Does time change people ??

[monkey]

Dear All

I am in England & my gf is in USA. I am hear because of visa situation, both things are for other forums i know, but, she needs space. I had panic attacks in America before i leaft her, due to returning to my parents house, returning to everything i wanted to get away from & leaving her!

she was too good to me & says she felt more like a nurse & a mother to me than a lover. she says i have a wonderfull heart, totally different from how she expected Englishmen to be (she is Hungarian). She is my dream girl, with such a great attitude to life, so different to any girl i've met.

she's doing her au-pairing there & i'm here worrying about when, if,why,etc etc.

She always told me to be positive & never say never, so why does she say she'll never be in love with me again & only will meet with me as a friend.

I could not help my emotional situation & i feel guilty for putting my **** on her! When we first met, i knew of her ambition, to try America & this obviously is more to her than i am, but i know that if roles were reversed, i would have done anything to make my baby feel well, even if it meant returning to where she wanted to be! She is very independent, i thought i was because before i had not had a relationship for 2 years & i then met the love of my life!

 

I wonder what the statistics are for "time working" for people, she is scared at the moment of meeting with me because i'll bring up all the "getting back together" business.. Can time work it's magic, will it, i ask all these questions to people & of course they don't know, i just need to hear their positive answers & i don't accept their negative ones.. I feel so stupid, helpless & in love. I 'm just happy now that she has what she wants, i don't care about me at the moment, i know it's wrong, but thats how i feel. I initially over-emailed her with questions because i needed answers, i know this was wrong & didn't help at all, but can time change minds ?? she never wanted to date me at all in the first place, because of not wanting to ruin her American dream, but she did, so why am i writing this ?? I just needed to say it.. Please advise, thanks..

[Tony T]

The sooner you take a cold shower and make the decision to accept reality, the better off you'll be. Asking people here to give you false hope when they don't sense that is ridiculous. I'm personally not going to go either way. I'm only going to ask you to take a cold shower, get sober as you can, and look at the facts. If more people did that in relationships, they would be a lot more powerful and not put up with a small fraction of the crap they do. When you start having panics attacks over somebody because you are unsure of the relationship, that's a very strong and clear message to yourself!!!

 

Good luck. Why wait for somebody across the ocean when there are wonderful people right there where you are?

 

You've already posted this problem....just because you keep putting it up over and over doesn't mean people are going to change their minds. If you're looking for a very specific answer, write your own!