Taking it further

[LonelyGuy85]

I have been reading these boards for a long time now and the one consistent thing i read, whether it's in a post that i have started or in someone elses, is that if one part of the friendship feels anything more then it will never last as just a friendship. If you like a friend more than just a friend then that relationship will never be just a friendship if you decide to open that door.

 

The issue for me is that I have fallen for a girl that i consider my friend, and the reason i became such good friends with her was because we clicked so well; we make each other laugh, we have a lot in common, she's going through the same things in her life as i am, and even though i have known her for 6 months now i still feel like i have only stratched the surface and that there is so much more underneath. My question is how do you know whether or not to open that door? I would so like to tell this girl how i feel but at the same time if everyone else is true, then if she doesn't reciprocate the friendship will suffer and eventually die. The funny thing is that even just re-reading what i have written makes me realise that it's a choice that will change from person to person, but out of curiousity, what would/have other people do/done? Risk probably one of my best friendships for something that could be great, or something that could make me lose everything.

[WTRanger]

When feelings show up, there is no longer a friendship so there is nothing to lose. Don't even think about trying to rationalize that there is a friendship at this point. It DOES NOT EXIST if you have feelings for her.

 

The only way you'll know if she feels the same is to just go for it. Think of it this way, if you don't do anything then the jealousy and pain will kill the friendship. So no matter what you do, no matter what choice you take, the "friendship" can and probably will end.

[LonelyGuy85]

I am sure you are right. The thought of her with someone else does make me jealous, but the thought of her not feeling the same and losing the friendship makes me almost scared. I mean she is probably the first person i have ever really connected with, and i don't want to lose that.

 

Logically, there is only one answer, but emotionally i am trying to decide which one it is.

[WTRanger]

While you are sitting around deciding what to do, another guy with motivation will sweep this girl off of her feet.

 

If you think you have a friendship with this girl you are delusional and need to step out of the clouds you have in your head. You'll find out real soon that she does not see you that way when she comes to you asking for advice about her new love life with some other guy. Then what are you going to do? Sit there in jealousy? Bitch here on LS about how she doesn't care about you?

 

You will lose this connection no matter what you do. Your only choice is to lose it by trying or lose it and always have a "what if?" in your mind.

[mem11363]

Stop being such a guy - sorry I am one too.

 

Do this like girls do - everything is this beautiful subtle body language dance until - bang - it isn't.

 

So start by increasing the amount you touch her. Just casually. Do it in a fun and playful way. DO NOT act serious or like it means anything big. Go read the stuff on the web about how to not get stuck in a friend zone. It is all legit stuff. And alot of it has to do with getting her comfortable with you touching her. That is a really big deal. Is there any clear cut reason physically why you two are not compatible - like is she taller then you?

 

 

I am sure you are right. The thought of her with someone else does make me jealous, but the thought of her not feeling the same and losing the friendship makes me almost scared. I mean she is probably the first person i have ever really connected with, and i don't want to lose that.

 

Logically, there is only one answer, but emotionally i am trying to decide which one it is.