amilyah Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Well so you all know my hubby walked out 2 months(20 years together).First month i stayed in bed crying alot,not eating,no sleep,wanting to die.Well now though i do still think about him its not all day anymore.I also have met a few men and talk to them alot.We flirt with eachother,but they know my situation and that im not ready to move on quite yet.So they are ok with being friends for now.Also going out alot now where before wouldnt go because i was to scared to run into ex.We havent spoke in 6 weeks thanks to ls.But im to the point i dont want to talk to him.Couldnt ever forgive him for cheating.Im still scared to run into him though,scared if i see him ill go back to where i was first month.What do you guys think.Do you think im really almost over this or will it hit me again.I hear that happens sometimes.Although i still love him i dont want him.Also want to thank everyone on ls that has helped me through this.Dont think i would have gotten where i am today with out you guys............Big kisses to you all Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 I won't date anyone utill the ink is dried on the divorced papers until one year afterwards, preferr two. Better three! I don't care if you've been seperated three years! Link to post Share on other sites
Jade 02 Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Yeah sorry amilya,2 months does not really seem like a long time to heal to me,then again,it's up to the person when they are ready. my 1st hubby was only 6 years,and it took me months,I'd say 9 months. But certainly don't stop yourself from going out,lawdy! lots of fish in the sea girl,bait your hook,and reel him in girl Ha GOOD LUCK,don't live like a hermit because of EX. best Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 Do you think im really almost over this or will it hit me again. Yes, it will hit you again. Definitely! It can do that years and years later...even after you're perfectly happy and at peace in your new life. The heart is a 'funny' instrument. As far as recovering from this one...you are making progress. As the others have said, it is highly unlikely to almost impossible that you're anywhere close to "almost over it." It's fine, though. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You're doing all the good "healing and recovery" things...stay on that road and you'll get there almost without noticing it. Hugs, and good healing. Link to post Share on other sites
tnttim Posted January 16, 2010 Share Posted January 16, 2010 I commend your great effort. You have come a long way in a short time, be happy about that. This will get easier. When I went through that I came up with a saying. *i can't change my past only the future, I can't rid the scar only the suture.* Link to post Share on other sites
Author amilyah Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 Wow i saw him today and didnt even want to talk to him.I think im moving on fast because he made me hate him.I dont want to hate him because i believe every one should be happy and if he wasnt happy here then he should have left.But he could have done it in a much better way.I think of him as a coward.Still cant believe he left me here with all the bills knowing i didnt work.Thank God everyday for my parents,they have helped me so much.But i think he knew they would.I got 4 more months then i can file for divorce.I also thank God for letting me find this site.YOu all have helped me through this.Thank you all.................... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 amilyah, It does sound as if you're doing very well under the circumstances. I'm guessing your generally positive outlook and knowing what you've got to be grateful for is really helping you along I was thinking, though, that you do not have to hate him. You only need hate his actions. You can do that and wish him well at the same time -- not that it's always easy, but I do think it can be done if one is willing to work at it. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeff1962 Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Wow i saw him today and didnt even want to talk to him.I think im moving on fast because he made me hate him.I dont want to hate him because i believe every one should be happy and if he wasnt happy here then he should have left.But he could have done it in a much better way.I think of him as a coward.Still cant believe he left me here with all the bills knowing i didnt work.Thank God everyday for my parents,they have helped me so much.But i think he knew they would.I got 4 more months then i can file for divorce.I also thank God for letting me find this site.YOu all have helped me through this.Thank you all.................... I don't think (hatred) is a very positive self tool. He did not make you hate him. He might be an a**hole but you choose to hate. Hate, greed and hurt are the three reasons for human suffering. Only negative aspects come from these. It's ok to embrace how you feel but you eventually need to let negative thoughts go. They will effect you and your next relationship if you don't. Try to focus on you. Try to focus on what you want out of life. You already know what you don't want. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
mimidarlin Posted January 17, 2010 Share Posted January 17, 2010 Hatred is a feeling I am trying to avoid at all costs. I'm really angry. Angry for being treated in disrespectful way. However, I predict that hatred would poison me and any future relationships. He does sound like a coward. Leave you with all of the bills because he can rely on your rents paying. Can't he be held accountable for those debts? Maybe you don't want the money or you just want him out of your life. I just don't think that someone should be able to walk away financially. Choices and consequences. I think you owe it to yourself to try and hold him financially accountable. Even if it just ruins his credit and you never see a dime. Don't accept all of this liability. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amilyah Posted January 17, 2010 Author Share Posted January 17, 2010 You guys are right,i really dont hate him(just what hes done).We were together a long time.Part of me will probably always love him.I would never take him back though. As far as the debt part of it i dont know how to make him pay.I know he will have to after the divorce,but i cant even start that for 4 more months. Link to post Share on other sites
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