He is dating me, but needs closure from her...

[Trish]

Ok, I am in need of some serious advice...I have been dating this guy for about a month now and he is basically everything that I could want in a man -- except for this one problems that is becoming a big one. He was dating this girl for about 3 months and I guess he really fell for her, on Valentines Day she broke up with him -- he found out that she was now going with his ex-roomate and friend. I met him in March, it's now the end of April and he is keeping me at bay -- saying that he wants to take it slow and that he needs closure from her. He says that he likes me and has a great time with me, but he isn't ready to let me in, that I need to be patient and give him time. When I asked him if he would go back to her if she suddenly asked him to, his response was "probably not". I don't know what to do, dump him or ride it out. This is driving me insane

[Mr. Nice Guy]

Ok, I am in need of some serious advice...I have been dating this guy for about a month now and he is basically everything that I could want in a man -- except for this one problems that is becoming a big one. He was dating this girl for about 3 months and I guess he really fell for her, on Valentines Day she broke up with him -- he found out that she was now going with his ex-roomate and friend. I met him in March, it's now the end of April and he is keeping me at bay -- saying that he wants to take it slow and that he needs closure from her. He says that he likes me and has a great time with me, but he isn't ready to let me in, that I need to be patient and give him time. When I asked him if he would go back to her if she suddenly asked him to, his response was "probably not". I don't know what to do, dump him or ride it out. This is driving me insane

 

 

 

Trish,

 

Just give him some time. If you really like him, you should respect his wishes. A break-up can be hard on a person. Right now what he probably needs most is a "Good" friend, not a girlfriend. Be that friend to him, and eventually, he will get the closure that he needs from his ex and be able to get much closer to you. It may be the case that he really does like you, but due to his recent break-up he is afraid to get to close to someone just incase they decide to dump him. Being a good friend is the best way to gain a person's trust. And that trust could grow into something more than just friendship. Good luck.

[LoveAngel]

Ok, I am in need of some serious advice...I have been dating this guy for about a month now and he is basically everything that I could want in a man -- except for this one problems that is becoming a big one. He was dating this girl for about 3 months and I guess he really fell for her, on Valentines Day she broke up with him -- he found out that she was now going with his ex-roomate and friend. I met him in March, it's now the end of April and he is keeping me at bay -- saying that he wants to take it slow and that he needs closure from her. He says that he likes me and has a great time with me, but he isn't ready to let me in, that I need to be patient and give him time. When I asked him if he would go back to her if she suddenly asked him to, his response was "probably not". I don't know what to do, dump him or ride it out. This is driving me insane

 

 

Trish,

 

 

I'll have to agree with Mr. Nice Guy on this one and appologize for my delay in responding. I've been rather busy this time of year! The decision is yours to make. He's being honest (presumably) with you regarding his feelings and unwillingness to jump back into another serious relationship. If you'd like to pursue something with him, then ride it out. Give him the time he needs and be a friend to him when he may need one most. If you don't gain anything else, you'll at least have a great, close friend. If, however, you feel that perhaps moving on to someone who is ready for a relationship, then you always have that route to choose as well. There isn't a definiative answer and the ball is in your court. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best!

 

 

LoveAngel