I really shouldn't be reading too much into this but....

[xpaperxcutx]

my FWB is starting to confuse me.

 

When we're in bed together, we somehow always find ourselves exposing little bits and pieces of each other, from family to dreams and potential future aspirations.

 

While we were getting hot and heavy in bed the other night, he started telling me about his friend Anne, how she might have feelings for him and he was letting me know in advance .

 

I've met Anne once. She's a sweet girl, a bit on the shy side, but very down-to-earth. FWB has told me before he's not ready to be in a relationship until he has his issues together.

 

I then asked him why he was telling me this.

 

We never really established anything when we started sleeping together, but the basic gist was that we were still allowed to sleep with other people, although the actual point of discussing the people we might be seeing never really came into play.

 

So I asked him again, " Why do you care what I think?"

 

His response:

 

" I don't know".

 

Simple, direct, yet I could tell he was a little shocked.

 

I asked a close friend of mine why he would do that and my friend told me he was testing me. Which just baffles me even more since the very first night we were together, we already established that we're just f- buddies, and I would break things off if I fell in love.

 

Blah... he just made things a little complicated.

[WTRanger]

Well, to be honest, things got complicated the minute you started into a FWB. I'm sure he's getting your opinion because he may feel he can talk to you. I mean, if he can have sex with you, can't he at least ask your opinion? Or do you want to stay so disconnected from him on a personal level, as to not risk developing feelings and the general complications that always arise on one side from a FWB, that he is nothing more than a male hooker to you? We all know, you don't talk to the hookers. Get in, do your business, and get out.

 

FWB's never work. Always, 1,000,000% of the time one person develops feelings. It's just kind of how our brains our wired. In fact, full detachment from sex and feelings is probably not a healthy thing. I'm sure he was a bit shocked. In so many words, you told him that you are not hanging out with him to hear him talk. You are telling him that you don't want to know anything about him or his life, which is completely messed up because usually that stuff comes BEFORE sex. You are reducing him to nothing more than a dick with legs.

 

If you think this is getting too complicated, you've got to cut this off immediately.

[xpaperxcutx]

Well, to be honest, things got complicated the minute you started into a FWB. I'm sure he's getting your opinion because he may feel he can talk to you. I mean, if he can have sex with you, can't he at least ask your opinion? Or do you want to stay so disconnected from him on a personal level, as to not risk developing feelings and the general complications that always arise on one side from a FWB, that he is nothing more than a male hooker to you? We all know, you don't talk to the hookers. Get in, do your business, and get out.

 

FWB's never work. Always, 1,000,000% of the time one person develops feelings. It's just kind of how our brains our wired. In fact, full detachment from sex and feelings is probably not a healthy thing. I'm sure he was a bit shocked. In so many words, you told him that you are not hanging out with him to hear him talk. You are telling him that you don't want to know anything about him or his life, which is completely messed up because usually that stuff comes BEFORE sex. You are reducing him to nothing more than a dick with legs.

 

If you think this is getting too complicated, you've got to cut this off immediately.

 

That's the thing though WTR, I know FWB never work out. Hence the very first night we slept together ( about two weeks ago) he and I both made it clear that we're not going to end up together ( he even made it a point to bruise my ego by saying " We're incompatible"). Fine I accept that, that's why I don't care who he sleeps with.

 

I think I'm more emotionnally detached than anything else. Yet, it's not like I just view him as a dick. I mean I hang out with him and his close friends and in a way I'm one of the guys.

 

I just find it weird that he needs to tell me about his friend like he's trying to spare my feelings or something.

[WTRanger]

He could just be telling you about her as he would tell his other friends. In a way, you are just "one of the guys."

 

If you don't care who he sleeps with or if he starts dating someone and if you are emotionally detached, why are you posting about it? Why let this get to you?

[xpaperxcutx]

He could just be telling you about her as he would tell his other friends. In a way, you are just "one of the guys."

 

If you don't care who he sleeps with or if he starts dating someone and if you are emotionally detached, why are you posting about it? Why let this get to you?

 

I'm not but I guess my over curious nature got the best of me. I am over it though. It's just if he does get with someone else, I also know that he'll be honest.

[WTRanger]

The more I think about it, your friend is probably right. That was a test. Your FWB could have had similar feelings for both you and the other girl and he was wanting to see where he stood.

 

It does indeed sound complicated a little bit, but at least you are being honest with him about where he stands and what he means to you.

[xpaperxcutx]

The more I think about it, your friend is probably right. That was a test. Your FWB could have had similar feelings for both you and the other girl and he was wanting to see where he stood.

 

It does indeed sound complicated a little bit, but at least you are being honest with him about where he stands and what he means to you.

 

Hence my confusion. Need I put an emphasis on the fact that he did told me in these words " We're incompatible. I would want a girlfriend that was more driven." ( Yes, for some incomprehensible reason he thinks I lack drive in my life).

 

I could tell he has a little feeling for his friend, but after sleeping together, for what? 3 times, he suddenly wants to know where he stood with me? He drew the lines, I didn't. That's how I knew I will not fall for him like I did my last FWB.