why do i feel guilt

[amilyah]

Well its been 2 months since my husband left me.He left me for ow.Last couple weeks been trying to get on with my life.Hubby hasnt even tried to contact me(but to the point i dont want him 2 anymore).I think if he tried i would ignore him.Well anyway ive met a few guys, went on a few dates but i feel guilty.Why i dont understand.Me and my ex was together 20 years,he left me.Why the hell do i feel gulty.

Im thinking i am just scared to move on be4 the divorce. A month ago i would have begged my stbxh back,now i dont want him back.I know if i took him back would never forgive him so i wouldnt even try.NOt to mention my family hates him and they have been here for me and helped me with money,it would hurt them if i took him back.So how can i get this damn guilty feeling to go away.Theres acually one guy i would really like to give a chance to but i keep pushing him away.He calls me everyday and all i do is make excuses to get off the phone.I need help........................................

[Woggle]

You are still hurting from this betrayel even if you don't want him back. I would stay single for a while before you jump back out there. Let yourself fully heal before you jump into something. As for feeling guilty don't. He cheated and left you which is not your fault. Take solace in the fact that this OW will probably dump him and he will end up all alone.

[TaraMaiden]

It's not guilt.

it's common sense.

You're rushing things.

you're in danger of falling into the 'rebound' trap.

Simply because your ex has moved on and found someone else, there's nothing written that you should do the same.

 

In fact, you would do yourself a greater favour if you concentrated everything on yourself right now.

Focus on both he practical consequences of now being on your own, independent and self-sufficient.

But focus on your own emotional stability, too.

You're still fragile from the betrayal and abandonment, and this is no way to find closure and healing.

 

Throwing yourself into the arms (and legs) of another man, is not the way.

And you know it.

That's why you're actually reluctant to do this.

So?

Don't.

 

It will come, when you're ready.

When will that be?

You'll know.

Just like you know now, that this is not the best way to go.

[amilyah]

I know you are both right.I acually almost slept with my first xh just because im feeling lonely.And i divorced him a long time ago.My first xh was abusive but he did love me he only hit me when he was drunk.I never would go back to that ,but he found out i was single again and showed up here.And thank god i told him to go back to his wife after we had all our clothes off and was just about to do it.I would have never forgiven myself if i broke up another marriage just because of my pain.But this other guy hes really into me.Im kinda scared if i wait he will be the one that got away.I know i should wait.Ive even told him what im going through.He is a really good friend.But i guess if is really that into me he would wait for me.He even knows ive been going out meeting people and hes still calls me .I just dont know.I dont want to lose him.But maybe hes just being a friend to me.

[rajugupta1977]

As per my knowledge u are right and you have all the right to live your life.Just go ahead and enjoy your life.....cheer up

[TaraMaiden]

Taking it slow, is the way to go.

Tell him you will NOT be rushed into these things, and if he's supportive of you, he will appreciate and understand that.

 

In the meantime, stop 'playing the field'.

Time to sit on the sidelines and gather your strength.

Commit to nobody, but yourself.

But don't leave yourself open to abuse and being used, either.

[amilyah]

I do know im so tired of this ****.How could this happen.20 years.He loved me.But yet met ow and just leaves me with nothing but bills.

He never would let me work,wanted me here when he got home.And then gets with her and leaves me to pay all the bills.He knows my parents will not let me lose our home but still not fair for them to have to pay for it.I dont even want him back.I just want him to step up and pay his share.He took all our money and bought a brand new truck.How can someone do this after so long with someone.Part of me thinks thats why im trying to move on so fast just to get even.But my parents tell me dont because he just dont care.HE could care less if im sleeping with 50 people.And i know they are right.But it still ****ing hurts.Part of me thinks when he hears i moved on he will start to think what hes about to lose.But i still wouldnt take him back.Im glad to be where i am.Never going back.Nc for almost 6 weeks,i am healing.If he did call me i would ignore.Thank you all for your advice i really dont know what i would have done without loveshack.It has helped me so much.