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Men: What's with the lingering eye contact?

Ruby Slippers

By Ruby Slippers,
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Ruby Slippers

Ruby Slippers

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I was on the train today, and this guy (cute guy :D) kept looking at me. He would hold my gaze for like 5 seconds, then look away. He did this four or five times, during a 10-minute train ride. Then it was my stop, so I got off the train.

 

He did not approach me or make conversation.

 

If he had no interest or intent, why the repeated lingering eye contact?

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CaliGuy

CaliGuy

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I was on the train today, and this guy (cute guy :D) kept looking at me. He would hold my gaze for like 5 seconds, then look away. He did this four or five times, during a 10-minute train ride. Then it was my stop, so I got off the train.

 

He did not approach me or make conversation.

 

If he had no interest or intent, why the repeated lingering eye contact?

 

He's working on his confidence. He's not quite there yet or he'd say something.

 

Ruby, as often as you get hit on, you should send me your picture so I know what the other boys are gawking at ;)

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CaliGuy

CaliGuy

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Because obviously he thought you were cute. That doesn't necessarily mean he wants to talk to you.

 

Ummm you don't make that kind of eye contact without being interested enough to want to talk.

 

He had SOME b*lls, just not enough to approach her.

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Peter Attis

Peter Attis

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It was twenty seconds over a ten-minute train ride. That's not that much.

 

Not everyone who thinks somebody is attractive will want to talk to them. They could just think that person is cute and keep it moving.

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carhill

carhill

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Prior explanations are likely better but I've caught myself doing exactly the same thing when traveling when a woman reminds me of an past lover or someone I was in love with. It's like a little shock and then I keep checking back to see if it's the same 'aura' or not. Sometimes people have 'twins' but never IME the same aura.

 

Such is a rare event for myself (what the OP described) but probably more normal for other men. Life goes on :)

 

BTW, the reverse has happened as well. Absent signs of interest, I write it off to a curious moment in life, then check to see if there was a booger hanging out or something ;)

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Marek

Marek

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If he had no interest or intent, why the repeated lingering eye contact?
Clearly he liked what he saw. But there are many reasons why he didn't approach. When girls eye and smile at me in public I never approach. And that's due to the following:
  1. It's inappropriate to "chat-up" girls outside of established social venues (i.e. bars, parties...)
  2. I'm don't have the verbal dexterity to do such a thing
  3. I don't have the confidence

Did you give him any reason to approach? (e.g. a shy smile and then quickly looking down.) If you just glanced at him impassively he may have not seen as invitation to approach.

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Phateless

Phateless

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I was on the train today, and this guy (cute guy :D) kept looking at me. He would hold my gaze for like 5 seconds, then look away. He did this four or five times, during a 10-minute train ride. Then it was my stop, so I got off the train.

 

He did not approach me or make conversation.

 

If he had no interest or intent, why the repeated lingering eye contact?

 

He was too intimidated to talk to you. He probably assumed you were out of his league. Did you smile while holding his gaze? I've had girls call me out when I do that by saying hello or waving playfully.

 

I like that cuz it's like they're teasing me for not speaking up. :)

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Awesome Username

Awesome Username

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He probably thought you were cute, but thought that a short bus ride wasn't enough time to properly throw down some game.

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Sam Spade

Sam Spade

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He probably thought you were cute, but thought that a short bus ride wasn't enough time to properly throw down some game.

 

Haha, you're a dork!:):love:

But I agree - there is no point in overanalyzing this:rolleyes:. I've that every once in a while - if she's fun to look at, I look :lmao:. The bus, crowded or not, is one of the worst possible place to randomly approach, so might at least take a good look before whoever gets off first gets off :laugh:. No pun intended but it stays :lmao:.

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BobSacamento

BobSacamento

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haha I did that today with a girl on my train. The fun is when you catch them looking at you and they look away flustered or pretending to be busy. I would have gone up to her after the ride but I was on a business trip.

 

BTW where were you headed ? lol

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2sunny

2sunny

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sometimes i do this if someone is attractive or has interesting features that i want to appreciate.

 

sometimes i'm just watching a person's body language - a public place like that is prime pickings for that.

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Ruby Slippers

Ruby Slippers

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Vertex, I wish I could show y'all a picture, but I have found that I tend to attract Internet stalkers. :o Not saying anyone here would be :lmao:, but I gotta be smart.

 

Give me a buzz if you're ever in Chi-town, though. :cool:

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b52s

b52s

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Clearly he liked what he saw. But there are many reasons why he didn't approach. When girls eye and smile at me in public I never approach. And that's due to the following:

  1. It's inappropriate to "chat-up" girls outside of established social venues (i.e. bars, parties...)
  2. I'm don't have the verbal dexterity to do such a thing
  3. I don't have the confidence

Did you give him any reason to approach? (e.g. a shy smile and then quickly looking down.) If you just glanced at him impassively he may have not seen as invitation to approach.

 

I wouldn't say it is inappropriate to chat outside of women outside of social venues, in fact I know of guys that do it all the time.

 

In a line at a grocery store, in a line anywhere else...bookstores are a great place....if there was some cutie in front of me in line, I'd chat her up.

 

Now he probably thought he did need a reason other than just introducing himself and nothing more...so that's probably why he didn't approach.

 

Sometimes guys have to make up their own reason to approach.

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Left in a Lurch

Left in a Lurch

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In a line at a grocery store, in a line anywhere else...bookstores are a great place....if there was some cutie in front of me in line, I'd chat her up.

 

Yeah but some guys in line would smile and say "Hey looks like you have a lot of stuff, where's the party" and the woman would say, "Ha ha ha, no just shoping, ha ha ha. You should come over I am making a great meatloaf, ha ha ha".

 

Other's would smile and say the same thing and get, "What? What are you talking about? Mind your own business. What I buy is not your concern. Jerk." and then go to another line.

 

Each to their own.

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spacecowboy

spacecowboy

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He wanted to let you know he like you, but was not confident enough to talk to you. Maybe he expected you to make the first move, but that would be all wrong for a woman. He may think you were too easy.

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xpaperxcutx

xpaperxcutx

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Sometimes there are actually really interesting people on the trains or buses. I always can't help looking at certain people ( a girl in some flattering dress, or a guy with a cool swagger) and then I get absolutely flustered if they stare back.

 

It's wrong to stare, but if you attracted a guy's attention then you should be confident that you can get that sort of attention.;)

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Yukikazi

Yukikazi

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Ruby.. myself being one of the long look EL riders..

Yea don't look too much into it.. unless I got something to read.. my eyes will wander. If I see a cute girl I'll look at her. If she looks back she looks back.. if she doesn't she doesn't.

 

I see plenty of cute or hot women on the EL.. just because they catch me looking doesn't mean I'm interested enough to go talk to them. I may just be enjoying the view. Oh and knowing the el's.. unless its like halloween when you got the drunken revelers or a cubs/sox game with more drunks, its a really ****ty place to try to pick up a girl..

 

I'll look but just because I don't approach you on the el doesn't mean anything. You could be eye candy for the trip from Belmont to Clark/Lake and no more. *shrug*

 

When we smile and you smile back.. then the dynamic is changed but don't expect any openers while on an el full of people. Most can't make the impression thats needed in span between el stops.

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Johnny M

Johnny M

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Some people's capacity for over-analyzing totally trivial occurrences never ceases to amaze me. OP, if you really wanted to know why the guy glanced at you, maybe you should have asked him....instead of asking us.

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