Lonely but Determined... What to Say?

[Khabarak]

I turn 21 tomorrow and I've been single for over 2 years. I've never had a problem getting the girl once I actually engage her in person a couple of times, but that is pretty difficult for me. In fact, of all the girls I've dated (not that many -- 3) I've only ever approached one myself. The rest kind of came to me.

 

I'm not really afraid of being turned down. I honestly believe that won't hurt my feelings very much. I understand if someone isn't interested in me as there are plenty of people I'm not interested in. It's more that I can never seem to find what appears to be an appropriate moment to approach a girl. Not to mention, certain circumstances (living off campus, a 99.9% male major -- literally, etc.) also hampered meeting new women.

 

A while back I made a post on this site about this girl I ALMOST talked to when I went to a school sponsored ice skating night. I think this girl might be in one of my classes this semester. That said, I'm really not terribly confident its the same person. Either way, I'm attracted to this girl and would like to talk to her. I'll always be there a little early and she was early today so I imagine I might be able to talk to her before class. I have plenty of things to talk to about once I get started, but I don't know how to start the conversation.

 

Would it be weird if I just commented to her that she looks familiar? How about asking if she was at that event?

 

If its not the same girl I feel like this would give me a way to start a conversation. So what if I'm mistaken? If it is the same girl, I worry that my recognizing her nearly 2 months after some event where we never spoke might be creepy. What do you think?

 

Thanks in advance for your feedback.

[Devil Dog]

I'd use a little of both, actually.

 

And to attract a women, you need to have something offer, something that sets you apart. And attraction by itself doesn't count, anyone can offer that.

[Khabarak]

I assume you mean tell her she looks familiar and ask if she was there? I guess it wasn't very clear, but that is what I meant.

 

If that isn't want you meant, let me know.

 

I realize looks aren't the only thing that come into play. I'm attractive enough, but I have a lot of other, more important, qualities. I just need a chance to display those qualities. =)

[Devil Dog]

I assume you mean tell her she looks familiar and ask if she was there? I guess it wasn't very clear, but that is what I meant.

 

If that isn't want you meant, let me know.

 

I realize looks aren't the only thing that come into play. I'm attractive enough, but I have a lot of other, more important, qualities. I just need a chance to display those qualities. =)

 

Something like "Hey you look familiar... Were you at xxxx, by any chance?"

 

Oh I didn't mean looks, I just meant that if you had special talents, skills, or qualities, that you should derive confidence from that, since you said you were lacking it. That'll be one of the first things that will snag her attention.

[Khabarak]

Thanks for you input Devil Dog.

 

I'm committing right now... Thursday I'm going to talk to that girl. (Thursday because that is the next time I have that class).

 

Oh I didn't mean looks, I just meant that if you had special talents, skills, or qualities, that you should derive confidence from that, since you said you were lacking it. That'll be one of the first things that will snag her attention.

 

Sorry, I've just had a number of people on this site tell me looks aren't everything. I assumed that was what you were getting at, but obviously I was wrong.

 

I appreciate the advice.

[Devil Dog]

Sorry, I've just had a number of people on this site tell me looks aren't everything. I assumed that was what you were getting at, but obviously I was wrong.

 

I appreciate the advice.

 

Sure, looks definitely aren't everything, not that they don't matter, but the biggest thing I hear on this site, and others, is confidence.

 

But that confidence has to come from somewhere right? And where would that be? That's right, whatever it is that makes you unique, that skill or quality or talent, and the more you start building yourself up with that, you'll gain confidence in no time.