els]

I definitely think you're justified. :/ Family, I can understand. Best friend, especially if scheduled later than our own plans (with exceptions of special circumstances, of course) - no freaking way. At the very least, they should get their own place.

[Miad's Princess]

I think you are very justified in your feelings. If you feel comfy enough ask your guy to tell his friend to change his dates, get your guy to tell him some made up story.

[Sparkling]

Hey guys, seeking your opinions. I need to vent and need to know if I am justified in being upset.

 

My amazing bf just went back to med school on Monday after an awesome 3 and a 1/2 weeks together. That time really flew by and he had family in town for about 1/2 of his visit so he spent the majority of that 1/2 of the visit with them. Totally understandable. His brothers live across the country and he sees them once a year if he's lucky.

 

Our original plan was for me to fly down on Feb 25-March 2 to spend his bday with him (his bday is Feb 27). We planned this before we got his schedule for this semester. Well, those dates can't happen due to some HUGE tests we found out about that have been scheduled on March 1 and 2. We mutually agreed that even though it sucks I won't be there for his bday- it'd be better if I flew down on March 4th-9th when he'd actually have time to spend with me rather than him studying for my entire visit.

 

This is where it gets icky.

 

My bf's best friend wants to fly down on March 6-March 12. He is also going to bring his gf (who I CAN NOT STAND. We clash. Badly. We've had minor spats in the past. She is negative. Never has anything nice to say about anyone/anything). This means our stays will overlap. And his best friend wants to stay in my bf's apartment with us (along with his negative Nelly gf) for his entire stay. My bf's apartment is TINY. VERY tiny.

 

So basically I am irritated. I already had to "share" my bf a lot over his last break. And now I'm going to have to share him again in March. I know that sounds terrible, but I don't want to share him this time. We only see each other 8 or so weeks out of the year and I want some time for just him and I.

 

I almost want to ask if he could ask his best friend to come a different week. I feel terrible saying it, but it's how I feel.

 

Am I justified in making this request? I doubt I will anyway. It just sucks.

 

I really think your boyfriend should just tell his friend he already has plans for that week so they need to reschedule their visit to another date. Also, why does his friend automatically assume it is ok to stay in his tiny place with his girlfriend instead of making sleeping arrangements elsewhere?

 

...and you are justified in asking... I think your bf should have thought of this and done this on his own personally.

 

As for Negative Nelly, she must have some huge insecurity problems that she has to spend all of her time picking everyone and everything apart in order to make herself feel better. The girl isn't a happy camper with a negative attitude like that.

[EricaH329]

I, too, feel you are justified in feeling the way you do.

 

What I don't understand, is when your boyfriend told his best friend that you will be there also... why he didn't decide to reschedule?

 

Anyway, i'd suggest mentioning it to him. And, if he decides not to reschedule, I would still 'bowl', but i'd make it a very loud 'bowling' session. One that makes them so uncomfortable that they will know not to visit when your visiting again!

[Romance]

I would ask the friend to change his dates. I mean, it seems like it'd be really fun if you liked the gf. but since you don't..that will be no fun

[SophieA]

I would ask the friend to change his dates. I mean, it seems like it'd be really fun if you liked the gf. but since you don't..that will be no fun

 

 

Not so fun sharing a 350 sq ft apartment with anyone other than your s/o. They'd hear us "bowling" all night/day/afternoon, as RC and Scrapper like to say!

[hoping2heal]

I agree with Erica and Sparkling. He should of already on his OWN told his friend to reschedule. He needs to start making you a priority SophieA.

 

You have already been together..isn't it something like 6 years or so? If not now, when?

[SophieA]

Just got an email forward from bf and in it he kindly asked his friend if he could make it a different week.

 

Friend said he doesn't even have a passport (hello!) and probably won't have the $ to get one in time anyway. Says he'll try for May instead.

 

Problem solved! .. but thanks everyone!

[SophieA]

I agree with Erica and Sparkling. He should of already on his OWN told his friend to reschedule. He needs to start making you a priority SophieA.

 

You have already been together..isn't it something like 6 years or so? If not now, when?

 

 

Yes 6 years.

 

I would have felt like a total a$$ asking him to have his friend reschedule. So I am glad he asked without me even mentioning it.

[SophieA]

Aww and he just sent me an email explaining how asked his friend to resched b/c he wants it to be our own romantic getaway and he has "big plans" for when I come down!!

 

We were thinking the same thing after all

[hoping2heal]

Aww and he just sent me an email explaining how asked his friend to resched b/c he wants it to be our own romantic getaway and he has "big plans" for when I come down!!

 

We were thinking the same thing after all

 

Good boy! Glad it has all worked out for the best

[Rollercoasterr]

Aww and he just sent me an email explaining how asked his friend to resched b/c he wants it to be our own romantic getaway and he has "big plans" for when I come down!!

 

We were thinking the same thing after all

 

I don't wanna be the one getting all giddy here too soon.

 

...but are you thinking what I'm thinking??? :love::love:!!!!

[Sparkling]

Aww and he just sent me an email explaining how asked his friend to resched b/c he wants it to be our own romantic getaway and he has "big plans" for when I come down!!

 

We were thinking the same thing after all

 

I LOVE happy endings! THIS is how a guy or girl treats the SO they love!

[SophieA]

I don't wanna be the one getting all giddy here too soon.

 

...but are you thinking what I'm thinking??? :love::love:!!!!

 

 

It is definitely a possibility!!!!!:love:

 

I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much though considering he has told me that he wants to wait until he is home for good to ask... (he'll be home for good this year in December.)