Guy I was seeing was in a LDR for two years!

[angel1025]

I started seeing this guy I met at my gym one year ago. We hit it off and I really liked him. He seemed to like me too, he was the one that did all the pursuing at first. him until So we hung out and surprisingly we had a great time/convo/chemistry... but then he would act distant. When I asked him why he didn't want to spend more time with me, after we hit it off, his response was, "who said I don't wanna spend time with you, maybe I'm just guarding because I don't want to be in a relationship right now"? So, I chose to believe him and and accept his reasons and we ended up having a casual relationship for the last year. I got suspicious when he traveled on some of his weekends off and would ask him if he was seeing someone long distance, but he told me NO! He said "I was way off base". He was seeing friends. To make a loooooooooooooong story short I found out he has had a long distance gf for two years! YES, 2yrs! I am so hurt and upset! Yes, he said he didn't want a relationship, but it was because he was already in one, not because he just didn't want one. I am sooo hurt, I don't cheat or have affairs. I grew to like him and now I feel like I never knew him at all. He lied repeatedly and used me because I was convenient when he couldn't be with his ld gf. Its so messed up! His ld gf is suppose to move here, should she know? I'm so upset about this!

[hoping2heal]

Should she know? Yes. Should you be the one to tell her? Well, even if you did tell her the chances of her believing a perfect stranger over her mr. wonderful of 2 years are slim. She may even go into denial mode and convince herself you MUST be lying. He will make you out to be a "crazy girl at the gym who relentlessly hit on him and wouldn't take no for an answer" he was able to lie and fool you both, he will just continue.

 

Hopefully sooner or later this scuz will be busted. I'm not saying you SHOULDN'T tell her, I'm saying I don't even know what to say about that and she most likely won't believe you. If you had some kind of more solid proof however, then yes I would definately expose him; not to get him back just to spare someone else from this womanizer.

[Rollercoasterr]

Would I tell her? Hell yes. I would. If someone breaks my heart I'll break theirs.

 

Will she believe you? Probably not. She's been seeing him for 2 years. If they've been LD for 2 years then they've got a lot of trust built up, not that he deserves it. She's going to fight this.

 

However, I may be off base, they may already have issues and you might just be the breaking point of an ice breaker. We don't know their relationship enough to tell.

 

Do what you feel like you should in your heart, but don't give this sleeze another second of your time.

[angel1025]

Thank you so much, Hoping2Heal and Rollercoaster!

 

I feel sooo used and sick about this. You are both right, he needs to be exposed! So my cousin contacted her facebook, this is what it said:

 

Hi M,

 

My name is Stephanie. You do not know me personally, I am the cousin of a girl your boyfriend Greg ***** knows. I found Greg's facebook and decided I had to contact you. I am very sorry to have to tell you but Greg has been very dishonest and playing both you and my cousin! This is all very true and not in any way shape or form some type of game. He met my cousin a year ago at their local gym and lied and said that he didn't have a girlfriend. They began hanging out and having a casual/sexual relationship. She got suspicious when he took a weekend trip to NY back in March and said he was visiting a guy friend he grew up with. Then in May she bumped into Greg while picking you up at thea irport and confronted him about who you were and he told her the two of you were "just friends" and that you were in town because your friend was getting married. They have had a sexual relationship on and off for the past year and every time she would ask him if he was seeing someone else or long distance he said "NO" and would completely deny it! I don't know how long you've been talking to him for sure but he has used my cousin and treated her really bad for the last year! She felt that you may have been his secret long distance girlfriend and she was the girl on the side! If this is the case, he is a PIG! The only thing he told my cousin was that he was "seeing" his ex girlfriend again a few months ago but that the girl lived here in town but it was not a relationship. Just recently, she finally got it out of him that he is seeing you from NY and that you would be moving down here soon. My cousin asked Greg if you knew about her as well and he said you did but not that the two of them had a sexual relationship. I'm sure he failed to mention that to you because then you would know of his cheating ways! Honestly, my cousin did not want me to contact you because she said eventually you will see him for who he really is on your own but I feel you have have a right to know and I would want someone to tell me! I'm sorry to have to write you this way and tell you these things because you seem like a very nice person and you do not deserve to be treated this way! I feel VERY badly for you and my cousin! You can decide for yourself what is best for you but I can rest knowing that you know the truth now about him. Please email me back if you have any questions or want more details, I would be happy to talk to you. Again, I'm really sorry to have to share this info. with you but feel its in your best interest. What you choose to do, is your choice and I pray for the both of you. I just want my cousin to have nothing else to do with this selfish liar!

Sincerely,

Stephanie

[angel1025]

She quickly responded to my cousin and asked her my name and said that she wanted to know everything!

 

My cousin's next replys:

 

Her name is A, Greg only lives a short distance from her. I'm sure he will try to deny all of this but all of it is very true. There is much more I could tell you, if you want to know, but I really don't want to put you through more hurt. My cousin has been very hurt by all of this and her mother is dying on top of it! Greg has no heart!!

 

Her next response: I need more info.

My cousin's reply:What other information are you interested in? By the way, I told my cousin that I wasn't going to contact you but I couldn't just sit back and let this guy hurt her and you! This has happened to me in the past and I know firsthand just how much it hurts!

 

My cousin's reply: The truth is they met a year ago at the gym and have had an ongoing casual/sexual relationship. Greg told her that he didn't have a girlfriend when all along it seems you have been his girlfriend long distance...that is why he could keep it hidden so well. Have you been his gf for the last year or more? Greg would never admit anything! She asked him several times if there was someone else and he denied it! She felt that he was being untruthful...and then when she saw the two of you at the airport and confronted him he claimed that you were just "friends" and in town for your friends wedding. She also said that he went to a wedding in July but wouldn't say who he took as his date. An aquaintance said that it was his gf from NY. When she asked him about it, he said that he was seeing his ex gf again but that she lived in MD, not NY! He has done nothing but feed her a bunch of lies and use her for sex for the last year! He is disgusting!!!!!!!! He is a user and all he cares about is his own selfish needs! I feel soooooo sorry for you! I am so sorry to have to tell you this stuff. I think that you and my cousin should talk.

 

Her response: Thank you for contacting me. I do not want to speak to P but thank you for the offer. I will confront Greg and go from there.

 

My cousin's last replies:

 

You're welcome. I am sorry that you had to find out this way. You both didn't deserve to be treated this way! I am really sorry that you and my cousin were played so terribly by this guy! He really thought he could get away with it! He has made my cousin feel horrible! No real man would do this to a woman. He is a loser!!

I don't want to tell you anything else to hurt you, M, cause I know how much hurt this guy has caused my cousin...but I have to tell you this and this is very bad. He use to ask her to do kinky things, and the worst part is when she was over his place in October and asked if he was still seeing his ex gf and he asked her "to define seeing" and that he hadn't had sex in 5 months... and then her Mom was in the hospital two days before Thanksgiving and she was at his house afterwards for support he wanted her to give him a blowjob! He said that blowing him wasn't considered cheating in his messed up mind!!! HE IS SCUM OF THE EARTH! I am really really sorry, M! I hope he gets what he deserves! I understand you not wanting to talk to my cousin. She would just be crying the whole time. I've had to hear her cry many nights and I can't take it anymore!! You both did nothing wrong but trust him! He is a piece of ****! If you need anything else, please contact me. I really hope you will be ok.

[angel1025]

I feel so taken by this guy. No matter even if he said he didn't want a relationship, he claimed he was SINGLE and he wasn't! He allowed me to hang out with him and sleep with him, knowing all along he had a long distance gf! I don't know if I will ever trust another guy again! Thank you both so much, Hoping2Heal and Rollercoaster for your support! You sound like you really understand and this helps a lot!

[Rollercoasterr]

As much as this will hurt the girl, you've been hurt too. But now she knows the truth, and if she chooses to believe it and not his lies she will be better off for it.

 

If may not seem like it right now, but I think you did the absolute right thing. This girl deserves to know. And honestly, he may have probably had a long distance girlfriend in MD, too!

[angel1025]

Rollercoaster,

 

What did you think of what my cousin wrote? I thought she was pretty gentle and very honest and open as much as possible with her everything. I got a text from him a few minutes ago and he said that she told him what my cousin wrote to her and he said he can no longer talk to me, or she will break it off! So, she is staying with him and moving in with him next week from NY! We are from MD, she is from NY. So, she was told and still wants to believe that he is good and be with him, but atleast she knows now. I guess maybe she is "the one" and he will do the right thing now that she knows?

[hoping2heal]

Rollercoaster,

 

What did you think of what my cousin wrote? I thought she was pretty gentle and very honest and open as much as possible with her everything. I got a text from him a few minutes ago and he said that she told him what my cousin wrote to her and he said he can no longer talk to me, or she will break it off! So, she is staying with him and moving in with him next week from NY! We are from MD, she is from NY. So, she was told and still wants to believe that he is good and be with him, but atleast she knows now. I guess maybe she is "the one" and he will do the right thing now that she knows?

 

LOL oh lawdy. Well you did the right thing, and she may not be very smart but that is no longer you. I'm with a man for TWO years and he spends ONE whole year of those two using another girl for sex and lying to her? HA. He'd be getting his walking papers right quick. I really feel badly for these people who put themselves in such utter crap relationships. Talk about desperate, good grief.

[Rollercoasterr]

I think your cousin handled it very well.

 

I think the girl is dumber than a rock. In an LDR you have to have an elevated sense of trust. He broke that trust. If this were me, my whole world would be shattered. I mean, what else is there that she doesn't know about???? I'm sure there are more things, other than you. But maybe they are meant to be together. Maybe she has her wrongs. Maybe their LDR wasn't the same as those of people I've met on here. Time will tell.

 

But at least he isn't your problem anymore. You did your part, and I think you did your part well. Your cousin did very good, she broke the news to her in a softer way than what some people would have.

 

All you can do now is move on with your life and let them destroy each other. People who cheat make me sick.

[angel1025]

LOL oh lawdy. Well you did the right thing, and she may not be very smart but that is no longer you. I'm with a man for TWO years and he spends ONE whole year of those two using another girl for sex and lying to her? HA. He'd be getting his walking papers right quick. I really feel badly for these people who put themselves in such utter crap relationships. Talk about desperate, good grief.

 

Hoping2Deal, we sound too much alike! If I was her, I would've kicked him to the curb and found a "real" man! I guess she thinks that he really loves her and she is fine that her boyfriend used another girl! I'm sure like you said he twisted things around and made it sound like it was all my fault. He must've admitted something, though, for her to say that he can no longer be friends with me, not that I would want to. I'm sure he said we were together only a few times and I didn't mean anything to him, it was just sex... he loves her blah blah blah! You are right, it sounds very desperate to me. There aren't any great guys in NY? I just feel sorry for her that she thinks he is worth leaving her hometown and her precious family and friends for him! Who knows, maybe he bought her a ring and promised her the world?? I'd throw the ring in the trash! Thanks sweetgirl, for your kind words and support! You're awesome! Where are you from? I'm from MD.

[Rollercoasterr]

But more than likely he's told her that you're some poor pathetic girl that's got a crush on him and that he was being your friend to do you a favor. He's probably making you out to be crazy because crazy people do crazy things.

 

He needs to have his balls removed with a spoon.

[angel1025]

I think your cousin handled it very well.

 

I think the girl is dumber than a rock. In an LDR you have to have an elevated sense of trust. He broke that trust. If this were me, my whole world would be shattered. I mean, what else is there that she doesn't know about???? I'm sure there are more things, other than you. But maybe they are meant to be together. Maybe she has her wrongs. Maybe their LDR wasn't the same as those of people I've met on here. Time will tell.

 

But at least he isn't your problem anymore. You did your part, and I think you did your part well. Your cousin did very good, she broke the news to her in a softer way than what some people would have.

 

All you can do now is move on with your life and let them destroy each other. People who cheat make me sick.

 

Thanks, Rollercoaster for your support for me and my situation. You are right, there is so much that she doesn't know about him, I'm sure...me, too, as well...but I found out enough to know that he isn't a "good one" and definitely not worth leaving home for. Nothing or no one is perfect but she nor I deserved his lies. She is believing him the way that I did, but we gave her a lot of proof and she knows that my cousin would not have known all those things if they weren't true. And, he must've admitted some fault, I'm sure not much, LOL, but some, because he texted me and said, "I can no longer talk to you or she will break it off". So, she knows now and is willing to accept him still and live with him and move forward. Better woman than me.

 

There were so many more harsher things my cousin could've said, but I didn't want to hurt her any more than I'm sure she already was...he had unprotected sex with me, yes I got checked by my doctor and I'm ok, thank, God..but it wasn't any big deal to him that he could sleep with me without a condom, then be with her, I'm having a tough time dealing with that...I admit I was wrong. It wasn't only a few times, but a few times too many because I put my life in his sick hands. He asked me to do many kinky things, things I never even heard of before. Now she can deal with that.

 

What did you mean when you said "leave them to destroy each other"? Just curious. I told him that I am sorry that I ever met him, if I could take it back, I would! I truly hate him! I know hate is bad, but thats how hurt I am right now. You are truly great support, I'm so glad I found this forum.

[angel1025]

But more than likely he's told her that you're some poor pathetic girl that's got a crush on him and that he was being your friend to do you a favor. He's probably making you out to be crazy because crazy people do crazy things.

 

He needs to have his balls removed with a spoon.

 

LOL OUCH!! That sounds very painful, LOL...but something I would love to watch! Oh, I'm sure he through me under the bus and tried to make himself look good. Excuse the poor girl for liking him and believing his lies! I was a fool but he's a BIG LOSER!