Can I get her back?

[Kevin Kristopher]

Hey everyone, merry x-mas. I just need help with m situation and from reading some of the other posts some I can say relate. I never had a girlfriend before. I met her my first year of college and we stayed in the same dorm, she stayed on the 6th and I stayed on the 7th. We ended up becoming official at the end of the year. So when the summer came everything was great, we talked everyday all the time for long periods of time. She lived in northern cal and i lived in southern cal. We visited each other over the summer and it was best time of our lives. Then next school year started where i lived in a house with 3 other friends and had people always at our house and all of a sudden it went from me saying that i would mary this girl to wishing she lived in another state, or that i just didn't want to have a girlfriend at the time mainly because i was having all this fun living in this house, there was always something to do, all my roommates were single and it made me want to be single.

 

Because i felt this way even tho i love her more than anything, my feelings were hampering our relationship. She would cry a lot, telling me that she wasn't happy, she didn't like the way i was treating her, no one has ever made her feel like how she feels and her saying that hurt. But i could never really end it because i really didn't want to. I pretty much wanted the best of both worlds and with a girlfriend it's either one or the other. This went on for a year. Like i would rather be with my friends on weekends than with her and she didn't like that plus i was getting a lot play from other girls. So I basically pushed her to wear she decided it would be a good idea if we cooled out for a little bit and i agreed. I told her i wasn't trying to meet anyone else but in actuallity, having a girlfriend sort of made me big headed and made me feel like i could pull any girl and hook up with them. How foolish of me.

 

So we took a time out, and for like 2 weeks everything was fine, tho she seemed annoyed at some little things that i would do that i never really did when i was with her like go swimming or saki bombing. I still spent the night over at her place a majortiy of the time and this one night i saw another guys number in her phone and something triggered something in me. I just became so jealous and angry and all of a sudden i wanted to be with her more than ever, almost like when we first got together.

 

I told her i wanted to get back together and she told me that she didn't want to be in a serious relationship right now because she is having fun with her friends and she is about to start this real vigorous nursing program at our college. Now it seems like she is doing to me now what i did to her when i was living at the house with all my friends. She tells me she'll call me back and won't, you know stuff like that. Then i found out that she lied to me about a guy in her phone who she is talking to but she says he is just a cool guy and she lied because she didn't want me to flip about who he was.

 

I want to get back with her so bad but she tells that she doesn't want a boyfriend tho she tells me she loves me and still wants to talk to me. A couple of weeks ago she had got the stomach flew and was very sick and her roommates had left for the weekend so i felt that i should take care of her and i did hoping that she would take me back. Then the next weekend came which was her birthday weekend and she didn't even want to be with me for her 21st birthday, she wanted to be with her friends and i didn't even see her for that weekend. And just recently she acts like she doesn't care about anything that i do anymore, and she doesn't like to really to go out with me anymore. What should I do? I need help please because i love this girl more than anything but i feel like she thinks that we had this terrible relationship when i don't think so. I do think i was pretty bad sometimes but we got through it,...help please

[DerangedAngel]

Kevin,

 

I'm sorry if I'm wrong but... it sounds like to me you just want what you can't have. You wanted single life when you were with her, and now that you have it and she's moved on (and is perhaps interested in someone else), you want her back. I don't mean to be harsh, but I was with a guy who treated me the way it seems you are treating her. The only suggestion I have for you is to tell her how you feel, that you're sorry for being a jerk to her, and that you miss the relationship you had with her. After that I would back off. If she wants you back, she'll come around. And Kevin, don't do any of that if you don't really care about her. Good luck.

[Kevin Kristopher]

I have told her how much I care for her and sorry and sent her flowers and I basically did everything I could but she tells me she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now mainly because we fought alot and that she is starting this nursing program.