Kevin Kristopher Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 After hearing about the whole space thing and having no contact a for a while, how do I go about doing that? If having no contact is something I should do for me, since i want to get back together with my ex-girlfriend and she doesn't want a serious relationship right now, but yet she tells me she loves me and still wants to talk to me, how do I go about having no contact for a while, do i tell her? do i just not answer her phone calls? let me know what up? Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 You pretty much answered your own question, man. Kindly ask her that you don't want her to contact you and if she doesn't comply, don't answer the phone or respond to her e-mails. ~Vivid Link to post Share on other sites
carra Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 you got the right idea, absolutely no contact at all! no e-mail, text, nothing! it works, for two reasons: for you- you can let go of the hurt easier and move on, and for her, she will become curious about your life and miss you, basically panick and second guess her decision in the first place. for me, i changed my cell number, refused to talk to anyone associated w/ my ex, and left him a msg not to call my work anymore. three weeks later- and he sounds regretful. Link to post Share on other sites
mjk Posted December 28, 2003 Share Posted December 28, 2003 Both of those are great ideas, Maybe to start it off you might have to say; "I think it might be better if we don't keep in contact for awhile, I feel that we are heading in different ways with our relationship and it is too hard for me to keep going through this when I know we have different perspectives." But everyone else is right...she will be back in touch as soon as you are not! Link to post Share on other sites
ojibwaywmn Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 I know how hard it is, as I am going through the same thing too. I just told my ex to get rid of my info as I will not be contacting him. He wants to be friends but with how I feel, it is just too hard. I wouldn't be surprised that in a few months time, he will find a way to talk to me. Just as I am sure your ex will. Like everyone else said, don't answer any phone calls, emails, etc. As I will be doing the same. Take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
werty Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 what if lets say that she is the one initiating the break-up. and eventually would want a no contact relationship... even if how hard i tried to have her back or understand her for about aweek and still she wount budge... if i would agree with her on this no contact relationship,stay away from her friends,no talks,txt,or calls,avoid seeing her, avoid places that she might go to, do u think she would wonder why i havent called up? would it mean anything to her? or would feel anything eventhough it was her idea in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
mr_roggger Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 I think she might miss you and wonder where you are even though she initiated that kind of relationship. It will definately gain respect for yourself in her eyes if you obide by it though. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted December 29, 2003 Share Posted December 29, 2003 hello i am also going through the same thing... my ex dumped me but wants to remain friends as she says she is really fond of me, initially she said we must spend time apart then get together to try to be friends... however the last 3 weeks she was in need of a helping hand and i really helped her out... she then invited me out for drinks last week and i went as difficult as it was... now she invites me out with the rest of her friends for her birthday this week... most people i talk to and people on this forum have told me not to go for it isn't fair on me, i fell in love with this girl and still have every feeling for her after 5 weeks of our breakup, i do want to be friends with her although it is too hard as i can't switch off from wanting her romantically she will phone me soon to make arrangements, should i cut contact? i am afraid that if I do that we will never see each other again you can read my story here Link to post Share on other sites
mr_roggger Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Originally posted by BrainRightHeartWrong ...i do want to be friends with her although it is too hard as i can't switch off from wanting her romantically... I know how you feel, it is so hard! sometimes I have days when i'm ok about things (well, not ok but but I don't go around pining for her feeling sorry for myself), then other days (usually days where I see her or hear something from her that's not quite what I want to hear (although already know/expect to hear)) I feel really terrible about everything all over again. I wish there was an on/off switch for certain feelings! Leave her phone you to make the arrangements. I always find it nice when my ex initiates contact, and it shows a certain level of commitment to your relationship (whatever it may be) from them. Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 i will do leave her to phone me mr_roggger, under no circumstances will i phone her but i know she will phone me, she doesn't forget, this i have learnt about her i'm nearly hoping now that she won't phone me i've been advised to turn down the invitation if she does phone by girls on this forum and 'virtual' girls i know although i am dreading the thought of saying to her that i am not going because "its too difficult to see you again blah blah" Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted December 30, 2003 Share Posted December 30, 2003 Kevin, You could just tell her that everything which COULD be said....HAS been said....so, until either one of you have something NEW to add to the conversation....there is no reason to rehash the same conversation over and over. Therefore, until (or if) she has a change of heart....you are only saying there is no reason for you guys to continue talking at this time. It still leaves the door open for conversation IF the situation changes. Link to post Share on other sites
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