Spengles Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 I'm in a pretty confused state right now. I've been friends with a girl for a couple years now and only recently, I admitted my feelings for her. She had just gotten out of a serious relationship and she told me she didn't want to miss out on a good thing but she just needed a really good friend as of now. So that was fine with me. When I told her how I felt, I asked her to go out on a date with me. The next time we talked, she asked if I still would like to go out with her sometime. We've been really close friends for a long time. As of now, we spend alot of time talking to each other. We would stay up at night talking on the phone for hours. I always seem to get mixed reactions from her though. One night, I spent the night over at her house studying for a final. We were sitting on the couch and she fell asleep on me as I studied. Around 4 in the morn, she got up and we lied in her bed for the rest of the night. She ended up cuddling with me and putting her arms around me for the remaing hours. The next day, she told me that she was sorry and it was inappropriate of her. Another time, I was chatting with her and she was a little tipsy after drinking some wine. She began to tell me that I thought she was ugly (which is so far from the truth) and things like that. She asked me why I liked her and that insisted that I only liked her personality. She made mention of how she wanted me to want her and told me to tell her that I was attracted to her. I talked to her a little bit later and she asked what she had said. I told her and once again, she apologized and said that it was inappropriate of her to do so. We've been out to the movies by ourselves recently, and as always, she would lie her head on my shoulder. After a while, I just put my arm around her and she got closer. I sadly do no know what all this means. I think the world of this girl and she's always constantly on my mind. I care for her so much. Recently, I've begin to doubt whether I like her or that I just want to protect her. But maybe that's just me attempting to rationalize things and help me get over my attraction towards her. I read in another thread about how once a guy tells a girl that he likes her, it's still up to the guy to make the moves. I'm just so confused by all of this. The last thing I want to do is to lose my friendship to her but I just think that we would be great together. Is there any hope in this?? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 What happened when she told you she thought those things were 'inappropriate'? Did you ask her why? It's such an unusual word to use for those sorts of situations. Did she perhaps think that you might not be interested in her and therefore her forwardness was unwelcome? The answers to this might be a clue to what you do next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spengles Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 I guess I should've asked why.. She just kept on apologizing. Link to post Share on other sites
listener Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 just another thought Hello, The best way to get off of such situation is being a honest friend. 1) Tell her the way you feel. 2) Be very honest to yourself to admit her more than a friend. 3) No matter what kind of situation you will be in her side. Physical contacts is quite often, just take your distance so there will be no misunderstanding. Please, please don't make fast decision until you see her response. Making vivid images can hurt sometimes. ceeyaa. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted December 27, 2003 Share Posted December 27, 2003 I guess I should've asked why.. She just kept on apologizing. Did you reassure her? Tell her you didn't mind at all and in fact were glad it happened? What was your answer? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spengles Posted December 27, 2003 Author Share Posted December 27, 2003 I have told her the way I felt and I don't think she was ready for a serious relationship. I did tell her that it was all right and that I didn't mind. I just think that she meant innappropriate in that she shouldn't lead me on if she isn't sure herself. She has told me in the past that she always feels the urge to cuddle with me but when we had that conversation after I told her how I felt, she asked if it would be better for her to stop that. I told her that I didn't mind, but I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 hm...based on what you sed it's possible she's using you as a leaning post after getting out from a serious relationship and know that you like her, its possible she's just using you to fill in the space that her bf once used to fill. this is all too common and happens too often to us guys. i think this is the point where you should question her whether she really considers you just a friend or something more. make it clear and straight that she shouldnt send mixed signals if she's not intending for anytihng. just my 2 cents Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spengles Posted December 29, 2003 Author Share Posted December 29, 2003 http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html a "cuddle bitch" sounds all too familiar. I've seen a couple sites online dedicated to things like this. Rants about so called "nice guys" and such. Sad to say, alot of them sound too reasonable. Sometimes it's hard. I try to distance myself from her in an effort to move on but it's so hard. I try reasoning every single one of her actions but I find myself lost and confused. I really had hoped letting her know how I feel would clear alot of things up for me. I just don't want to put too much pressure on her because I know she's stressed out. I wish I just had a clear answer of what to do. Frustrating stuff.. Link to post Share on other sites
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