Omfg

[MySweetie'sGone]

so i saw my ex over christmas/new year's break and it seemed initially like he wanted to get together...then he pulled away. We even made love. omfg! i just log onto myspace and some girl wrote on his wall that her happiest memory with him was over new year's and that they have many more memories to come! wtf? i can't believe this. I'm such an idiot. I thought we had real love. i'm so stupid i could die. OMFG!! OMG.

[sean1970]

Not stupid sweetie... just love sick... there is a cure... It just takes time...

 

Im sorry this happened to you... We are here for you...

[MySweetie'sGone]

I just can't believe it. Like, there's no way this isn't what i think it is, is there? i'm so devastated. i invested so much into us...i thought there'd at least be a second chance. HE wanted to marry ME..and now here i am...devastated. i'm so depressed. how did this happen? ... i never get the second chances...i only get heartache. i dont know what i might do...

[sean1970]

I just can't believe it. Like' date=' there's no way this isn't what i think it is, is there? i'm so devastated. i invested so much into us...i thought there'd at least be a second chance. HE wanted to marry ME..and now here i am...devastated. i'm so depressed. how did this happen? ... i never get the second chances...i only get heartache. i dont know what i might do...[/quote']

 

Just know that the answers you want from him, or any he would give, will not satisfy. The hurt and confusion would remain. If this happened, this quickly, he was not really there when you thought he was. It is a very selfish thing he did.

 

It is little consilation, but he is no longer your problem. It will take you time to realize and believe that...

 

Keep talking to us before you think you have to talk to him. Honesty will be in short supply with him; we have all you will ever need.

[DenverBachelor]

so i saw my ex over christmas/new year's break and it seemed initially like he wanted to get together...then he pulled away. We even made love. omfg! i just log onto myspace and some girl wrote on his wall that her happiest memory with him was over new year's and that they have many more memories to come! wtf? i can't believe this. I'm such an idiot. I thought we had real love. i'm so stupid i could die. OMFG!! OMG.

 

Kind of feels like someone breaking into your past and robbing something from it, doesn't it?

[bananaboat11]

Look deep into your heart and see what's there...

 

You need to focus on yourself now. What's done is done... it is painful, yes... but you cannot dwell on it any longer. This is YOUR time to focus on YOU. BE SELFISH... and reflect. His actions speak loudly... you're still full of love. Love is a healthy... confusing emotion. No one can ever understand its bounds... but clearly, I see, you are not the problem. He is... And you need to realize this. That you are amazing - and can do so much better.

 

Take this opportunity to reflect on your best traits / qualities.... and don't look back! Keep your head up

[MySweetie'sGone]

I don't even want to live anymore...everything I knew is falling apart.

[Oh Moe]

I don't even want to live anymore...everything I knew is falling apart.

 

Most on this form have been there before. Take deep breaths and relax.

No one knows what our ex's are thinking of, they string you along while doing others.

I think good people hurt more and longer because we would never do these things to our partners.

 

You have a good reason never to contact him again and that will help.

Keep busy and go crazy doing other things.

[sunrae]

I don't even want to live anymore...everything I knew is falling apart.

 

I know it seems like that now. And I wish I could give you great words of wisdom that would take all the hurt away, but honestly what I find helps the most is Time. Time heals....

 

I look back at all my heartache, and wonder how I made it out, when the hurt was so deep, when they cut my heart out at that moment... But I have made it this far, and you will too...

 

In time it will get better. I promise.

 

Big Hug!

[MySweetie'sGone]

Thanks. I'm trying. I had gone back to NC with him until I saw this...i was so angry i sent him a message just said "...i can't believe you..." now i want to delete my page so he can't respond and i never know if he did or not...I have been through several relationships, one ended worse than this...but I have NEVER in my life experienced a pain this bad. How can people not be who you thought they were?

 

After almost two years with me he's gonna go to someone who has proven nothing about how much they care for him and leave ME behind? I thought he was different..even HE admitted our relationship was the one good thing in his life. said that even when he just hung out with other girls it felt like cheating after the breakup. so y let us go? Grant it we were LDR...but only 3 hours and I went to see him often...basically took care of him when he was sick for 6 months at uni. He has no money, no job and often get depressed. Could it be he felt inadequate and that robbed him of his feeling. but if that was the case...why would he be dating someone else?

 

i don't understand. Almost everyone has had a second chance at a meaningful relationship...but i never have. what did i do to deserve this? Why can't i have a second chance? i'd like to have one even if just so I could end things on MY OWN Terms. but noo...i can't even have that.

[sunrae]

 

i don't understand. Almost everyone has had a second chance at a meaningful relationship...but i never have. what did i do to deserve this? Why can't i have a second chance? i'd like to have one even if just so I could end things on MY OWN Terms. but noo...i can't even have that.

 

 

You do have a Second Chance... A Second Chance at a meaningfull realtionship with someone else, who deserves a caring person like yourself... You dont deserve to be treated like crap or taken advantage of, so try to look at this as your second change at having a meaningful relationship that he cant give you.

 

From this point on, You make YOUR TERMS, in this relationship... No more letting him jerk your chain, No more waiting on him, No more crumbs, No more Miss Nice Lady..

[Oh Moe]

Thanks. I'm trying. I had gone back to NC with him until I saw this...i was so angry i sent him a message just said "...i can't believe you..." now i want to delete my page so he can't respond and i never know if he did or not...I have been through several relationships, one ended worse than this...but I have NEVER in my life experienced a pain this bad. How can people not be who you thought they were?

My last was the worse for me also, I know you've heard it before but don't contact him, I know it will make it worse if you do. I also did tons for my ex, took care of her and her kids for three years. Got her jobs, fed them, paid some of her bills.

After almost two years with me he's gonna go to someone who has proven nothing about how much they care for him and leave ME behind? I thought he was different..even HE admitted our relationship was the one good thing in his life. said that even when he just hung out with other girls it felt like cheating after the breakup. so y let us go? Grant it we were LDR...but only 3 hours and I went to see him often...basically took care of him when he was sick for 6 months at uni. He has no money, no job and often get depressed. Could it be he felt inadequate and that robbed him of his feeling. but if that was the case...why would he be dating someone else?

 

i don't understand. Almost everyone has had a second chance at a meaningful relationship...but i never have.

When I got my chance at a second chance I didn't want it. Step back and look what he did to you. I didn't change until I learned to RESPECT myself again. My ex wanted me back in one sentence and in the next told me her crackhead BF was home sleeping in OUR bed.WTF

what did i do to deserve this? Why can't i have a second chance? i'd like to have one even if just so I could end things on MY OWN Terms. but noo...i can't even have that.

 

Hey what area of Ga you in ?

[MySweetie'sGone]

Hey what area of Ga you in ?

 

Atlanta. Buckhead

[Oh Moe]

Atlanta. Buckhead

 

 

That's funny I just found out my ex had a fling with a married guy in Ga. I didn't realize it but he came to her work one day and wanted to take her skiing and she said she never knew the guy but I found out other.

[sean1970]

now i want to delete my page so he can't respond and i never know if he did or not...

 

That is a good idea... Keeping it will only tempt and cause more pain...

 

How can people not be who you thought they were?

 

Cowards hide, that why.

 

Could it be he felt inadequate and that robbed him of his feeling. but if that was the case...why would he be dating someone else?

 

It is going to be hard enough to figure out what is in your own head. You will never know what is in his. Dont try.

 

i don't understand. Almost everyone has had a second chance at a meaningful relationship...but i never have. what did i do to deserve this?

 

At some point in the future, you will be glad you did give him the second chance. Better you know now.

[MySweetie'sGone]

That's funny I just found out my ex had a fling with a married guy in Ga. I didn't realize it but he came to her work one day and wanted to take her skiing and she said she never knew the guy but I found out other.

 

it's a small world after all.

[MySweetie'sGone]

How do I get past the pain? It's sapping all my energy. I don't want to date...I don't trust ANYONE. I force myself to go out but i only end up in tears.

[Oh Moe]

it's a small world after all.

 

Especially when this guy drives 3 hours from Atlanta with all kinds of ski equipment and just shows up at her work. DA how did he know where you worked.

Boy I was a sucker.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Especially when this guy drives 3 hours from Atlanta with all kinds of ski equipment and just shows up at her work. DA how did he know where you worked.

Boy I was a sucker.

 

 

ehhh....maybe. lol. But it's okay to be a sucker sometimes. our trusting natures and (loving rose-colored eyes) get the best of us.

[Oh Moe]

ehhh....maybe. lol. But it's okay to be a sucker sometimes. our trusting natures and (loving rose-colored eyes) get the best of us.

 

You know what's funny this happened the first few months we were together and I believed her when she said I didn't know how he got my place of work. The older I get the less I trust people. I went 6 years without a relationship because of trust and this women was so good at lying and always the right things that I look back and I was used sooooooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

[MySweetie'sGone]

I was used sooooooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

 

Oh Moe It happens to the best of people. Somehow, someway we always manage to find that one person who knows just how to take advantage of our bleeding hearts! And we're so giving that we allow them to.

 

My ex had nothing, absolutely nothing and I gave him everything...and it hurts so I know how you feel. My emotions keep fluctuating. From anger to sadness that he could do that--whether intentionally or unintentionally.

 

Sunrae: you're right...No More Ms. Nice Lady...but I dont really know how to stop. When I woke up and saw that stuff I immediately sent him a msg "...I cannot believe u..." not really expecting an answer and he goes "? y wat did i do?" I dont even know how to answer...do i tell him what i "think" I know or do I just let go & ignore him?

 

bananaboat: I just read your post exchance with broken hearted girl so I know that you understand what I'm going through. Myspace and Fb are a b*tch but I can't bring myself to delete him just in case he comes back. Sad huh? On myspace we're still listed as "engaged." I just want that happiness back...

[aerogurl87]

I just can't believe it. Like' date=' there's no way this isn't what i think it is, is there? i'm so devastated. i invested so much into us...i thought there'd at least be a second chance. HE wanted to marry ME..and now here i am...devastated. i'm so depressed. how did this happen? ... i never get the second chances...i only get heartache. i dont know what i might do...[/quote']

 

Actions speak louder than words MySweetie'sGone. My ex told me the same thing, even took me to this gorgeous mountain and told me he was going to propose to me there one day. Then two months later, on the same morning he called to tell me I was the one and his true love, 5 hours later he told me he was breaking up with me, and the next day he had a new girlfriend. The moral of the story? Guys like that are not worth your time. You can and WILL find better. Say it with me, "I will find better." Just remind yourself that everyday and it will happen. I thought my ex wanted a second try too a few days ago. Come to find out he was just stringing me along and wanted me there as a backup for when things with his new string of girls fell through. And now I'm moving on happily. I have a date with a guy who is super hot and nice next week, and things are looking up. The same can be true for you if you just focus on the fact that you don't need him to be happy with life. And one day that special man will walk into your life and you will forget about your ex. The pain and hurt associated with his memory will fade and you will wonder, "why did I cry over that idiot?" The time will come, just be patient.

[bananaboat11]

Mysweetie'sgone, I wanted to wait until I had ample time to respond to your situation. I feel... I see... I know... At this very moment, I am crying. It's 10:37PM EST... I am a 25 y/o male... a graduate student... I'm independent... and have EVERY reason to be a cocky sonuvabitch... and I'm not. I'm crying...

 

Someone on these boards (and I do not recall who) once said that it is the pure hearted... the Good Ones that hurt the most... and the longest. We cannot fathom hurting anyone we bring into our lives... that close. To hold someone dear to our hearts... and for them to take us for granted. It's disgusting... truly an act of repugnance... volatile in nature.

 

The people like our exes are out there. They categorize as low-self esteem... usually looking for something in YOU they are missing in themselves. Good character, morals, trust, honesty... altruistic, benevalent features ... because something of their past demoralized them... and depurified their souls. Their means of coping? To hurt us... They don't mean it... this is all they know. And then... when we are led to believe there is a possibility for reconciliation... they impale us with an allegorical blade... directly into our hearts, where it pains us most... and ever so subtly twist the blade until our hearts bleed unsullied, pure tears... the very essence of amity & compassion that define who we are...

 

We are above this, MSG. I am learning to realize this. You will too.. in time. Please do not close your heart off... this dispicable lifeform chose you for something... selfishly. Clearly, you are more amazing than you may believe. It is these fiends that feed the very flesh from our bone... and drain the blood from our veins... and the goodness of our hearts... will not heal. Not for a long, long time... and I cannot see them happy for a long, long time...

 

My pain will subside... my heart will mend. My pride will conceal itself... and my dignity will return. My ability to love will rise again... and yours will too. Time... time is a rigid construct, but changes nothing. Doing things... changes things. I promise you... fill this void with positive influences now... GOOD friends... FAMILY... THE GYM... MUSIC... HOBBIES (pick up a new one!)... and you will crawl out of this wretched place we all seem to be... and you will rise to become a better person. a better lover. a better partner. a stronger heart. a purer soul. A woman worth loving who will love her future partner the same way back... one who will know when the fighting.. and the nuances in a relationship are worth enduring for the empowerment of THEIR soul (yours + his)... and when to say no... and to move on so that you may be happy.

 

Unfortunately today... there are many, many insecure persons walking this earth... but until your learn to live your life for you... you will never see someone's true colors. We all radiate light... and until you can see past your own reflection and realize it ISN'T YOU.... it was him. He was broken. He was the problem, like my ex girlfriend... You will then be able to understand.. and see the colors illuminated by a new man. A better man... a man who will take your heart upon giving... and place it dear to his... a man who will be your best friend... your best lover... your best world. And together you will find yourself atop the altar... and after the vows are read... and the rings are bestowed to one another... he will lift your veil... look into your eyes and he into yours... and you will know... until your dying day. That is the blessing you should have... so let it be told... so let it be recognized... so let G-d bring you only happiness.

 

...Be strong. Continue no contact. Exes like our own... do not deserve us. I admit, I am in a down right now... thinking of a girl I NEVER, EVER want back. One day... I am quite sure they will realize their actions... they will feel remorse... they may even contact us (ok, my ex will never contact me b/c she doesn't have a heart... yet she believes she does...)

 

...but where will we be? We've already processed the void... we've risen up above these wretched grounds upon which we tread...

 

Mysweetie'sGone... to me, you are beautiful. Be that person I see now. Do not let their toxic gaze.. their poisonous kiss.... their revengeful thoughts... and their carnal, lecherous egos be willful to our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our souls... our very existence. As of this point in our lives... they exist no more, but are a mere shadow of a once foolish love affair... a time where you learned more about yourself than ever before... to grow and to love...

 

MSG, you're free... Love again.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Mysweetie'sgone, I wanted to wait until I had ample time to respond to your situation. I feel... I see... I know... At this very moment, I am crying. It's 10:37PM EST... I am a 25 y/o male... a graduate student... I'm independent... and have EVERY reason to be a cocky sonuvabitch... and I'm not. I'm crying...

 

Someone on these boards (and I do not recall who) once said that it is the pure hearted... the Good Ones that hurt the most... and the longest. We cannot fathom hurting anyone we bring into our lives... that close. To hold someone dear to our hearts... and for them to take us for granted. It's disgusting... truly an act of repugnance... volatile in nature.

 

The people like our exes are out there. They categorize as low-self esteem... usually looking for something in YOU they are missing in themselves. Good character, morals, trust, honesty... altruistic, benevalent features ... because something of their past demoralized them... and depurified their souls. Their means of coping? To hurt us... They don't mean it... this is all they know. And then... when we are led to believe there is a possibility for reconciliation... they impale us with an allegorical blade... directly into our hearts, where it pains us most... and ever so subtly twist the blade until our hearts bleed unsullied, pure tears... the very essence of amity & compassion that define who we are...

 

We are above this, MSG. I am learning to realize this. You will too.. in time. Please do not close your heart off... this dispicable lifeform chose you for something... selfishly. Clearly, you are more amazing than you may believe. It is these fiends that feed the very flesh from our bone... and drain the blood from our veins... and the goodness of our hearts... will not heal. Not for a long, long time... and I cannot see them happy for a long, long time...

 

My pain will subside... my heart will mend. My pride will conceal itself... and my dignity will return. My ability to love will rise again... and yours will too. Time... time is a rigid construct, but changes nothing. Doing things... changes things. I promise you... fill this void with positive influences now... GOOD friends... FAMILY... THE GYM... MUSIC... HOBBIES (pick up a new one!)... and you will crawl out of this wretched place we all seem to be... and you will rise to become a better person. a better lover. a better partner. a stronger heart. a purer soul. A woman worth loving who will love her future partner the same way back... one who will know when the fighting.. and the nuances in a relationship are worth enduring for the empowerment of THEIR soul (yours + his)... and when to say no... and to move on so that you may be happy.

 

Unfortunately today... there are many, many insecure persons walking this earth... but until your learn to live your life for you... you will never see someone's true colors. We all radiate light... and until you can see past your own reflection and realize it ISN'T YOU.... it was him. He was broken. He was the problem, like my ex girlfriend... You will then be able to understand.. and see the colors illuminated by a new man. A better man... a man who will take your heart upon giving... and place it dear to his... a man who will be your best friend... your best lover... your best world. And together you will find yourself atop the altar... and after the vows are read... and the rings are bestowed to one another... he will lift your veil... look into your eyes and he into yours... and you will know... until your dying day. That is the blessing you should have... so let it be told... so let it be recognized... so let G-d bring you only happiness.

 

...Be strong. Continue no contact. Exes like our own... do not deserve us. I admit, I am in a down right now... thinking of a girl I NEVER, EVER want back. One day... I am quite sure they will realize their actions... they will feel remorse... they may even contact us (ok, my ex will never contact me b/c she doesn't have a heart... yet she believes she does...)

 

...but where will we be? We've already processed the void... we've risen up above these wretched grounds upon which we tread...

 

Mysweetie'sGone... to me, you are beautiful. Be that person I see now. Do not let their toxic gaze.. their poisonous kiss.... their revengeful thoughts... and their carnal, lecherous egos be willful to our hearts, our minds, our bodies, our souls... our very existence. As of this point in our lives... they exist no more, but are a mere shadow of a once foolish love affair... a time where you learned more about yourself than ever before... to grow and to love...

 

MSG, you're free... Love again.

 

Wow...bananaboat...this post spoke volumes to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thought-provoking and comforting response. you're right I AM FREE. This man who could not love me freed me because e was afraid that one day I would realize how unworthy he was and free myself.

 

Right now I am feeling down...but am in a slightly better place. However, I know that any second I may be feeling exactly as you are. I will be in my bed, alone, shedding tears for a man, no, boy who isn't giving me a second thought right now. You're right..it may not be intentional...but his actions are indicative of a person with a selfish heart.

 

I broke NC tonight b/c he blew up my phone asking what I meant by my message. When I told him he vehemently denied everything and I want so badly to believe him. Then in the same breath asked me what did I expect of him and said I no longer had a right to be upset (yet he's asked me repeatedly whether I've seen anyone else). Told me nothing had changed then politely asked me how my day was in a pretense of actually caring. Told me that he carried with him a letter I wrote, but said that the things I wrote he already knew and again asked what I wanted him to do.

 

One day, perhaps when he's sitting in his itty bitty living room, staring at some new gf who he hates, reflecting over his itty bitty life he will think of me and wonder what could have been. It may be sooner than I think...I just pray if that happens I can do as you have and solidly say i would NEVER EVER take him back. He would have to cross an ocean, with both hands tied behind his back before I would even consider him.

 

I deserve more...and so do you. SOmetimes people are removed from our lives, sometimes permanantly...sometimes temporarily for a reason (cliche, i know). In my case, I was considering putting off law school (actually turned doen Vanderbilt admission for him last year) so that I could stay near him. I'm a fairly talented dancer & was limiting myself because I did not want to leave him. I was more concerned with caring for him than caring for myself and my needs. He was holding me back. So God (if you believe in him) took him away. He did me a favor...( I just don't like it!! lol) Maybe it's only temporary until I get myself together...I don't know. God knows my ex needs to get himself together. My timetable is often incorrect and I am soo impatient.

 

I am so glad I found this forum. I know that my friends and fam are probably tired of hearing me talk about this. But people like you, are experiencing what I am at the very same moment i am so you understand. Thank you!!

 

bananaboat, you say your ex will not contact you bc she has no heart...but I can almost certainly guarantee that she will. If only out of curiousity, and you show her how strong you are. Feign happiness if you have to (should you ever choose to answer her call.) Take away her strength...make her doubt her decision. (i wish i had done this) You seem extremely intelligent and level-headed...she doesn't know what she's missing! But she'll realize it...one day.

[bananaboat11]

MSG, it's 2:30AM and I am mildly intoxicated as I write to you now... (I was forced out by members from my lab to 'live again'... and I gave in.)

 

First, I thank you. Together, we possess a power greater than anything our exes could've given us.. a bond so unique and rare in form it is able to uplift us. A second chance from those who came before in our lives and broke our hearts and our trust... always deems more work to reconcile than it is worth... and very rarely does it ever last unless both parties work at it. I hate to say it, but it's true... (there is always that lingering unease from a dark precedent that ended in sadness... tears... and unnecessary torment).

 

This is your chance now, MSG... and my own. We are distinct in nature... exceptional in individuality, and extraordinary in the fact we get a second chance to redefine ourselves... our nature of things.

 

As I sit in my living with naught but a single candle flickering... and the glow of my laptop screen casting eerie shadows behind me.. I look out into the darkness of the night, beyond the rain that kisses the glass window... and into a new world laid out before us. There is no girl I intend to humiliate by using her body by misguiding her mind... and her heart in order to sacrifice her will to my better good. No. There is a whole world out there waiting for us...

 

I was foolish, just as you... I almost let a stupid girl ruin my career... I almost lost out on one of the greatest opportunities of my life (graduate school)...

 

I fell in love with a cold, black hearted girl... no more a woman than the nubile, ignorant, infantile adolescent children that engage in countless frivolous activities after school beyond the school yard... all I was to her, a game... All those moments shared... words spoken... "I almost love you..."... to appease a selfish soul... and a demented heart. She may heal from whatever vexation she endures... but I will NEVER want to know. I become a better person for it, but at what cost? My dignity... my heart's open door? My body has become a desecrated temple... I spit upon my soul... as I try to enter into a cathartic state... cleanse my soul.. my body... my spirit.

 

...for this, she will be cursed to remember my name... my face... my love... and my lust forever. I know it, but the twist to the curse... is she will never have the will to seek appeasement for her torment. No, she will stubbornly carry her pride to the grave... and it will only be in death (of natural causes, I do hope in 90+ years... she should live a long life - I NEVER wish poor/bad on ANYONE) that she will find any peace from me.

 

I can say with confidence... after reading the breach of NC... he too... may suffer something similar. That is why dumpers always come back (except mine). They strip us of all emotion and tear from us a comfort we once held dear to our hearts... devoid of all ... but through healthy means... we mend... we grow... we learn... we love to live.. and live to love.

 

...and in this time, simultaneously... we ask, "Where is their hurt?"... they possess a temporarily void filler... but as time progresses... that reason... the first understanding of why they chose YOU... lingers in the back of their minds... and they begin to wonder about you. Meanwhile, you no longer consider the thought of their existence. Preoccupied, you live. Scornfully, they reside in their thoughts... until the time comes they beckon to you... for whatever reason... they miss you.. the thought of you... to feed their own ego...

 

.......as I said before, and most will tell you, unless you TRULY, HONESTLY want it.... it will be so much more burdensome on the heart.....

 

tread cautiously... You are no longer bound to a relationship, but free to explore yourself. Do so in grace... with elegance... and willfully become the better person you were born to be. And I promise.. I shall do the same.