Spotty Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 Hiyas I really don't know how to approach the situation i have. My girlfriend and I have discussed sex before, and she understands that I wanted to wait for the right person before I lost my virginity. She was keen at the beginning of the relationship to have sex til I asked her to slow down and wait. Now that I want to make love to her I really don't know how to .... pretty much do anything. This is my first serious relationship and I love her to bits, but how do you bring something up a few months ago you didn't want anything to do with. Our relationship is great, we get along better then best friends, but what if when I mention it everything just goes weird. Is sex really that important in a relationship of a few months? I'm sorry if this all sound like the ramblings of an idiot. Just don't know how to put it ~Spotty Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 Do you want us to tell you how to have sex with her? Because we can't. Sex is a natural process and something only the two of you can truly share. If you have been with her long enough to want to have sex with her, then you should know what she likes and doesn't like. Take note of things she likes, or moans, too and ignore the things that make it fall flat. If she knows it is your first time, she should understand if everything isn't 'perfect'. Sex isn't great just because you are good at it(or have experience), sex is great because it has two people who are intune with each other and can read each other and share it together Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 I'm sorry if this all sound like the ramblings of an idiot. You sound like a nice, thoughtful guy. I'm sure we can help. Now that I want to make love to her I really don't know how to .... pretty much do anything. This is my first serious relationship and I love her to bits, but how do you bring something up a few months ago you didn't want anything to do with. How about telling her? "I feel so close to you...I love touching you...(kiss snuggle)...you're so beautiful...you smell so good...(stroke kiss)...mmmm...(hands go under clothes)..." Our relationship is great, we get along better then best friends, but what if when I mention it everything just goes weird. A relationship as strong and good as yours is not going to suddenly go sour. Ask yourself, "Have I told this girl about other secret, private feelings...not necessarily about sex but about love, self-esteem, family, race, money, heavy stuff like that?" I hope the answer is yes, and that you found you could talk about these sensitive things with her. Also...she was willing to take the plunge and tell YOU that she wanted to have sex. That made her vulnerable to rejection on several levels. You told her no, and your relationship survived and prospered. The only slight awkwardness might be talking through that "right person" remark you made. A touchy person (like me) might take it a bit wrong. But she sounds resilient, not touchy. Is sex really that important in a relationship of a few months? It's not essential by any means, but it sounds like both of you want it, and thank goodness you're 21 and not 15. Please post some more and tell us how it goes. And most important of all...get yourselves some reliable birth control BEFORE the first encounter. Pregnancy scares are horrible and unwanted pregnancies are h*ll. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Spotty Posted December 30, 2003 Author Share Posted December 30, 2003 Hiyas Thank you for the replies Soulmate. Thank you very much, your advice it right on the head of the nail, I did what you said before reading your post She now knows and understands where I am in the relationship, she is there aswell but we opted to wait til the right moment (we talked when she was at my place, which has 3 generations under its roof, hardly what I would call a right moment ). We both know exacty how we feel in the relationship and that waiting hat bit longer is no real worry cause we have alot of time. The only slight awkwardness might be talking through that "right person" remark you made. A touchy person (like me) might take it a bit wrong. But she sounds resilient, not touchy. Ya, this was the weirdest part of our conversation. She was worried that if we didn't work out in the long run she would feel as if she had taken something important from me. Sure it was important til I found the right person, and I have been in other relationships that ended because they wanted something I didn't at that stage in the relationship. Her willingness to wait for me til I was ready was enuff for me to know she was the right person. Thank you guys so much for what you do here and helping guys like me thru simplistic things like this. I'll keep you updated on how everything works out between us Again Thank you ~Spotty Link to post Share on other sites
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