Omfg

[aerogurl87]

MSG, it's 2:30AM and I am mildly intoxicated as I write to you now... (I was forced out by members from my lab to 'live again'... and I gave in.)

 

First, I thank you. Together, we possess a power greater than anything our exes could've given us.. a bond so unique and rare in form it is able to uplift us. A second chance from those who came before in our lives and broke our hearts and our trust... always deems more work to reconcile than it is worth... and very rarely does it ever last unless both parties work at it. I hate to say it, but it's true... (there is always that lingering unease from a dark precedent that ended in sadness... tears... and unnecessary torment).

 

This is your chance now, MSG... and my own. We are distinct in nature... exceptional in individuality, and extraordinary in the fact we get a second chance to redefine ourselves... our nature of things.

 

As I sit in my living with naught but a single candle flickering... and the glow of my laptop screen casting eerie shadows behind me.. I look out into the darkness of the night, beyond the rain that kisses the glass window... and into a new world laid out before us. There is no girl I intend to humiliate by using her body by misguiding her mind... and her heart in order to sacrifice her will to my better good. No. There is a whole world out there waiting for us...

 

I was foolish, just as you... I almost let a stupid girl ruin my career... I almost lost out on one of the greatest opportunities of my life (graduate school)...

 

I fell in love with a cold, black hearted girl... no more a woman than the nubile, ignorant, infantile adolescent children that engage in countless frivolous activities after school beyond the school yard... all I was to her, a game... All those moments shared... words spoken... "I almost love you..."... to appease a selfish soul... and a demented heart. She may heal from whatever vexation she endures... but I will NEVER want to know. I become a better person for it, but at what cost? My dignity... my heart's open door? My body has become a desecrated temple... I spit upon my soul... as I try to enter into a cathartic state... cleanse my soul.. my body... my spirit.

 

...for this, she will be cursed to remember my name... my face... my love... and my lust forever. I know it, but the twist to the curse... is she will never have the will to seek appeasement for her torment. No, she will stubbornly carry her pride to the grave... and it will only be in death (of natural causes, I do hope in 90+ years... she should live a long life - I NEVER wish poor/bad on ANYONE) that she will find any peace from me.

 

I can say with confidence... after reading the breach of NC... he too... may suffer something similar. That is why dumpers always come back (except mine). They strip us of all emotion and tear from us a comfort we once held dear to our hearts... devoid of all ... but through healthy means... we mend... we grow... we learn... we love to live.. and live to love.

 

...and in this time, simultaneously... we ask, "Where is their hurt?"... they possess a temporarily void filler... but as time progresses... that reason... the first understanding of why they chose YOU... lingers in the back of their minds... and they begin to wonder about you. Meanwhile, you no longer consider the thought of their existence. Preoccupied, you live. Scornfully, they reside in their thoughts... until the time comes they beckon to you... for whatever reason... they miss you.. the thought of you... to feed their own ego...

 

.......as I said before, and most will tell you, unless you TRULY, HONESTLY want it.... it will be so much more burdensome on the heart.....

 

tread cautiously... You are no longer bound to a relationship, but free to explore yourself. Do so in grace... with elegance... and willfully become the better person you were born to be. And I promise.. I shall do the same.

 

Wow, bananaboat11. Umm wow! You should think about becoming a writer on the side because that was both beautiful and inspirational. I'm in awe.

[bananaboat11]

Wow, bananaboat11. Umm wow! You should think about becoming a writer on the side because that was both beautiful and inspirational. I'm in awe.

 

 

 

Truly... thanks. This is just an escape from the confines of reality for me... right now the pain that had taken up shelter in my heart slowly diminishes, but until then... I am here. And my words.. I say with sincerity.. I believe in them and I hope, for hope's sake... you do too.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Wow, bananaboat11. Umm wow! You should think about becoming a writer on the side because that was both beautiful and inspirational. I'm in awe.

 

I agree aerogurl. he's very eloquent. Sooo...i deactivated my fb again this morning. I hate that they ask you for confirmation now and show pics of the people who will miss you. for some reason a pic of me and my ex pops up and the message say "are u sure you want to leave? X will miss u." lol. wth? why? someone has a real sense of humor. I only hope I don't reactivate soon...I get so afraid that he'll get upset with me. when i did this after our initial break up he was crushed bc he thought i'd blocked him. I dunno...i'll probably end up reactivating it

[MySweetie'sGone]

I have a date with a guy who is super hot and nice next week, and things are looking up. The same can be true for you if you just focus on the fact that you don't need him to be happy with life. And one day that special man will walk into your life and you will forget about your ex. The pain and hurt associated with his memory will fade and you will wonder, "why did I cry over that idiot?" The time will come, just be patient.

 

I can't wait for that time to come. right now i still compare everyone to him...

[bananaboat11]

MSG, it does get easier...

 

may I ask how old you are?

 

Right now... (and this took me a few weeks to work up the courage if the time came...) I have the ex... AND every mutual friend that was associated with her who isn't a big part of my life (which is ALL, but one) on block. Probably permanently. I downloaded an app for my phone that hangs up on listed numbers I program it to instantly when they call, so i'll never know they called...

 

..and I've entered their e-mails into a spam filer that deleted their messages as soon as it enters my inbox.

 

 

Stay true to the no contact.. you can do better for yourself. I know it's possible! You should too

[MySweetie'sGone]

MSG, it does get easier...

 

may I ask how old you are?

 

Right now... (and this took me a few weeks to work up the courage if the time came...) I have the ex... AND every mutual friend that was associated with her who isn't a big part of my life (which is ALL, but one) on block. Probably permanently. I downloaded an app for my phone that hangs up on listed numbers I program it to instantly when they call, so i'll never know they called...

 

..and I've entered their e-mails into a spam filer that deleted their messages as soon as it enters my inbox.

 

 

Stay true to the no contact.. you can do better for yourself. I know it's possible! You should too

 

Every time anyone writes MSG I think of food! lol.

 

I'm actually 22 (soon to be 23:)), and I'm pretty proud of the leaps and bounds I've made already since graduation last year. Quite frankly my ex is an idiot for leaving. He seems to be aware of that (at least verbally) yet...away he goes!

 

At one point I had every number he's ever called me from blocked (ATT Smartlimits is awesome, lol)...I just re-blocked the no. he called me from last night. But I'm so afraid of cutting all avenues of contact bc I've always been taught not to burn my bridges...& he's not a bad guy at all...just confused and been through a lot in his life & is afraid to fully let go and immerse himself in love for the fear that it will leave him and he will have no say in the matter (or so my psychology classes suggest:o).

 

I will stay true to NC from now on...but somehow I think that maybe I won't even be hearing from him again anyway.

[bananaboat11]

Every time anyone writes MSG I think of food! lol.

 

I'm actually 22 (soon to be 23:)), and I'm pretty proud of the leaps and bounds I've made already since graduation last year. Quite frankly my ex is an idiot for leaving. He seems to be aware of that (at least verbally) yet...away he goes!

 

At one point I had every number he's ever called me from blocked (ATT Smartlimits is awesome, lol)...I just re-blocked the no. he called me from last night. But I'm so afraid of cutting all avenues of contact bc I've always been taught not to burn my bridges...& he's not a bad guy at all...just confused and been through a lot in his life & is afraid to fully let go and immerse himself in love for the fear that it will leave him and he will have no say in the matter (or so my psychology classes suggest:o).

 

I will stay true to NC from now on...but somehow I think that maybe I won't even be hearing from him again anyway.

 

 

Even though you wish to be benevolent.. and give him the benefit of the doubt, you can't think to drag yourself through the mud "in case he does pull through...". I hate to say it, but what if he never does? Where does that leave you?

 

I'm Rob... by the way. I can continue to refer to you as MSG.. or do you have a name? I would hope you do

[bananaboat11]

Somestimes I wonder why my ex really did unblock me after 2 full months of no contact... 2 months earlier she had to let me know how much she never cared about me... (blocked me, block my good female friend - who is ONLY a female friend - but is attractive... still, just a friend)... and defacebooked ALL my friends .. who became her friends, until the breakup... (this after she dumped me via facebook)

 

...ah... the unknown can be such a bitch.

 

3 months now.. and I blocked her. Don't really see myself removing her, ever. If she REALLY wanted to contact me... she would've done it already.

 

Oh well...

[MySweetie'sGone]

Even though you wish to be benevolent.. and give him the benefit of the doubt, you can't think to drag yourself through the mud "in case he does pull through...". I hate to say it, but what if he never does? Where does that leave you?

 

I'm Rob... by the way. I can continue to refer to you as MSG.. or do you have a name? I would hope you do

 

Lol! It's Jennifer (Jen for short) & you are so right...what if he NEVER pulls through? That's why I'm trying my best not to put my life on hold...however hard (bc I'd be waiting a LONG time even if he does have a change of heart). I've applied to law schools in other states now (btw when I told him this he actually had the NERVE to tell me to stay in this city "because it's closer" (to what??) then he said "oh well, I'll find you when I need you). Nothing is holding me back from leaving. Now I'm just playing the waiting game.

[bananaboat11]

Lol! It's Jennifer (Jen for short) & you are so right...what if he NEVER pulls through? That's why I'm trying my best not to put my life on hold...however hard (bc I'd be waiting a LONG time even if he does have a change of heart). I've applied to law schools in other states now (btw when I told him this he actually had the NERVE to tell me to stay in this city "because it's closer" (to what??) then he said "oh well' date=' I'll find you when I need you). Nothing is holding me back from leaving. Now I'm just playing the waiting game.[/quote']

 

Don't wait... live YOUR life. If YOU want HIM... he needs to want YOU just as BADLY.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Honestly, from a woman's point of view, she unblocked you bc she's too stubborn to contact you herself and is hoping that you would reach out to her. If she really wanted to contact you or reconcile or whatever...she knows how to find you. When people want something they find a way to get it.

 

Shayman: thank you for your well wishes. Falling out of love just isn't easy for some people (unlike my ex obviously)

[bananaboat11]

damn.. I can't believe I just read this...

 

If you're worried you might be someone's rebound

 

1. They move at a really fast pace. - Yes, she did...

2. They don't take the time to get to know you. Umm.. she did... to an extent...

3. They still talk about their ex. holy ****, yes..

4. They compare you to their ex. Even if this is in a positive light, it's not good. Yes ...

5. They're needy. Some people simply don't want to be single for long. If you have trouble imagining what they would do with their spare time if they didn't have a significant other, that's a bad sign. uh oh...

6. They have a history of going from one relationship, right into another. yes...

7. You have a tendency of wanting to "rescue" people. eh, not really..

8. Consider being their friend, rather than their lover. Nah..

9. Look for the person having a desire to keep your relationship a secret, or show it off a lot. holy **** did she show it off...

 

...yup. I was a huge rebound. She's never coming back.

 

FML.

 

I've got to cure this Nice Guy Syndrome BS I suffer...

 

And Jen, thanks. Nice meeting you.

 

Just remember.. be SELFISH now. Don't let him bring you down... no partner is worth that. IF you truly want him in your life... you BOTH need to work extra hard to get past this step... and make it work... day after day...

 

=/

[bananaboat11]

You don't have to take my advice... i've only been in 2 LT, meaningful relationships... one girl believes we are soulmates.. the other (after 1.5 years of NC, contacted me) still "holds on to me, but not in that clingy way...

 

Then I've had 3 ST relationships... 1 toxic & dysfunctional... and now I'm beginning to believe I really was her rebound heh...

 

I must be sexy.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Oh no, Rob! Sounds like you're getting down. Don't. lol (I know, i know easier said than done). How long was your relationship may I ask? & how long had her last ended before the two of you got together? Sometimes rebound rel. aren't all bad.

 

--My ex still doesn't know it, but he was kind of MY rebound from this other guy I'd dated...and I fell head over heels in love with him--

[MySweetie'sGone]

one girl believes we are soulmates HA! I have an ex (he dumped me what...5 yrs ago?) from high school who thinks he my soulmate now!

 

Then I've had 3 ST relationships... 1 toxic & dysfunctional... and now I'm beginning to believe I really was her rebound heh...

 

I must be sexy.LoL. I'm sure you are...now use that sexiness to find someone new!

 

& I'm taking any advice I can get...sometimes it just helps to talk it out

[bananaboat11]

My rebound relationship... about 4.5 months.

 

there is a whole thread of me crying my eyes out somewhere in the breakups forum...

 

it was a toxic relationship.

[bananaboat11]

it's weird tho.. some days I believe she will find a way to contact me... (and I think she unblocked me b/c she missed me)

 

..but most days, I know she won't. (then I realize that she's a heartless, cold, selfish bitch who is trying to feed her ego knowing.. or believing.. or wanting to believe she can have me at any moment she wants.. and is stringing along breadcrumbs... like I'm supposed to beg her to come back)

 

heh

[bananaboat11]

Jen, it was nice meeting you.

 

if you need/want to talk ever... it is definitely good to talk it all out.. even 3 months post-bu i'm learning it still helps more and more.. and makes it easier.

 

so thank you for listening to my drama-sob story LOL

 

you can shoot me an e-mail over to my public / spam e-mail and i'll give you my private contact info (FB or private gmail account)

 

i need to get ready (woke up later today) and run errands and gym it up before it closes @ 6 pm...

 

then i guess I have a 'peudo date' tonight with a female friend who is going to "Show me a good time"... ie, we'll sit there and talk about her new boy... and size up girls that are or aren't good for me.. ha.

 

oy vey (yes,i'm jewish)

 

anyhow... be strong! You seem like an intelligent, attractive, sane, competent, poignant woman... and you have A LOT going for you. Don't blow it because one boy can't differentiate the good from the poor... and continuously crawls through the dirt... attempting to keep you there with him.

 

I know a lot of hot/attractive academics who are like me... fall to stupid love... almost blow it and realize their work is more important... and that one day, love will just be.

 

I don't want a hot girl.. I want someone I can call beautiful.

 

good luck Jen!

 

my spam gmail is robby31784[@]gmail

 

without the [ ]

[MySweetie'sGone]

Great, thanks! Enjoy your "pseudo date" tonight! Thanks so much for the encouragement...I'm feeling okay right now but I'm sure later on I'll be wailing and gnashing my teeth! lol

[MySweetie'sGone]

Ughh...three hours later and I feel absolutely horrible. Wasted a lot of time today looking at people's reconciliation stories...*sigh*

[bananaboat11]

Ughh...three hours later and I feel absolutely horrible. Wasted a lot of time today looking at people's reconciliation stories...*sigh*

 

Those that get that 'second chance' will understand it's going to take a double or triple effort to "make it work"... there is ALWAYS baggage going into a 'second chance'... and to make the second chance happen.. a person has to change him/herself for themselves to be with that person they want to be with... they can't change FOR the person... and the person should NOT change them.

 

Be strong, Jen.

[MySweetie'sGone]

Thank you...tonight is just not a good night for me...

 

I decided to leave my fb up so that he can see my "happy" postings and think I'm moving on. I should have enough will power to resist looking at his page (but I know I don't). He expects me to look at it too...i know he does. he usually asks if i've seen his latest status or photos (like I'm supposed to keep up with it)...just throwing me crumbs...I may be petite but I am no bird to take anyone's crumbs. And to anyone reading this make sure you don't settle for someone's crumbs either. we deserve the entire cake...lol.

[bananaboat11]

Thank you...tonight is just not a good night for me...

 

I decided to leave my fb up so that he can see my "happy" postings and think I'm moving on. I should have enough will power to resist looking at his page (but I know I don't). He expects me to look at it too...i know he does. he usually asks if i've seen his latest status or photos (like I'm supposed to keep up with it)...just throwing me crumbs...I may be petite but I am no bird to take anyone's crumbs. And to anyone reading this make sure you don't settle for someone's crumbs either. we deserve the entire cake...lol.

 

 

oh nicole.... you want your cake and to eat it too...

 

well this piece of cake is blocking your ass (already done) and going to let another girl eat from his plate...

 

your loss Nicole baby... will miss you.

 

Sorry Jen... you just reminded me of the last week and how she's playing those games with me even though neither of us have yet to break the NC.

 

Be strong!

 

I'm about to head out,but good luck to you. Stay strong!

 

Do not give in any longer.. you are above that.

[aerogurl87]

I can't wait for that time to come. right now i still compare everyone to him...

 

I did that too, MSG, for almost 6 months. And then I took a friend's advice and took a step back and looked at our relationship for what it was. Yeah I was happy at times, but at what cost? Losing all my self respect almost to make him happy? When I began to look at how good I was to him and how much he never appreciated it really, I started to see that he wasn't the end all, be all. With that said, he did have qualities that I would like in a future boyfriend. He was very passionate about our relationship and a big romantic. Those were his few good qualities and so now that's the only thing I want in a future SO that he had himself. But I hope you get to that point soon. It may take awhile to come, but it will come. Just don't make my mistake and find a rebound guy who you later regret dating because you go into your relationship trying to put him on a pedestal and thus push your ex out of your mind. Only to find weeks or months later that you were setting yourself up for another failure and your new partner some unneeded heartbreak.

[bananaboat11]

I did that too, MSG, for almost 6 months. And then I took a friend's advice and took a step back and looked at our relationship for what it was. Yeah I was happy at times, but at what cost? Losing all my self respect almost to make him happy? When I began to look at how good I was to him and how much he never appreciated it really, I started to see that he wasn't the end all, be all. With that said, he did have qualities that I would like in a future boyfriend. He was very passionate about our relationship and a big romantic. Those were his few good qualities and so now that's the only thing I want in a future SO that he had himself. But I hope you get to that point soon. It may take awhile to come, but it will come. Just don't make my mistake and find a rebound guy who you later regret dating because you go into your relationship trying to put him on a pedestal and thus push your ex out of your mind. Only to find weeks or months later that you were setting yourself up for another failure and your new partner some unneeded heartbreak.

 

 

And COMPLETELY DESTROYING THAT REBOUND GUY EMOTIONALLY (IE, THAT WOULD BE ME RIGHT NOW)

 

Thanks Nicole... you heartless bitch.