Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 Aww what a beautiful post. Wow...you are such a sweetheart. Im sorry that you got hurt bananaboat ;( I can only imagine how sweet you were to this girl. Yes we can exchange info. Yes i am like a friggin phoenix rising from the ashes.....too bad i had to hurt people in order to take flight again. I hope i dont lose this man. You know just as i healed you will to heal..BELIEVE ME. It took me 6 months to heal from a 5 year relationship. In part because i had my angel to help me....but i did it. You will too. Like you said YOU ARE A MAN... NOW MORE THAN EVER!!! ***Austen thanks for the support. No i have not read that book. Maybe i will cop me a copy. Thanks for the recommendation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 Im tired of this s*hit!! He called last night. I didnt call him and he calls around 10.... only for the conversation to be awkward. We both just talked about things here and there and in between a bunch of silence. The silence led me to start questioning again. Whats wrong? Why are you like this and so on. After that tears from me and him saying please dont cry i dont know why im like this. Then me saying i want to break up. I dont know him anymore. Him saying NO. Why is he with me if he doesnt feel the same. I am just getting hurt. I cant do this sh*t!! I just recovered from one broken heart and now for it to be hurting again. No i dont think so. I dont know what else to do. The conversation went on until 4 in the morning. Im so tired im sure hes tired. Geez some people can really hold grudges. Im not like that. I can bounce back after ive been wronged if i see the other person is remorseful but i guess not everyone is like me From now on im not going to be sweet anymore. Cause at this point im angry. If he doesnt want me he should let me go!!! Link to post Share on other sites
New_Life08 Posted January 14, 2010 Share Posted January 14, 2010 Welcome to Karma. Maybe he has a gf and is not telling you for fear of hurting you? Maybe he is letting you stew in your juices like he had to do for so long? Or maybe he is afraid that you are living in the moment and your feelings are not sincere. Whatever the case, begging is not sexy, it is needy and ultimately a turn-off. You are asking a question that you already know the answer to. Back off and leave him to what he needs....time to think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 That was harsh....but honest. yes ok i will let him be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 I know i f*cked up but if you cant forgive someone...let them go!! Im not calling him anymore AT ALL!!! fu*ck this!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 In my mind im taking it like its over... cause thats where this is headed. Im not gonna try anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 14, 2010 Author Share Posted January 14, 2010 Im so hurt and angry at myself, at him, at my ex. Im sorry so sorry for all the pain i have caused both of us. I WILL LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 15, 2010 Share Posted January 15, 2010 Im so hurt and angry at myself, at him, at my ex. Im sorry so sorry for all the pain i have caused both of us. I WILL LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! Be strong... I was burned by a bitch who had A LOT of emotional problems... you're not a bitch w/ a lot of emotion problems. He'll realize that soon.... Be strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 16, 2010 Author Share Posted January 16, 2010 ok bananaboat. I WILL BE STRONG!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Good! AND smile. Haven't heard from you yet but feel free to email me if you need to talk. ok bananaboat. I WILL BE STRONG!!! Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 I really feel you still have a chance with him, but your emotional intensity is going to be the final dose of poison here if anything will be. You started the phone convo at 10 pm and ended at 4 am? That is not good. No one wants to be put through a "ringer" like that, and will eventually decide, no matter how much they love someone, that it is not worth all that drama. For your own good, STOP being such a "drama mama". Why can you not just settle down a bit and "let things be and flow"? Not meaning to be harsh, but you are shooting your own foot off because you refuse to learn the laws of hunting!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 We all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up. But you do need to realize that there is a point that people do become damaged for good in a relationship. We are only human. Another poster mentioned that you did not show your feelings until he started to let go. Now you want it. Is this an "I want what I cannot have" senario? If so, let him go so that he can be truly happy with someone who really loves him. Work on yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
oneheart Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 I agree with Dazzle22 completely. KATEYES stop panicking! Please.... come here... have a hug and breathe! Crikey girl you are frightening me! You need to calm down. No matter what the outcome of this situation you are still going to be alright.. really, you are - so many of us on here have been where you are and come out ok breathing, seeing the sunrise every day... things will make you laugh again honestly! Beyond this situation is a great and caring girl. That's you. Just you. Nothing to do with anyone.... you are who you are. Take a look at yourself. You are loveable. You have been loved before and will be loved again.... I KNOW how intense this all feels. I have been there. If every time you speak to him you turn into a panicky mess - it's not showing this guy the very best you can be. Think about how you like to handle this.... or someone you admire and how they would handle it. Write down a plan of action to make sure you know what to do when the panic and crisis feeling sets in. Think of your goal... how you want to be... and be that person. You can do it! So many of us believe you can! I don't think you can be angry with him. You can be upset about what's happened but he hasn't done anything deliberately to hurt you. I think if you have just got over your ex you may feel that you are actually in the process of losing 2 people. OUCH! But I still think there is a chance this could work as long as you stop panicking... calm down and show yourself some love. You can't force this one so in the meantime - think positively.. get a plan going and do the things that make you happy. xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Well its over. ;( Hes all confused and im tired of everything. Im letting it go ;( He wanted time apart but at the same time he didnt. So i decided for both of us......I SAID ITS OVER!! ;( Im so sad...;( Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Well its over. ;( Hes all confused and im tired of everything. Im letting it go ;( He wanted time apart but at the same time he didnt. So i decided for both of us......I SAID ITS OVER!! ;( Im so sad...;( I'm sorry sweetie. Love always finds a way if it were meant to be... take a no contact... and let him find you (if he does...) At least you didn't use him for a rebound, like I was... In his heart, i'm sure he loves you... that will never die. He's confused. But now is the time for YOU to be strong and reflect on YOU to be a better person, a better lover, a better partner, a better you... make this is a reality! Be free to love again! -Rob Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Rob is right. What a nice guy, and as per usual, his heart has been ripped to shreds by a mean girl. It is kind of a pity, but you were making everything so toxic, that the break is probably best for now. You are being faced with some of love's hardest lessons with this experience. One major lesson is learning how to just "sit and be patient" and to be 'ok" with uncertain situations and let them evolve and play out naturally without "forcing" things. Another is, don't follow a guy "into his cave" when he is retreating. They do that, they need to do that, they always come out, if you don't follow them like a crazed chimpanzee... Lesson for next time... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Yes Dazzle and bananaboat. A Lot of lessons learned. We had one last talk he called about an hour ago...and told me he loves me and will miss me with all his heart. I told him i will too. He told me to take care of myself and that he is going to try to figure stuff out. He said he was sorry for all this... i said i was sorry. I told him i love him sooo much. He said he does too. He told me that he wants the two of us to get better from all the sh*t of the past. I said i do too. He said if we are not together on Valentines day to think of him because he will be sending me all his love ;( Valentines day is a month away. I guess this means its going to be a while. So in essense it sounds like its a break. He also said not to forget him...i said NEVER ;( Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 I'M sorry kat. BE strong. On my phone forgive the grammar. WIll respond more later. Smile. I can't wait to love and be loved Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Thanks BANANABOAT...OR Rob... Thanks for always checking in on me. Man im so sad right now. soooo in love with this man. I dont even know how im going to get through this ;( Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Thanks BANANABOAT...OR Rob... Thanks for always checking in on me. Man im so sad right now. soooo in love with this man. I dont even know how im going to get through this ;( Be strong. Know that I bet you the way I love my cold, cruel, heartless, mean, abusive, insecure, did I say heartless ex girlfriend... I bet he feels the same for you.... ...be proactive with yourself now. Invest time into your studies... your friends.. your family... your hobbies... working out... remain positive.. do positive.. be positive! I did.. and it's working for me. The flux of emotions ... the ups and downs are normal. Be strong and stick to the no contact. Regardless of what happens you will STILL come out on top. I was used physically... abused emotionally be a low-self esteem girl who doesn't know how to cope with a 'real' relationship... yet retreats back to an abusive boyfriend who has cheated on her... I feel disgusting.. low... demoralized... yet, I still manage to stay on top by trying to be positive! You can do it Kat And thanks Dazzle... I hope I don't carry these scars so open on my forehead for long... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Awww Rob ;( Why do these things happen to good people. People like you. People like my boyfriend ;( people like me who was also mistreated by my ex. This life is so strange. You Rob WILL love again. I KNOW IT!! Look at me loving again....after being so hurt by my ex. It took 6 months Rob.....of A LOT of pain. My guy says he hates my ex he says he hates him for hurting me and for hurting him also ;( Yes Rob i will better myself. I guess i am in NC AGAIN!! I was in NC with my ex...damn the darkest moments in my life. This is different this hurts more in a way because this man is worth it!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Awww Rob ;( Why do these things happen to good people. People like you. People like my boyfriend ;( people like me who was also mistreated by my ex. This life is so strange. You Rob WILL love again. I KNOW IT!! Look at me loving again....after being so hurt by my ex. It took 6 months Rob.....of A LOT of pain. My guy says he hates my ex he says he hates him for hurting me and for hurting him also ;( Yes Rob i will better myself. I guess i am in NC AGAIN!! I was in NC with my ex...damn the darkest moments in my life. This is different this hurts more in a way because this man is worth it!!!! The beautiful thing is... you see it before it's too late. My ex was blind to see how truly amazing I am. I don't think she'll ever recognize it.. she's too damaged from her past... used me as nothing more than a rebound... sex, sex, sex... she knows she hurt me and she has to live with that. Her own pride precedes EVERYTHING else... You are truly amazing... and I forgive you. I needed to say that. Remember though... positive influences in your life... and the outcome (with him or without) will only benefit you... ps - FML, I was the designated driver tonight and got ****ing pulled over (naught... 30 mins ago... no ticket tho. cop thanked me for DDing... that and the computer was down LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
Author KATEYES Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Your ex really was blind!!! I dont even know you and i see how great you are!!!! She had no right to use you!!! I was mean to my guy too...it happens...but atleast i can say i never used him. Thank you for the forgiveness. I hope my guy can forgive me someday. Wow...be careful. Im glad you are ok and that there was no ticket Rob....continue to be who you are. Dont let this woman turn you into someone mean. Above all LOVE YOURSELF though. If not people will step all over you. Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Your ex really was blind!!! I dont even know you and i see how great you are!!!! She had no right to use you!!! I was mean to my guy too...it happens...but atleast i can say i never used him. Thank you for the forgiveness. I hope my guy can forgive me someday. Wow...be careful. Im glad you are ok and that there was no ticket Rob....continue to be who you are. Dont let this woman turn you into someone mean. Above all LOVE YOURSELF though. If not people will step all over you. Oh, I used to be a very confident guy... I have been told I'd walk into the room and have this aura about me... (not trying to be conceited).. but since dating my ex... that confidence diminished. all she would compliment and want was the physical... never the companionship.. she would just talk, talk, talk... her ex was a big part of the talk... no communication. Thank you =) i love my facebook status now... People who intentionally rebound are disgusting, despicable excuses for human beings.. i'm sorry, but work on your self-esteem and get some respect for yourselves... It's gross for yourself... sooooooooo insuling and demeaning to the rebound person and disrespectful to your ex. Grow up. /rant damn.. I have to be in my lab @ 7 am... and up @ 6am.. I should probably go to bed soon heh. thank you for being kind to me even though you have your own emotional hardships Link to post Share on other sites
bananaboat11 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 And Kat, without sounding creepy... I feel a connection w/ you / I WANT to help you... because honestly.. YOU are the girl I wish my ex, nicole was... So thank you. Continue being incredible. I hope and pray that this all works out for you to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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