Should I ask her?

[utohskettiohs]

Not ask her out, but... ask her to give me the gist of the way she feels. I've had a friend give me a few compliments and I'm positive that she thinks I'm a good guy. Just out of sheer curiosity, I want to know if she, uh, likes me? In some sort of way, more than a friend. At least the potential being there. It's impossible for us to be together though (another story) so that could be why she hasn't really said more than what she has. I've also had a few girls tell me before that I'm such a great guy yada yada but turns out it was their way of saying I'm a good guy but there is no interest.

 

Basically, I want to ask her what she feels like, but I think I'll risk feeling like an ass if I do. And I think that maybe she'll over react and the friendship could be tarnished. I don't know.

 

Shall I let it remain a mystery or just give it a go?

[anne1707]

If you cannot be together then why ask her to expose herself like this? To ask her to open up but with no chance of a relationship is unfair and not the way friends should behave in my opinion, especially if all you want is to have an ego boost from knowing someone "likes" you.

[utohskettiohs]

You completely, utterly missed the point. We can't be together because of distance and we both realize that. I don't want some stupid ego boost. I'm going to take it that your answer is no, I shouldn't ask. So at least thanks for that.

[anne1707]

You completely, utterly missed the point. We can't be together because of distance and we both realize that. I don't want some stupid ego boost. I'm going to take it that your answer is no, I shouldn't ask. So at least thanks for that.

 

No I did not completely, utterly miss the point. It does not matter at all why you can't be together. All that matters is that you said a relationship is not possible.

[utohskettiohs]

Look, I just wanted an opinion or two on whether or not I should ask her what's up with saying some of the things she does. And that's not all that matters. She's a really shy person sometimes and I was alluding to that. I wanted to know out of curiosity, not for an ego boost.

[anne1707]

Whatever your motives, you are still asking her to open up and risk getting hurt. That is just not fair especially if you are not prepared to do the same.

[utohskettiohs]

I'm not that kind of person and she knows it. I hear so many times 'how will you know if you don't ask?', like it's terrible of someone to not get out there and see what your options are. That's all

[anne1707]

Would you like a relationship with her? Are you willing to have a long distance relationship?

 

If yes to both of these then you tell her how you feel. If the answer is no then don't ask.

[utohskettiohs]

That's the thing that's confusing me. I've got a business partner and tons of friends in her area and she's mentioned going out of her way to catch a ride and come see me when I'm there. But you know what, on second thought, I think it might be best to just let that happen naturally.

 

The curiosity just kills me

[xpaperxcutx]

That's the thing that's confusing me. I've got a business partner and tons of friends in her area and she's mentioned going out of her way to catch a ride and come see me when I'm there. But you know what, on second thought, I think it might be best to just let that happen naturally.

 

The curiosity just kills me

 

I agree with Anne, why are you asking for he to expose herself? By wanting to know you're doing it out of selfish motives ( because you're CURIOUS) and you already said you don't want a relationship.

 

Most people don't like being upfront about their feelings especially if they don't a relationship in the works. It's like going on a first date ( casually) and saying hey I think I love you. Wouldn't that be weird?