KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 (edited) This is a crazy situation. I had just broken up with my ex boyfriend and i was suffering a lot when this wonderful guy came into my life. I knew i was not ready for a relationship because i was not over my ex. He knew this and insisted. This man treated me like gold and was there for me at all times. He really helped me during the darkest moments in my life. However because of the pain i was going through i could not reciprocate my feelings. He said it didnt matter that he still wanted to be there. I was not very nice to him. I was just stressed and never noticed the nice gestures he made. Well i did but i couldnt fully appreciate them because i was hurting from my ex. After 8 months he asked me to be his girl but i kept being a jerk i wasnt fully over my ex. I know i shouldnt have said yes Eventually the pain healed I am better now....just as he is starting to let go. I know i hurt him but it was because i was angry from the ex and i know i would take my frustrations out on him when it was not his fault. I started falling in love with him. Now he is letting go. He doesnt call me like he used to nor is he excited to spend time with me. He says no his feelings have not changed but he said its just that he doesnt know what happened. He says he just needs to get rid of the "the bad feelings he has when i hurt him" I told him i am sorry that i am in love with him. He says he loves me to...but says he doesnt know what happened. He says he tried for so long and i never cared. I dont know what to do. I LOVE THIS MAN. he is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I have been acting crazy lately crying telling him i love him.. that im sorry i didnt appreciate all the good he did. He is nice and says dont cry its not your fault. I know you were not well. Still he is the same.... distant....i dont think he loves me anymore and i just am freaking out and i keep calling him and texting him. I know im making things worse. Guys please help me. I cant lose this man. I JUST CANT!!! Should i just back off and give him space. ...but what if i lose him???? Edited January 10, 2010 by KATEYES Link to post Share on other sites
hoping2heal Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Well Kat, sometimes crap just happens. You can't force a person to be with you. No matter how you feel, if they don't feel the same way back that is really the very first indicator that it isn't right for you. Secondly, what flipped the switch? How long ago would you say you stopped taking him for granted and treating him badly? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 I stopped taking him for granted about 2 weeks ago. Just as he was letting go. I already loved him but i didnt know i was in love with him .Then as i was changing and trying harder in the relationship he is distant. He says he still loves me but he just needs to "get rid of the bad feelings he has" i dont know what the hell that means. I just dont want him to fall out of love but maybe he already has ;( We are not broken up we are still together but im afraid its going to head there ;( Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Hm, I just got out of a relationship (3 months ago) with a girl like you times 100 fold... and she burned me bad b/c she wasn't over her ex. She led me on and was MEAN & verbally abusive to me... UGH. You're not leading him on, from what I dwell. Ugh.. I can't answer this. My thoughts are biased. I'm sorry hun... good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 Somebody help me. Should i give him space. Stop calling texting. What??? what do i do??? Bananaboat11...im sorry is all i can say. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Somebody help me. Should i give him space. Stop calling texting. What??? what do i do??? Bananaboat11...im sorry is all i can say. Give him space. you love him now. I'm sure he loves you. He needs space. I would. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 ok. So i guess i should just wait until he comes to me. Ok i will do that thanks bananaboat 11. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 And honestly.. as much as I want to push out my ex from my life for all the hurt she caused... I'm sick mentally b/c of her.. I truly, truly, truly hope one day (from the bottom of my heart) she becomes what you are now. I loved her once... I think I always will. I have plenty of room to love another and hope to again in time w/ healing... and this is what your boy needs... ...the callous nature of things... the hurt.. it is HEARTWRENCHING.... it can still a beating heart... and extinguish a burning soul. My eyes bleed... love him like you've never loved anyone else when he gives you that chance. PLEASE! give him time to miss you... he will. He's been with you this long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 oh i am so sorry. This makes me cry reading what you wrote. I can see how much pain you have and the pain i have probably caused my boyfriend. IF HE GIVES ME THE CHANCE I WILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART BECAUSE HE IS A GOOD MAN!! I am sure you are too and you will find that woman that will feel like this about you. I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 oh i am so sorry. This makes me cry reading what you wrote. I can see how much pain you have and the pain i have probably caused my boyfriend. IF HE GIVES ME THE CHANCE I WILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART BECAUSE HE IS A GOOD MAN!! I am sure you are too and you will find that woman that will feel like this about you. I know it. Thank you I wish you both the best. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 oh i am so sorry. This makes me cry reading what you wrote. I can see how much pain you have and the pain i have probably caused my boyfriend. IF HE GIVES ME THE CHANCE I WILL LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART BECAUSE HE IS A GOOD MAN!! I am sure you are too and you will find that woman that will feel like this about you. I know it. Because you love him, you need to let him sort this out. I am glad you will give him the time and space he needs to heal from being hurt. Sounds like he does love you but still feels the sting of the past. Give him a few weeks or so, then give him a call to smooth things over. Make sure in the meanwhile that you also think things over and are confident that you will treat him a little better....and yourself with the greatest of care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 yes ok. i will sooo do this. I will let him have his space. I wont call or text him...but im soo afraid of losing him. He is such a great guy. I was such a fool!! Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 yes ok. i will sooo do this. I will let him have his space. I wont call or text him...but im soo afraid of losing him. He is such a great guy. I was such a fool!! G-d I hope I hear those words from my ex... Good luck hun As a guy who is in HIS position... I don't think he will right away... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 you dont think he will what right away? Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 you dont think he will what right away? stop loving you. My ex and I were together almost 5 months... and then she broke up with me over facebook the day after getting back together with me from a week's space. she went home.. and I suspect saw her ex... b/c now they're back together. Anyhow... I still have feelings for her even if it's been 3 months no contact and the 3 times (twice during the first week since break up - I was stupid to beg/plead and once 3 weeks post break up w/ NC established, I broke the NC and she pushed me away further...)... yet, I still possess these feelings. I don't think he will stop caring about you right away. Link to post Share on other sites
HLP234 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 And honestly.. as much as I want to push out my ex from my life for all the hurt she caused... I'm sick mentally b/c of her.. I truly, truly, truly hope one day (from the bottom of my heart) she becomes what you are now. I can hope and say the same for my ex, even though what she did and how she just left me without any word hurts like hell. I can't even get over that, rather than get over her. I'm not hoping for anything, but for her to realize how much it hurt me..which you don't know if that will ever happen. No matter how many times people will tell me she is not right because of what she did and how she went about it, all the pain she caused..I still do love her. I would just give him the space he said he wants..he should get back to you hopefully on what he wants to do..if not then that would be cruel, that's what happen to me and I don't like it one bit. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 And mind you... this piece of sh*t man of an ex was with her for 4 years... cheated on her for the last 2 of them. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I can hope and say the same for my ex, even though what she did and how she just left me without any word hurts like hell. I can't even get over that, rather than get over her. I'm not hoping for anything, but for her to realize how much it hurt me..which you don't know if that will ever happen. No matter how many times people will tell me she is not right because of what she did and how she went about it, all the pain she caused..I still do love her. I would just give him the space he said he wants..he should get back to you hopefully on what he wants to do..if not then that would be cruel, that's what happen to me and I don't like it one bit. Us good guys who were burned by insecure, low-self esteem women should start a support group thread on these forums... b/c these types of women are TOXIC and HAZARDOUS to our emotions, our hearts, and our sense of self. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 You guys i will apologize for all these women. You guys are good guys and we women are stupid because we like the loser bad boy types. Damn...i hope its not too late for me. I hope he hasnt fallen out of love. It scares me when he says "i dont know what happened..i love you but i just need to get rid of these bad feelings" Ohhhh man!! Link to post Share on other sites
HLP234 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Yeh I second that. I don't know why, just because you have treated them nicely and different than everyone else, they have to get confused, say they dunno what they want, most likely confine in someone else. I knew her for 5 years, we were very close, and talked all the time. This guy she is with now (her best friend), she's only known for about a year and some how she said that they have an awesome connection. Oh well, at least I did nothing wrong, it could have worked out if she would have decided to talk things out and stuff but no. But I have learned to watch for signs in other women like this, even though everyone is different, at least I have learned something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 This is the thing guys. We women are crazy. We sometimes take things for granted. When a woman starts stepping all over you....BACK OFF IMMEDIATELY! If you dont she will continue to be a jerk. In other words show a woman everything you have to offer and once she starts treating you like dirt take everything you put on the table back and put it back in your pocket. No more flowers, no more sweet words, compliments. no more calling to leave messages or to chat. CUT HER OFF!!!! Believe me IF she has love for you this will scare the crap out of her. She will want all those things back. OMG i cant believe im telling you guys this. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 This is the thing guys. We women are crazy. We sometimes take things for granted. When a woman starts stepping all over you....BACK OFF IMMEDIATELY! If you dont she will continue to be a jerk. In other words show a woman everything you have to offer and once she starts treating you like dirt take everything you put on the table back and put it back in your pocket. No more flowers, no more sweet words, compliments. no more calling to leave messages or to chat. CUT HER OFF!!!! Believe me IF she has love for you this will scare the crap out of her. She will want all those things back. OMG i cant believe im telling you guys this. ...and that's why I believe she won't be back. My ex is gone. Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Well, men tend not to hold grudges like we women do, and I think overall they are more forgiving too, so he will probably contact you after awhile if you don't act psycho... This is a good lesson for you though...don't CR..P on a GOOD man! And the pity is, they then get bitter and jaded and ruined for a good woman who comes along later. Some even turn into players... Took me 2 years to break through the hard shell my husband put around his heart because of his vicious EX. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 10, 2010 Author Share Posted January 10, 2010 Was she ever remorseful??? Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Was she ever remorseful??? I do not know... we've been in no contact for 3 months. the only thing I do know is by accident I saw her posts on a mutual friend's FB wall. She had blocked me the day she dumped me via facebook. Apparently a few days ago, she's unblocked me... yet a friend of mine she didn't like and was jealous of is still blocked. I have not heard from her... I have not asked the mutual friends about her... i've heard nothing of her... Yet.. my heart still sings for her, but I can never let her know it. It will only feed her sick ego. Link to post Share on other sites
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