Anxious about the next few days....

[bridget]

Hi all,

 

I only ever seem to come here when I have a problem, and not dispense any of my own advice (if I have any worth dispensing!) but I have a little dilemma...which, while nothing like some of the problems other people are having, is making me a teeny bit anxious.

 

Ok, so I've been at University this past term. Met a bloke, hit it off, got fairly serious fairly quickly. We went out to the cinema/pub/to eat or just stayed in together basically every night the last 3 and a half months, and we know each other as well as you can in that space of time, and still get on amazingly. We've said the "I love you" bit, made the romantic gestures and had the arguments and differences of opinion. I've never felt nervous or anxious about anything where he's concerned - we have the same friends at University, go to the same gigs, pubs, even go to the library together and drive to nowhere on Sunday afternoons. It all seems really...well comfortable, and mature (we are pretty young, and without sounding egotistical we act quite differently to our friends whom are coupled-off).

 

Anyway, now I've finished ranting about how fantastic everything is - he's coming to meet my parents on Tuesday, staying for New Year and we're going back to Uni together on Saturday. I know it's normal to be nervous about boyfriend meeting parents, but that's not the part that scares me. My parents are vaguely old-fashioned etc but I know they'll be fine - if a little embarassing! But I feel anxious about keeping him entertained over the time he's here. We'll go out around my hometown and I'll show him stuff, but I feel like it's going to be really dull and uninteresting for him! Most nights I've planned with my friends to go to different pubs and bars to catch up, but they are mostly girls and I feel like he's going to feel incredibly uncomfortable no matter how much I try to make the opposite true. I feel like no matter how many original things I dream up for us to do, he's going to be let down when he sees me at home and not in the University environment where everyone (I assume it's not just me anyway) acts at least a little differently. I have met his parents and stayed the weekend before last at his family home, and it was fantastic. He even left me with his family on the Sunday while he had to work and I didn't feel uncomfortable or bored for a second. But I think that might be something to do with my personality - I hate to make people feel bad and could probably garner some enjoyment from (almost) any situation if it kept everyone happy and guilt-free. I don't know that he's the same, and maybe I'm placing too much weight on entertainment, but I feel like he should be having fun when he's on my home-turf.

 

Am I insane? Can anyone give me any advice to calm me down? I don't just mean ideas of things we can do, but shed any light on why I'm feeling this way (I know, I should just shell out for extensive therapy but I thought I'd try here first!)

 

Bridget xx

[moimeme]

It does sound a bit dull to be hauled to a bunch of bars where old friends will catch up on news you know nothing about. Do these friends have bfs to bring who might get along with him? Do these bars have pool or darts or something he could do while you and your chums 'catch up'?

 

If not, could you arrange to meet all your friends over one or two evenings instead of using up every evening and then spend more evenings exclusively with him?

[bridget]

moimeme - you're totally right, and I had picked up on that when I wrote down the things I'd planned to do and realised they mostly involved bars or clubs However, when we're together those are the kinds of things we mostly do, other than staying in, and since we're not around our mutual friends I thought it'd kill 2 birds with one stone (the meeting friends and the something to do!). The bars do have pool and darts, and I'm glad you reminded me of that because he's big on both those things! I don't know about the other boyfriends part though, as far as I'm aware most of them don't have boyfriends at the moment, but it's something I can find out about anyway!

 

Pretty much I was planning to have one or two evenings to spend alone with him, as well as all but one of the days. But that's my main dilemma - we can happily wile away full days doing nothing when we're at University. But now he's staying with me in my home, I feel like just my company doesn't cut it, and I need to entertain him. Is that understandable?