Suzy_Q Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 After three years my bf just wants to be friends and I don't know what to do. He says he doesn't love me anymore but cares for me like a brother would. I can't believe it. I don't know if I should be friends with him or not or if there is any chance at recovering what we once had. The past year and a half he's been pulling away from things he enjoys which leads me to the fact that he's depressed. He has also been confused on what he wants in life and who he is. I saw him slowly pulling away from me and confronted him about it several times and he always reassured me that everything was ok. New years day he broke up with me, no one expected it and I didn't react very well and asked him to think about it. I saw him two days later and the break up was bad i've never been so pathetic in my life. Yesterday we talked again about whether he was sure about this . He said he wasn't but the way he says he's feeling about me now is in that brotherly care. I called him today and told him I accepted what he's doing and that i'd be here if he wanted to talk as well if he changes his mind to not be afraid to ask me again, i told him i honestly wouldn't know what i would say at that time in my life if it ever came. We live together with another room mate. I'm not sure if I should do this friend thing. I'm not over him by any means, i don't want to lose him, and i don't want to be stuck in friend zone either. I'm accepting his decision and hoping that time will make him come back and i'm starting to cope . But I don't know what to do in the mean time. He asked if I wanted to watch some movies with him when we got back to school. he had also asked if I was okay inbetween the days of talking face to face. He's also bending to my will in regards of what I want to do in this break up ( like he says he'll move out if i want him to ect. ect. ) And that only makes it harder for this to be over. I just need some advice. Link to post Share on other sites
MySweetie'sGone Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 If he ended it do not be his friend...you'll get stuck there. you need to get out of the living sitch as soon as possible as that will prolong the pain...maybe he needs to live without you to see that he needs you (at least that's what they say). You'll appear stronger if you leave and that will give you a fresh start so you wont be reminded of the times you shared when you lived together. Accept for now and just give him space...i know people say that a lot...but it's actually the best thing you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
gaudi Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 If he ended it do not be his friend...you'll get stuck there. you need to get out of the living sitch as soon as possible as that will prolong the pain...maybe he needs to live without you to see that he needs you (at least that's what they say). You'll appear stronger if you leave and that will give you a fresh start so you wont be reminded of the times you shared when you lived together. Accept for now and just give him space...i know people say that a lot...but it's actually the best thing you can do. Yes, this advice is spot on I think. You don't know whether you should be friends with him or if there's a chance of recovering what you once had. If you show him you're willing to be his friend and stay in his life while he gets to do his own thing, then you will NEVER recover what you once had. He wants to be friends, tell him no thanks, and move on. I don't want to make assumptions, but I reckon he would be back before you know it. And if he isn't, then you're not hanging around in the FRIEND-ZONE waiting for him to make some time for you.....walk away with your head held high!!! Link to post Share on other sites
MySweetie'sGone Posted January 13, 2010 Share Posted January 13, 2010 Yes, this advice is spot on I think. You don't know whether you should be friends with him or if there's a chance of recovering what you once had. If you show him you're willing to be his friend and stay in his life while he gets to do his own thing, then you will NEVER recover what you once had. He wants to be friends, tell him no thanks, and move on. I don't want to make assumptions, but I reckon he would be back before you know it. And if he isn't, then you're not hanging around in the FRIEND-ZONE waiting for him to make some time for you.....walk away with your head held high!!! Exactly right!! It may not seem like it...but that's a win-win situation. Now, i just have to follow my own advice! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts