thinking about sending this email

[Ms. Joolie]

u always want me to contact her. why is that? yer the only one lol...

 

Hmmmm. Lemme see. Oh yeah!

 

 

1) Because you were the one wanting to contact her with an email.

 

2) Because whether or not you contact her is a simple yes/no answer on your part.

 

3) Because I believe that if you miss her you have the choice to be simple and honest about it. You could pick up the phone and be like, "Hey was thinking about you. I miss you. Let's go grab some pizza."

 

4) Because I believe that you have the choice to fully express yourself. This is how I choose to live.

 

5) Because I believe that when you care for someone, when they mean something to you, you have to go out on a limb sometimes.

 

6) Because if everyone gave you the same advice that would be boring.

 

7) Because you have to do different, new things to get different, new results.

 

8) Because I like to tell you to do things?

 

9) Because calling my now former ex up worked for me?

 

10) Because I believe it's a good thing to do.

 

11) Because you only live once so why not?

 

 

 

... let's see, what else?

[Ms. Joolie]

Seriously though, not trying to make you call or not call her. Do what you want to do. Sometimes it helps to get input totally against the grain so you can make up your mind.

[DiscoChick]

 

3) Because I believe that if you miss her you have the choice to be simple and honest about it. You could pick up the phone and be like, "Hey was thinking about you. I miss you. Let's go grab some pizza."

 

4) Because I believe that you have the choice to fully express yourself. This is how I choose to live.

 

5) Because I believe that when you care for someone, when they mean something to you, you have to go out on a limb sometimes.

 

6) Because if everyone gave you the same advice that would be boring.

 

7) Because you have to do different, new things to get different, new results.

 

11) Because you only live once so why not?

 

 

Truly brilliant. I specifically live by #11 when I am shopping and have the money to buy something. How's about adding, "You should love her enough to let her be mature and make her own decisions. She will come back, if she wants." Except that doesn't fit...

[Ms. Joolie]

Truly brilliant. I specifically live by #11 when I am shopping and have the money to buy something. How's about adding, "You should love her enough to let her be mature and make her own decisions. She will come back, if she wants." Except that doesn't fit...

 

Hey that's good, and it does fit in.

 

12) Because you can communicate what you need to, and let people make their own decisions. You just do your part, never fearing 'what might happen' or 'what they might think'.

 

 

There.

Edited January 15, 2010 by Ms. Joolie

[McGrupp]

3) Because I believe that if you miss her you have the choice to be simple and honest about it. You could pick up the phone and be like, "Hey was thinking about you. I miss you. Let's go grab some pizza."

 

why do you tempt me?

[Ms. Joolie]

why do you tempt me?

 

nothing better to do.

 

well you keep talking about an email so I just wanted to help.

[McGrupp]

12) Because you can communicate what you need to, and let people make their own decisions. You just do your part, never fearing 'what might happen' or 'what they might think'.

 

i like this.

[Howitzer]

Nothing wrong with calling her. It's what you say that matters. What you say reflects your mental and emotional state, so I would carefully consider how you want to present yourself to her.

[mickleb]

Right. I've had enough of this: you've all gone mental.

 

You finally cleansed you wound enough to just let it be and heal at the New Year, McGrupp.

 

Keep picking the scab if you want but you'll end up bloodied and you know it.

 

Tell me I'm wrong.

[Bulldozed]

Roll the dice McGrupp, if you can maintain your composure...you really have nothing to lose..right? what is the outcome you're looking to gain?

[EricaH329]

McGrupp!!! Your name is Nick??! I used to love you until I realized your name is the same as my ex fiances!!

 

Kidding. I still love you. But creepy.

 

Anyway... why is this still an issue? I thought we were over this already?? No more e-mails. No more phone calls. No more text messages/IM's/thoughts. Yes, I said thoughts. She needs to be out of your life completely.

 

You really mean to tell me that you went to Cali for 2 weeks and thought about her?! Man... if I was in Cali for 2 weeks the last thing I would be thinking about is my ex!

 

Come on, it's time to pick yourself up out of this rut you are in and welcome you to the 'over it' club.

 

Are you in?!

[kristinabopp]

tell me not to. thank you friends:

 

 

 

.ill just type an email that you can trash and like we can both keep it moving.

 

 

 

as i stepped away from all of this i realized how i acted, what i said. i just got back from california

for 2 weeks . i did a lot of thinking out there.

 

looking into the pacific i thought about you and all we had been through.

 

 

what we had was pure

by stepping away i realized why i acted the way i did. a relationship should be based on

 

trust, communication, and respect. i stopped giving that.

 

we should just have fun again.

 

i know you can roll your eyes at this. but i used this whole thing as a catalyst to change.

 

 

you want to find yourself, be alone...all of it. im not saying your wrong in feeling that.

 

its cold now.

 

i just want to have fun again with you. we used to have a great times. i miss that.

 

 

Nick-

aaw. im sorry McG. you and me are in the same position. we want our ex's back. im doing NC for 3weeks now since dec.24th when he broke up with me. like you, i messed up everything, i FEEL/THINK im the one who pushed him away. everyday sucks, everyday is depressing, everyday is horrible. sleepless nights and crying is the new habit of mine. since the break up i cried everyday until now, i cant control it. but i must do NC.. he never called,email,txt or anything. NONE! id do anything to get him back. but id rather not, i wnt him to know that this is what he wants and see if he will come back. we were each other first gf/bf. we were each others first in everything. were both 20yrs old. weve been together for 1yr and 2 months and weve been living together with his family as well. weve been thru the worst situation ever. he is my bestfriend/boyfriend/HUSBAND-TO-BE*he proposed to me the day before he broke up,well he proposed to me many times.*/soulmate/sexmate and everything! you and the rest of the people here in LS are in shock, grieve, in denial.

 

maybe ALL OF US HERE IN LS or MAYBE atleast 80% of us here in LS will do anything to get our ex's back! if HOGWARTS IS REAL AND THEY HAVE A LOVE POTION IN WHERE YOU CAN GET YOUR EX'S BACK AND BE WITH THEM AND LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER, HELL YEA ILL BUY IT EVEN IF I HAVE TO BORROW MONEY FROM THE RICHEST MAN EVER! but that doesnt exist! it only depends on each others love/trust/commitment.

 

my x left me wondering and it makes me crazy why he did it. coz i know him from head to toe that he will never hurt me *as he promised*. well my point is, McG, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. DAMN IF ONLY LS HAVE AN ONLINE CHAT WE CAN ALL CHAT IN HERE TOGETHER!

 

its hard to love someone else, if your heart is with the love of your life *which is our ex's* im scared of being alone coz he is always there for me all the time. im scared that he will not come back. im scared that i wont be able to find another HIM. we only have 1 heart and we gave it to them, we dont have 2 hearts to love another one right away when they left us. i know some people who DONT GET OVER with their ex's/first love. my grandpa stayed single for the rest of his life when my grandma passed away and they were each others first! and i admire that relationship! my friend stayed single until now, when his gf passed away, and every anniversary he will go to the beach where he will bring a balloon and write *i miss you etc etc so that she will get the balloon in heaven*. i admire that.. see, there are more people who suffered to much than we are suffering right now. some people choose to be single because they cant see themselves being with another person, because their love for their ex's is so strong that theyd rather be single. *im like that* i just cant date any other guys. i feel sick when i imagine myself with any other guys! i want him and no one else! THATS PERIOD! i dont care if i stay single forever but hey, thats my decision. atleast i have friends who loves me. there are people who tries to date another one right away in order for them to get over it quickly *i know some of it works, but some dont. i feel like people who dates another person are just using them to move on, but thats not right and fair, how will you feel if the person you are dating right now is just using you to get over with his/her ex's?! you will feel used!* and i dont want that. id rather do everything normally and let time heal me. *i know its hard to think and say that time will heal me because i know myself it will be a loooooooooooooooong time*

 

McG!everyday i have an urges to break NC!but if i do, will iget hurt or not?will he respond or not?will it helps me to get him back or not? think bout that. coz if you get the answer you dont want, then youll be back to day 1 of grieving again. think bout it. learn self control. i know you want to, we know we want to. but whats the point? let our ex's do their thing, and youll see, ive seen/known like 80% out of 100% that mostly ex's will come back when we are not into them anymore or even if we are atleast we move on a little bit. some ex's they regret letting us go and end up comingback for forgiveness and chance. they end up realizing that its their lost, not ours. they end up realising that they love us more than anyone. they will realized that the love we have for each other and our love for them is different that they end up craving for it. they wont find the way we love them in any other people out there. like i said, you are not alone.. we are here too suffering from pain/depression with you.

[McGrupp]

im not going to break NC anymore.

 

broke it 11 times (had to actually take a piece of paper out and recount all the times) over these 4 months. sometimes were ok, sometimes were horrible, but all it did was keep me from moving on and give up my dignity and horribly probably end any chance of reconciliation.

 

i should write a book. i mean i broke NC really bad. going out to dinner, writing emails where i said i was crying (!), then calling her a bitch and a slut, then apologizing, then demanding a 2nd chance, then just asking her about omellettes.

 

all of it makes me seem crazy in hindsight.

 

 

eeesh!....

 

DONT LOSE YOUR SELF RESPECT.

 

gotta keep telling myself that.

[GrayClouds]

im not going to break NC anymore.

 

broke it 11 times (had to actually take a piece of paper out and recount all the times) over these 4 months. sometimes were ok, sometimes were horrible, but all it did was keep me from moving on and give up my dignity and horribly probably end any chance of reconciliation.

 

i should write a book. i mean i broke NC really bad. going out to dinner, writing emails where i said i was crying (!), then calling her a bitch and a slut, then apologizing, then demanding a 2nd chance, then just asking her about omellettes.

 

all of it makes me seem crazy in hindsight.

 

 

eeesh!....

 

DONT LOSE YOUR SELF RESPECT.

 

gotta keep telling myself that.

 

dont forget the flowers...

[McGrupp]

nah flowers got cancelled.

 

but ms. joolies suggested them. im starting to think she is my ex in disguise!

[LovelyDaze]

im not going to break NC anymore.

 

broke it 11 times (had to actually take a piece of paper out and recount all the times) over these 4 months. sometimes were ok, sometimes were horrible, but all it did was keep me from moving on and give up my dignity and horribly probably end any chance of reconciliation.

 

i should write a book. i mean i broke NC really bad. going out to dinner, writing emails where i said i was crying (!), then calling her a bitch and a slut, then apologizing, then demanding a 2nd chance, then just asking her about omellettes.

 

all of it makes me seem crazy in hindsight.

 

 

eeesh!....

 

DONT LOSE YOUR SELF RESPECT.

 

gotta keep telling myself that.

 

 

Keep that thought...

DONT LOSE YOUR SELF RESPECT.

 

After those 11 times you have learned that your ex is going to go forth with whatever kind of life without you. You don't see it, but that is a good thing. It's not good that she has a pretty decent hold on your soul, but you have to keep wriggling your way out of that deathgrip.

 

You know I believe in you, McGrupp. You have fallen and risen so many times, but my God, that makes you human!

 

At least we all know one thing...you are a loving man. That love should be given to a woman who will be receptive and deserving. She is out there waiting.

[DenverBachelor]

im not going to break NC anymore.

 

broke it 11 times

 

I think you should break it one more time just so we can call it a dozen and move on.

[XKatieX]

/agrees with Denver.

 

 

No, but seriously Im all about taking risks. You could ask her to meet up with you somewhere and just have fun, and talk. Not mentioning anything about the relationship though, I know you said you missed just having fun with her. So if you guys could be friends, what could it hurt? Unless of course you don't think you can be friends.

 

And who knows tons of relationships stem off of friendship, you never know what could happen years or months from now.

[northstar1]

/agrees with Denver.

 

 

No, but seriously Im all about taking risks. You could ask her to meet up with you somewhere and just have fun, and talk. Not mentioning anything about the relationship though, I know you said you missed just having fun with her. So if you guys could be friends, what could it hurt? Unless of course you don't think you can be friends.

 

And who knows tons of relationships stem off of friendship, you never know what could happen years or months from now.

 

If you read a little of McGrupps posts, you'll see he's nowhere near ready to be friends. He needs to stick to NC to heal himself.

[Soul Bear]

/agrees with Denver.

friendship, you never know what could happen years or months from now.

 

 

You could ask her to meet up with you somewhere and just have fun, and talk.

 

 

what could it hurt?

 

 

No. He needs to move on. Don't dish him out a glimmer of false hope.

 

He is clearly not ready to be just friends. It will only prolong his pain and growth and make him look like an idiot while she gets all the benefits of 'friendship'

 

Clearly, she will be expecting just friendship from him. He will be expecting more, and GUARANTEED will **** up (no offense OP! ). If you could not handle seeing her with a new bf, then you are not ready.

 

 

What could it hurt? ....It would be a Glutton for Punishment move!

[Howitzer]

As long as you keep your self respect, and your self sufficiency, you're good to go. But until you have that, I'd suggest staying away from her.

[LovelyDaze]

/agrees with Denver.

 

 

No, but seriously Im all about taking risks. You could ask her to meet up with you somewhere and just have fun, and talk. Not mentioning anything about the relationship though, I know you said you missed just having fun with her. So if you guys could be friends, what could it hurt? Unless of course you don't think you can be friends.

 

And who knows tons of relationships stem off of friendship, you never know what could happen years or months from now.

 

 

*DB was just kidding around with McG. We know McGrupp has broken NC a lot and its hurting him*

 

 

McGrupp? No.Don't ask her to "meet up" or anything. What could it hurt? PLENTY...

Edited January 17, 2010 by LovelyDaze

[LovelyDaze]

No. He needs to move on. Don't dish him out a glimmer of false hope.

 

He is clearly not ready to be just friends. It will only prolong his pain and growth and make him look like an idiot while she gets all the benefits of 'friendship'

 

Clearly, she will be expecting just friendship from him. He will be expecting more, and GUARANTEED will **** up (no offense OP! ). If you could not handle seeing her with a new bf, then you are not ready.

 

 

What could it hurt? ....It would be a Glutton for Punishment move!

 

 

Excellent. Remember this, McG.

 

Until you feel indifferent(don't care who she dates,don't care if she is attracted to you, etc.) then you can't be friends.

[XKatieX]

*DB was just kidding around with McG. We know McGrupp has broken NC a lot and its hurting him*

 

 

McGrupp? No.Don't ask her to "meet up" or anything. What could it hurt? PLENTY...

 

*Sigh* you guys.....

 

Whether or not you think is the right thing in your mind to do, hes still going to do what HE wants to do.

 

Seriously? Don't tell him what to do, he can and will do what he wants to do.

 

My advice to you, do what you want to do when you are ready, if it means becoming friends, or keeping NC. Don't let others on here sway your decisions, ultimately it is your choice.

[LovelyDaze]

If you read a little of McGrupps posts, you'll see he's nowhere near ready to be friends. He needs to stick to NC to heal himself.

 

Healing is the best option, McGrupp. We are all proud of your progress. Breaking it hasn't been going well at all, Keep up the NC.